Exactly one year ago my ex-wife was attempting to get my four year old daughter (who I had fought three frustrating years to convince the state should not be in the custody of such an obvious nut) to say the word 'duiker' (meaning small antelope) which she had spelled out using large block letters. When this four year old professed to not be able to read the word 'duiker' my ex accused her of lying, and spanked her 10 times.
She then asked her again what the word was, again my daughter indicated she did not know, again 10 smacks on the buttocks. This repeated "numerous" times until my ex said that her hand hurt...but this process continued "three or four" more times with a belt.
At this point my ex drove my daughter to the local hospital...not because she was in searing pain and in need of medical attention, but because "she felt that the hospital could help convince her daughter not to lie to her anymore." She was promptly arrested for child abuse.
Suddenly faced with having to care full time for a four year old with post dramatic stress disorder, and without child support or a strong financial situation to begin with I chose to move back in with my parents.
A few months later we heard that my ex had been diagnosed as narcissistic...but to a level where she had gone psychotic. It was also learned that Social Services had began an investigation on her only a week before the abuse occurred; something that in retrospect makes me think challenged her 'authority' and caused her to think along the lines of, "I'll show them how great of a parent I am when I demonstrate how I can get a four year old to read 'duiker'."
Hearing about the narcissism, and not really understanding it, I did a bunch of research and was dumbfounded with what I read. Everything fit my ex so perfectly. But the more I read, the more clearly I was seeing my whole situation, and it wasn't good. It is obvious to me now that my micro-managing, authoritarian mother is also narcissistic, and unless I can vastly improve my financial situation (an endeavor she seems to find ways to impede) me and my daughter are stuck living with her.
My whole life seems as if it's being managed by her...and always in an abusive, condescending, terse way. I see how she treats my daughter and how it effects her. No conversation I have with my daughter goes on without being interrupted numerous times. Every problem my daughter has that I respond to with listening, gets intruded upon with harsh discipline and being talked down too in a condescending way by my mother. My system of using 'time-outs' has been totally overrun and if I happen to put my daughter in timeout myself, my mother stands outside the time-out area and preaches to my daughter how worthless she is.
I have had a girl friend for nearly two years now, and recently after meeting her for about 10 seconds, my mother forbid me to see her ever again...keep in mind that I am 34 years old. She also says that I am not to talk to her on the phone. She said, "You have made mistakes in the past," referencing my ex-wife, "and this is another one."
I feel powerless, frightened, and my level of depression is starting to become debilitating.
