Dreams anyone?

[Anonymous]

3 weeks  in hospital after fish? At age 8? Is that a traumatic experience or what  . I'm not surprised you steer clear these days. That must have been awful. And you don't even blame the fish.

Yes, it was very traumatic and it wasn't the fish's fault at all.  I had a throat infection that was not treated and became septic.  It caused my kidneys to just about shut down (the infection caused them to become diseased) and so threw my whole "system" out.  I had been losing fish from both ends for a couple of days before I was taken to the doc, who immediately hospitalized me.

Back then they used huge syringes full of antibiotics?--to treat me.  I remember that nurse coming in, 4 times per day, with those huge needles and having them jammed into my thigh!  (I can stil feel the pain of it if I think about it--so it must have been very traumatic for me).  I dreaded those needles!!

The worst was not the lack of food/starvation I was feeling, or the terrible pain from the needles, or even the nasty nurse that brought my tray of "food" and snarled:  "You better eat it all this time!!" each time (or something similar).  The worst part of it all, I think, was the lonliness and the boredom.  Nothing to do.  All alone (or I felt that way because my room mate, had her own little tv hanging from an arm--off the wall-- but turned it away from my bed or pulled her curtains closed--so I couldn't see it.  I remember that she was really mean.  Wished I at least had a book to look at.

I lived.  Maybe I developed my imagination more fully then (and my stubborness).  I didn't cry when they gave me those needles, I never responded to that nasty nurse, and I didn't eat the "material" on the tray.  When I was finally allowed to eat again....guess what they brought me?

A cold boiled hotdog with no condiments.  It was the best thing I ever tasted in my entire life!!!

Have a great time at the library P.  I love the library.  Go there a lot.  Books are the best!!!

An old, old man I spoke with told me:  "You'll never be lonely as long as you have a good book to read."

What a wise guy eh?

GFN

[Anonymous]

Portia,
I guess I should have kept my big mouth shut for two reasons. Not only did I stupidly hurt October's feelings, you took my dare and I must admit there is something to what you said.

Your dream is telling you that your wife isn’t telepathic.

Well actually she is. About half the time that I come into a room to say something to her she answers me before I even say a word. Its kind of disconcerting.
This part also may or may not seem credble, but in fifteen years we have never really had a fight. I don't even know if we have ever raised our voices with each other. But we do have one or two areas of low grade irritation. One of which is her repeated appeals to me to put things on her list when they are either getting low or gone. I must confess to being quite guilty in this respect.
Could it be I'm not just being a knothead when I don't put things on the list, but actually have a lot of deep seated childhood attachments to Cheerios?
Possibly, but my vote is for the knothead explanation first.

I do however like your suggestions about random acts of kindness.
Think I'll go put a note on the fridge for her.
Thanks Portia.

mudpup

[Anonymous]

Not only did I stupidly hurt October's feelings...

Just for the record, Mud, I believe you when you say you meant only to make fun of yourself with your post.  I don't think you did anything stupid.  You just posted about your dream.

Maybe October read something different/got a different impression and her feelings were hurt.

You've appologized for that happening and taken the blame for it.

My bet is I'm not the only one who sees that.

Now.......if you could just let go of your attachment to Cheerios?  It could be worse, you know.  It could be...........

Count Dracula Cocoa Puffs!!!

or help us all........

Scarios!!!  

GFN

[Anonymous]

Hi October:

Just wanted to say I am thinking about you too and hoping you are doing ok or even better!!

You said you were feeling "vunerable".

I feel naked when I feel vunerable.  Exposed.  Like everyone is looking at my bits and parts.  It's like being in a display case at a giant fair, or in a museum, or something, except no one is placing ribbons on me, only looking for flaws.  I don't like that feeling very much.

It's good that you are able to recognize that you are feeling that way and speak up for yourself.  That's a really good thing.  At least you're not paralyzed and speachless!!!  Or terrified or numb!!!

Let us know how you are doing, if you can please?

 ((((((((October))))))))

GFN

[Anonymous]

Hi GFN,

Thanks for your comments.
I meant it was stupid in that I made a kind of pointless wise crack that I should have seen could be taken differently than I meant it.

I sometimes do the same thing to my perfect little wifey. I'll say something that I intend to be self deprecating and she will think I mean it toward her.   This usually leads to not so random acts of love and kindness.

What you claim to do, although I've never actually seen it, I really do. That is frequently put my clod hoppers in my mouth. And they are relatively large, while my mouth is only regulation size= tight fit, hard to remove.
   

What the heck is a Scario?

mudpup

[Stormchild]

Aww, ((((((((((October)))))))))), aww, ((((((((((mud))))))))))

October, I know so well what it's like to feel slighted and hurt, even here where it's so safe and where nobody means to slight or hurt me ever.

Mud, I know what it's like to say something in fun and then realize you've just wounded someone very kind and well-meaning and never meant to in the world.

This truly is a safe place... I've looked at so many boards and chat groups, and I've never seen a place like this, where people really deeply respect each other and don't want to hurt each other and feel awful when it happens. But even a safe place doesn't always feel safe. The difference is that when we feel hurt here we can say so, and instead of snarling at us and telling us to get over it, people stop and listen and care.

October, we love you and we don't want you to hurt. Mud, this board wouldn't be the same without you either, which is guy-talk for the same thing I just told October, if my 'guy phrasebook' is still up to date.

[Stormchild]

This one is really something. I have to tell you about the falling asleep part before the dream, because it's important, the boundary between dream and waking was absolutely imperceptible. This dream happened to me two years ago.

I was living in an apartment building in which I felt very frustrated (noisy neighbors, poor maintenance) and increasingly unhappy (noisy neighbors, poor maintenence) and was really apprehensive and upset about having to move again (retaliatory 40% rent increase because I complained about the poor maintenance).

I was trying to get to sleep, and feeling very frightened. So, I visualized the Holy Family keeping vigil over me. I'm not sure why I visualized them instead of angels, but I did.

I drifted into sleep with a very clear sense that they were really there and that I was really safe. All of a sudden, the roof disappeared. And Death - skeletal, austere, in full Grim Reaper regalia - reached down, picked me up, and lifted me up to where he was standing in midair on exactly nothing (it must be nice to be a Jungian archetype and get those perks). With his hands on my shoulders, he looked directly into my eyes (don't ask how I could tell, I have no idea) and asked permission to kiss me. My nightgown (whidh happened to be white) fluttered around my calves in the breeze, and I could see the lights below our feet, tops of trees, cars, etc.

Instead of being utterly terrified, I felt utterly loved, and sensed that this was the most important decision I had ever been asked to make. [added on edit: I did ask if kissing him meant that I would die, because I didn't want to leave my cats (!) and he said, no, I wouldn't die. His voice was very quiet and a little sad when he said that, since of course he could understand my fear.]

So I said, yes. And he very gently pressed cool teeth to my lips. So help me, I could feel the coolness, feel the ridges of those teeth, and there was nothing revolting in it at all. He smelt of glaciers and pine.

Then he stepped back, and before my eyes was transformed into the most handsome man I have ever seen, dressed like a knight errant, in the Ephesians armor, with the helmet slung back behind. He took my hands in his and wept; and I found myself gowned in brilliant yellow, crowned with a wreath of beautiful yellow daylilies, and standing with him in a stately garden, just at daybreak, with Christ himself there to administer our wedding vows, and Joseph and Mary to witness.

I woke up feeling utterly, truly, completely and fully loved. Not an ounce of fear, not a second of premonition. Just love. [added on edit: And loving back. As though someone real had in fact truly become the dearest part of my life!]

OK - I really want to know what this means. It is full of Jungian symbolism, but I don't know enough to fully interpret it. Am I not merely making peace with my mortality, but embracing it, and thus wedding myself to immortality?

Please, let me know what you all think. When I am really discouraged, I remember this dream and it gives me the strength to go on.

[Anonymous]

Hi Stormy,

I hope you'll understand if I don't say much except, cool dream.

I know some Henny Youngman material but not too much Jungian stuff.

Wasn't Jung the guy the Steelers took after the Packers drafted that Freud washout?

mud

[d'smom]

Hi and good morning all.

Longtire, what colour were the tunnels? They were spongy? Sounds to me like you’re getting ready for a re-birth. Into the light, only this time, you’re in control. And you’re re-birthing from the maze of your brain, not the, er,   usual parts of anatomy. Wonderful dream!

i love this one too. very good imagery longtire!

What do Cheerios represent and are they that important? Or would you rather say, “I’m having a tough time in my head right now, I’m remembering some stuff about my childhood and, well, I need a bit of extra love please.

maybe he would like to be 'cheered up'  

[Stormchild Guesting]

Freud so, mud. Actually, they got Jung - and - Foolish...! They wanted Jung and Impressionable, but Impressionable ended up with the Colts.

[mudpuppy]

Thanks Stormy, I needed that.

maybe he would like to be 'cheered up'

Yes Anna I would. Thanks to you and Stormy I am a little.

mud

Back to my watery lair.

[Stormchild]

fish for breakfast, oh yuk...

Oh now, we really do have transatlantic crossed wires, P. I eat kippers for breakfast sometimes! Learned to love them in Yurp (as we call it in the States) and now I eat them for the omega-3 fatty acids... as well as for love.

but I should also confess that it takes me about 2 hours to get hungry in the morning, so I get up and potchky around for a couple hours, then eat my kippers. or whatever. So it probably isn't really 'breakfast' by then.

Also got into grilling tomatoes. Mmmmm.

[d'smom]

I was trying to get to sleep, and feeling very frightened. So, I visualized the Holy Family keeping vigil over me. I'm not sure why I visualized them instead of angels, but I did.

I drifted into sleep with a very clear sense that they were really there and that I was really safe. All of a sudden, the roof disappeared. ........

I woke up feeling utterly, truly, completely and fully loved. Not an ounce of fear, not a second of premonition. Just love. [added on edit: And loving back. As though someone real had in fact truly become the dearest part of my life!]

OK - I really want to know what this means. It is full of Jungian symbolism, but I don't know enough to fully interpret it. Am I not merely making peace with my mortality, but embracing it, and thus wedding myself to immortality?

Please, let me know what you all think. When I am really discouraged, I remember this dream and it gives me the strength to go on.

boy i miss a lot here when im gone a couple days..... i want to say i hope october is feeling better...... ((october))


now stormchild! yow. that dream, fits into what i would call the Epic Dream category! ive had dreams like that, to me they are Epic Dreams. technicolor stuff.

one time i was camping in my car and dreamed that the roof of the car came off and i could see all these images swirling in the sky above me. I could see all the wars that have been fought throughout history and all the human drama and the millions of lives lost and death and blood and stuff, shining in between this huge vault of stars. it was amazing.

now your dream.... i just dont know what it means, except what you said. i like jungian stuff usually myself and relate to archetypal things. dreams that powerful, are so intensely personal that they are beyond interpretation sometimes, just the feelings are enough..... i think that was a realy cool dream and what you said about it was probably about right....

some dreams are 'beyond' even regular interpretation......they are almost visions.. that was a very cool one.......
take care, anna

oh and i saw you talking about green tea on another thread with longtire. you know i drink green tea, but decaf. i didnt know it had in it whatever you said that it did. so thanks :}
cya

[d's mom]

The worst part of it all, I think, was the lonliness and the boredom.  Nothing to do.  All alone (or I felt that way because my room mate, had her own little tv hanging from an arm--off the wall-- but turned it away from my bed or pulled her curtains closed--so I couldn't see it.  I remember that she was really mean.  Wished I at least had a book to look at.

hi gfn. poopy roommate! and no books???? what were they thinking?! books were my lifeline as a kid.

I lived.  Maybe I developed my imagination more fully then (and my stubborness)...

An old, old man I spoke with told me:  "You'll never be lonely as long as you have a good book to read."

im glad you pulled thru stronger and never ate your 'material'. go gfn!
anna

[Anonymous]

Hiya Stormy:

Am I not merely making peace with my mortality, but embracing it, and thus wedding myself to immortality?

I really hope October will come back here soon and interpret this one because I really think she will do a great job.

As for my ideas......hummmmmmm.  You were very frustrated and upset, feeling unsafe, etc as you fell asleep, so you envisioned the Holy family to feel safe.  Then, you meet cold, scarey death and kiss him, only after he says you won't die.  He turns into Mr. Right and you marry him with Christ's blessing, and Mary and Joseph as witnesses.

First.....since you envisioned the Holy family for relief, it makes sense that it was provided through this dream.  I think you are quite right that it will always bring you strength to think of it.

Second....you don't sound as if you were afraid of death at all.  Yet you believed Mr. Death himself.  Odd??  You trusted his word.. while feeling his cold teeth.  Not an easy accomplishment, so this makes me think that you are drawing your strength from your belief...from within.  It wasn't planted there by this dream.  It was drawn upon because you needed it.

Third......You Mr. Death turns into Mr. Right.  Ok....you have even weirder dreams than I do...sometimes.   I can't even make sense of this part.

Last.....the Holy family attend your wedding to Mr. Right (who was Mr. Death).  They are both the same.    Now I get it!  And your everlasting life will be happily ever after, and there is nothing to fear because look who will be there to celebrate with you!!

If you ever were afraid of death, I bet you aren't now.  But I think you are at peace with your immortality.  Your mortality is still the same.  You still get scared.  You still have doubts. You still feel alone and lost and very human.  But all you have to do is recall this lovely dream and you feel much, much better!
Only you know if this is anywhere near feeling close....I'm just guessing.

This dream is a gift, imo.

Anna:  That dream about the roof coming off the car.  It seems like part of you came off and you saw all the wars and stuff way above you, in the stars, swirling.  You say it was amazing.  Wow!!!  Was that before or after all this stuff happened re. your daughter?

Thankyou for your thoughts about my hospital stay.  That room mate was really poopy, as you say.  I remember some of the things she said to me (the few times she did speak to me), and they were really cruel.  Thank goodness she went home soon enough and I had the room to myself.  Although, I remember wishing a nice kid would be put in that bed, but it didn't happen.  Just as well.  I didn't really want a nice kid to be sick and in hospital.

Mudpup:  (((((((Mudpup))))))

Ok....you might look ok in fishnets and wonderstuff....and oh...by the way...

You may think you have feet in mouth disease like me but you will never...never....catch up!!  I got cereal mixed up with pasta.  Scarios are little canned pasta thingys, made by Heinz (like Zoodles).  In tomato sauce.  So they aren't nearly as scarey as Count Dracula Chocoa Puffs because no one in their right mind would eat them for breakfast.  

No one cannot say everything perfectly Mud, it's impossible.  Your sense of humour is a joy, so don't quit making wacky remarks.  I'm sure you make up for any misunderstandings with plenty of random kind acts of sincere love.  So far from what I see you do.  And I read your words about "sometimes when I look at my wife..." and I wanted to post how beautiful that is and how blessed you are to have found someone you feel so much emotion for.  That is about as wonderful as life gets!!  But I remembered what you had said about not hijacking important threads where people might be looking for their teeth so I restrained myself, for once.

Thankyou Muddy.  You are a sweet soul who thinks of others as much as humanly possible without being perfect.   Just as humbling as an hero I can think of.  It may sound like a fish story but it's not.   I hope you're feeling cheerier by now.

Speaking of which.....Portia, Stormy.  I must say I would rather try to eat marmite on toast than fish for breakfast.  But that's just me.  

GFN