Dreams anyone?

[October]

My opinion:  Go ahead and post it.....if you feel like it.  Maybe leave out some of the gorey details but do speak about it, if you want to.   Maybe all you need is a kind word and a hug???  ((((person who had nightmare)))).  Sorry you had a bad dream.

GFN

Tried, but can't be done.  But thanks, anyway.

[Bliz]

Re: Trump. Ever since I saw him on Saturday Night Live last year I have new respect for the men, even if his hair stinks.  He was so hilarious poking fun at himself and that chicken restaurant scene was a classic.

Did anybody see him with the cast dressed in chicken suits?  He was actually kind of dancing to a horrible song about Trumps "chicken wings", I think.  Hey, if you can laugh loudest at yourself, I am on your team.

[d's mom]

Re: Trump. Ever since I saw him on Saturday Night Live last year I have new respect for the men, even if his hair stinks.  He was so hilarious poking fun at himself and that chicken restaurant scene was a classic.

Did anybody see him with the cast dressed in chicken suits?  He was actually kind of dancing to a horrible song about Trumps "chicken wings", I think.  Hey, if you can laugh loudest at yourself, I am on your team.

YES!!!!! that was so hilarious i taped it.

[Anonymous]

Actually I gained some respect for him with that visa commercial where he dives into the dumpster to save his credit card. Now if it had actually been him diving in, he really would have gained some respect.

I guess the marmoset kept jumping off so they needed a double.

mud

[d's mom]

Hey again!

...it was interesting for him to refer to the crumbs as 'unresolved issues', specially after what weve all been talking about.

Hi Anna:

Maybe your father treats your feelings, wishes, concerns, desires, etc.. like little crumbs?  Does you feel like you have to perform like a circus clown to get the tiniest (crumb) request? For you.....it's paramount to spend time/talk with your child.....to him....the issue is a small crumb...not a concern...in his mind?  If you feel hurt, angry, frustrated, etc....these are just small/almost non-existant and unimportant crumbs to him??

hi gfn... sorry you had unpleasant dreams too, the chinchilla was much better, but i do think dreams are a way for this stuff to come up and out. YES your feelings are important! definitely.. you dont describe your specifics but yes yes yes yes yes. for sure!  <<<(((((((GFN)))))))>>> yes! always.

I think you are right on about this 'crumb' thing.  its precisly how he is, toward anyone elses feelings, desires, wishes, needs. TOTALLY like a tiny little insignificant nonexistent crumb.  *exactly*.  an annoyance, a distraction, a peeve, an irritation, certainly not anything worth paying the =slightest= attention to. just a little tiny irritation in the way of his god-like omnipresence. <<<<SARCASM>>>>

also he thinks he can get anything with money. i cant tell you how many people (and lawyers) have told me this never would have happened, if it werent for how rich he is. i cant stand it that my poor little girl is having to go through what she is only becuase of dirty, evil MONEY.

didnt mean to single you out as 'brilliant' :>> perhaps it would be better to say, that of all the truly crappy therapy ive had in the past 3 years, you have helped me more in three days than all of that put together? would you accept that ? its true. you would think -one- of those therapists would have thought to explain about anger being a secondary emotion.....or....something.....

honestly, being retraumatised by crappy therapy is a big reason im defensive...... sigh..... people supposedly who know what they are doing just muddling things up and making it worse, and then acting as if there is soemthing wrong with *me* becuase im still 'daring' to continue to not feel well.  again, i dont have the 'money' to afford actual quality therapy.... it always comes down to money which is hugely depressing.  

also you were not hallucinating, one of the people with nightmares was me, i want to talk about it but its such difficult imagery that really it needs to be censored.

but its a big part of what upset me. its extremely upsetting to see these images over and over in dreams, and have nobody listen.

thank you for your thoughts. hope things get better in your own dreams again.
anna

[d's mom]

Good questions portia, I wish I could answer them all.
There are four of us siblings so maybe that is relevant.
It seems like my sister was pretty scared by the lightning and so was I as it was bigger and closer than anything I have experienced in real life and each one came right on the heels of the other.
I do remember a feeling of relief when i could see the blue sky appear.
Then my daughter was just there and I woke up.
My daughter kind of reminds me of my sister at that age so I'm sure that plays into it as well.

mudpuppy

maybe the storm represents family conflict and that you dont like it and would feel very relieved if it would  'pass over' and go away.

[Portia]

Mud, your dream has been playing around in my head. I like the idea that the four strikes are you kids. Not sure if that’s what it is, but I like the imagery anyway.

Now keeping in mind that my mom has sided with my brother during our conflict while my little sister has, I think, pretty much tried to duck the whole thing, tell me oh wise ones, what does it all mean?

Sorry I haven’t been reading all threads of late so I don’t know if you talked about this elsewhere. If you have, ignore this. But anyway, maybe somehow you feel responsible for your sister. Maybe your head is telling you to talk to her a little more about what’s been happening now?

Maybe not. Maybe it’s saying you can’t protect your sister (and shouldn’t, she’s an adult, has to find her own way etc and not your responsibility) BUT you can protect and should protect your daughter? And maybe you are doing just that? And recognising who the important people are in your family – i.e. your chosen family, not those who you just happened to be born with – are the blue sky ahead? The over-riding feeling seems to be that everything is going to be okay. I hope so. Some kind of peace and reconciliation within yourself. Is that so?

Had any more dreams I can ponder about? I just found some time I didn't know I would have.

[Anonymous]

Hi Portia and Anna,
Thanks for responding.
I also have been going over the dream and the best I can come up with, and I think its pretty close to the mark, is that the four lightning bolts are probably my mom and my three sibs. And as the last bolt struck my little sis was gone, replaced by my daughter. My little sis was the one i have always had the most affection for and the one who I think knows best what a crock all the garbage my brother has thrown. Even so, she still never calls, gives me no support. I guess I think the storm represents the feeling that I don't know if anything will ever be the same, even with her, when everything blows over.
I am having the feeling lately that I have suppressed a lot of the pain of what is really a very recent disiilusionment of what my family is, or was. Stormchild kind of cracked it open with a slight comment a few days ago. Not sure I want to take the lid off.

mud

[P]

(((((((((Mud)))))))))

Signed out but back again. Fear not. Your unconscious will call the shots. If it wants it out, it'll let you know. If not, it'll wait til you're ready. I think you can't push the brain, when it's ready, it does stuff. When it does stuff, try to remain detached and see if you can observe what it's doing. Not easy but it kind of makes you see the possibilities for changing the way you think. I've found that anyway.

Sadness is hard to bear. Anger is frightening, grief hurts. But it's all for self-awareness, a closer look at reality. And what doesn't kill you does make you stronger eventually.

The board is here for you (and me, and everyone else). Thinking of you, Portia

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the (((())))s P. You're a real pal.

mud

[Anonymous]

I guess I think the storm represents the feeling that I don't know if anything will ever be the same, even with her, when everything blows over.
I am having the feeling lately that I have suppressed a lot of the pain of what is really a very recent disiilusionment of what my family is, or was.

Hey Mud:

As painful as this is, it is probably a good thing.  I mean....this dream is bringing stuff to the surface...that maybe needs to get there, in order to get out and be gone.

It hurts to suffer such losses and I'm so sorry that this has happened.  It is something that must be grieved or the repression of it will cook into other, worse thingys, maybe?

Big hug from me too, Mud.  (((((((((Mudpuppy))))))))

GFN

PS:  There is absolutely no way I am willing to picture you with fish net anythings or any type of wonderous brazierre!  I'd rather see steam escaping from your big floppy ears and the rest covered in mud.  Much comfort from that vision.  As a matter of fact, the next time I'm faced with some twit who wants to hurt me with their stupid words, I'm going to draw that one up and pretend you're standing there behind me, puffing smoke and ready to fling mud pies!!

[October]

I'm standing (as an adult) in my mom's house looking out of her picture windows and there's a large thunderstorm approaching. My little sister, as a kid, is jabbering about something in the corner of the room. I think I understood her in the dream but not now.
Anyway, the thunderstorm comes crashing on the house with four huge bolts of lightning and deafening thunder and then just as quickly passes. I see nothing but blue sky to the west, and simultaneously my little sister has morphed into my own daughter. The end.

Missed this one and had to go back for it.  Hmmm.  Lightning.  

Well, first of all, someone standing inside a house looking out indicates that they want to go outside.  That part is easy.  You are in your mother's house (which may represent her life) and you want to escape.  

However, while you are looking for the way out, you see thunder coming.  Which indicates that however much you may want to leave, you do not think it is safe to do so, at least for the moment.  This may reflect an accurate picture of your childhood situation.  So you stay, and you are right, because lightning soon follows.  And strangely, the lightning which proverbially never strikes the same place twice actually strikes four times in your dream.  I think this is saying that this is no coincidence; there is something which is going on which cannot be put down to chance, or luck or random chance.  Something is following a pattern, and there are four, as you say.  Perhaps four people, or four events.  Four of something.  

Meanwhile your mother's house/your mother is acting as a lightning conductor, and bringing an electrical storm down on anyone involved with her.  This is a very powerful image of the destructive force she has.

Your sister is a child in your dream, so I think maybe you are both child and adult - the roles are often confused for children of Ns.  

Then, later,  the storm has passed, which is telling you that it is now safe to leave the house.  More than that, there is blue sky to the west, so it even knows which way you need to go; west!!!  And it reminds you to take your daughter with you.      Maybe it is also rather sad; you cannot save your sister, but you can save your daughter.

So perhaps not such a short dream after all.  

[October]

I also have been going over the dream and the best I can come up with, and I think its pretty close to the mark, is that the four lightning bolts are probably my mom and my three sibs.
I am having the feeling lately that I have suppressed a lot of the pain of what is really a very recent disiilusionment of what my family is, or was. Stormchild kind of cracked it open with a slight comment a few days ago. Not sure I want to take the lid off.

mud

I don't think it is your mum and siblings, muddy dear.  I think it is about you and your siblings; your dreams are going to be about you, firstly, and others next.  Funny how we think that our dreams are about everyone else in the world except us.  

Imo, your mum is there as the house, within which you are contained or trapped.

I understand your comments about disillusionment.  (((((hugs)))))

[Brigid]

Hi All,
I had a very disturbing dream last night that I debated sharing as it is not very nice, but I thought it might help to unload it here.  I dreamt that I walked into my bedroom and was carrying a tray to put on the bedside table.  The bedframe was very high and I needed to walk around the back of the headboard to reach the table.  I couldn't see the bed until I got around the headboard and there was my H masturbating himself to an orgasm.  He was laughing as he told me what he was doing, then started moaning (well, you get the idea).  On the one hand I was disgusted and on the other disinterested.  I walked out of the bedroom and encountered my daughter who was about to walk into the room.  I begged her not to go in and then I woke up.

I know the masturbation was in my mind because I was sharing some of that information on another thread shortly before I went to bed last night.  I've always wondered since he admitted this behavior to me 20 months ago, why it was I never caught him in the act.

I woke up very creeped out and feeling dirty.  I guess that is what the whole experience has made me feel like.  Sorry if I upset anyone with this.
   

Brigid

[Anonymous]

Hi October,

Your sister is a child in your dream, so I think maybe you are both child and adult - the roles are often confused for children of Ns.

Well my mom isn't an N. She may be codependent with my brother or simply under his influence, I'm not sure but she is definitely not an N.
I had a good childhood. No desire to escape it.

I don't think it is your mum and siblings, muddy dear. I think it is about you and your siblings; your dreams are going to be about you, firstly, and others next. Funny how we think that our dreams are about everyone else in the world except us.  

But I am there, standing in the house. There is a powerful sensation of something passing by as the storm quickly blows by. Thats why I think the lightning is my sibs and mom. They have passed by, either by active aggression or passive abandonment. And whats left is my daughter (and presumably wife as well. )

Either that or I had a bad enchilada the night before.

Brigid,
What a pig. The creep can't even stay out of your dreams.
I'm sorry such a sweety married someone so beneath her. What a loser.
(((((Brigid)))))

mud