Arnold S. (the CA Govenor) is this N behavior?

[OR]

Today I was watching Oprha. Maria and her mother were guest talking about their relationship.

Maria, was asked about her and Arnolds parenting methods..

1. The kids don't have maids. Maria, gets called daily about the clothes.

He calls to tell her if the clothes are not Ironed, and put away, he will not let the kids have play time. Don't get me wrong chores are good and I'm happy his kids will have some disipline.

He hides the clothes, any shoes that aren't put away, the daughter said he throws them in the fire, or she will find items hidden high up in cabnets or behind the food in the cabnets. He won't tell them they will just be gone.
If the lights are not turnned off he will unscrew the bulbs. He wants them to be aware of the energy shortage.  The house is dark and Maria said she likes the light but if you walk out of a room the bulbs get unscrewed.

She said he calls daily and is checking on the kids and if they have left any of their things out they have been warned.

Is this an N trait ? Maybe I should have some of these skills to get my D to pick up more often.

OR

[write]

and excessive to me.

But then: many americans seems to think it is important to instill compulsive traits in their kids!

Whether it's n? Don't know. It's certainly controlling.

[mum]

Anybody who plays head games with his children is not teaching them anything other than that he's a mean SOB and that fear should be a way of life.  Yes, very very N, and very very much like my children's father! (can you tell this hit a nerve?)
 Chilling to admit this on national television and even worse, have everyone say: "oh, how very responsible his children will be"....responsible my ars!!!   Obsessive, fearful, controlling and sick, maybe.  
Did they also call this crap "LOVE"?  That's a favorite line too:  "but they don't doubt we love them!!!"  Well, if they did doubt it they would be too scared to tell you, or worse yet, you have screwed up thier definition of love ( as in love equals control!) for generations to come!
Great legacy!  Right up an N's alley!!

[vunil]

Weird!  On one of these threads (can't remember which one) a bunch of us were sharing about our crazy parents who would hide our stuff.  My parents did that and I would be frantic.  When I asked them where my shoes (or whatever) were they would lie and say they didn't know.  Then finally when I was going to miss the school bus and was beside myself (at the age of 7 or whatever) they would reveal they had my shoes and I had to pay to get them back, whatever my weekly allowance was.  Or, later it was however much money I had made babysitting that week.  This was if I left something where it "didn't belong" (which I realize now was utterly arbitrary-- who is to say that shoes don't go by the front door?).


My parents were crazy-N and very cruel.  I think Arnold is, too.  I'm betting this is not the only controlling weird thing he does.

[vunil]

PS  it will be very funny when the kids write their tell-all book.  "I'll be back (to hurt you some more): Tales of a Childhood of Fear and Anger."

Of course Oprah will have them on, too, and be very sympathetic even though she didn't say a word to Maria about it when it might have helped the kids.  I really wish she would get her backbone back (she used to be much more feisty) and would really call celebrities on stuff like this when they say it.

[Anonymous]

I am hesitant to label this as N-behavoir.  Arnold grew up in Austria.  My Swiss ex mother-in-law did the same things with my ex N husband when he was a child.  She was obsessed with cleanliness and perfect order.  

What I am saying is that a great deal of this behavior is cultural.

[Anonymous]

I am hesitant to label this as N-behavoir.  Arnold grew up in Austria.  My Swiss ex mother-in-law did the same things with my ex N husband when he was a child.  She was obsessed with cleanliness and perfect order.  

What I am saying is that a great deal of this behavior is cultural.

But humans are humans the world over... we bleed, bear children, eat and sleep.

If cultural differences explained this away, then would either Freud (an Austrian Jew) or Jung (a Swiss gentile) have had any relevance in the States.... ??

In this country, beating wives and children was cultural 30 years ago... and still is, some places... but it's still assault and battery.

Infanticide by exposure was cultural in Ancient Greece; FGM is cultural today, in some parts of Africa... the model Waris Dirie wrote a harrowing book about it, about her personal experience with it.

I've lived internationally for years and I love cultural differences, when they're benign. They're part of the rich texture of human living.

And I'm truly not trying to stomp on you, Guest, I'm just trying to extend the thought... that some things are part of human variety and should be celebrated as such, but not all things. Some traditions are bad.

[Anonymous]

Could it be OCD?

Mia

[Brigid]

OR,
I was watching that interview yesterday too and wondering why the governor of the largest state in the union would need to concern himself with laundry.  Maria made light of it and turned into a joke, but there is something pretty weird about it.  I also felt sorry for the kids when I heard of his treatment of their things.  It must be hard enough to be the children of such famous and powerful people without all the additional head games being played.  I would admire their efforts to teach their children responsibility, but this is over the top and there will no doubt be a book written by one of their children some day (not to mention thousands in therapy bills).  

I don't know if this could be considered N behavior or if it based on cultural differences, but I think Maria needs to step in and moderate.  From everything I have heard her say in other interviews, it sounded like her childhood was very loving and her parents very supportive of whatever she did.  It sounds like Arnold is spending too much time making sure the kids follow the rules rather than being supportive and loving and just letting them be kids.  I feel sorry for those kids.

Brigid

[Jaded911]

I tend to agree with Mia's thought.  It sounds to me like he is OCD but on the other hand it sounds to me that he is a prick.  I have seen many things on the guy.  I watched his biography one night and I was appauled by some of his behaviors.  LOL...he doesnt have control over his own actions so I wonder how the heck he is going to control his kids.

[OR]

Mum, I  was thinking of your story when I heard this.

Anybody who plays head games with his children is not teaching them anything other than that he's a mean SOB and that fear should be a way of life. Yes, very very N, and very very much like my children's father! (can you tell this hit a nerve?)

Vunil,
Maria's mother had no comment, and Ophra was lacking not to say something about the excessiveness.

My parents were crazy-N and very cruel. I think Arnold is, too. I'm betting this is not the only controlling weird thing he does.

Brigid, I'm glad you saw this; I didn't see the whole show.

I think her making light of this may be the MO of the N spouse.
How many times I would make light of something to keep the peace.

Maria made light of it and turned into a joke, but there is something pretty weird about it.

Jade911, Mia.

He was obsessive with his body building, maybe he does have OCD.

I tend to agree with Mia's thought. It sounds to me like he is OCD

Guest: I think this rings true.

If cultural differences explained this away, then would either Freud (an Austrian Jew) or Jung (a Swiss gentile) have had any relevance in the States.... ??

Thanks for your thoughs on this, I'm thinking if he gets obsessed about the right goals in CA, he could make good things happen. For now keeping the clothes picked up is his priority, in the mean time CA home prices are out of control, most people can't afford a place to hang their hats.

OR

[vunil]

it sounds to me that he is a prick.

A very cogent psychological observation!

Maria seems cool.  It would be interesting to know how she ended up with him.  It is true that the men in her family have tended to be N to the utmost degree, and the women enable it.  So maybe it's what she knows.

Not to armchair psychologize or anything...

[bunny]

I think it's universally agreed that Schwarzenegger is a narcissist. He ran for governor as a movie-star and wants to run for president even though he's not allowed to. He wants the rules changed to permit it. I don't really care if foreign-born people become US Presidents, but it shows his sense of entitlement. As to his child-rearing I also feel it is probably an Austrian thing (explanation not an excuse). But Maria Schriver is the mom and she's submitting to it. So she's half of the problem.

bunny