What is the complete OPPOSITE of narcissism?

[Mollie]

I have bipolar disorder, type 1 (classic and most pronounced). I have a friend that meets all the symptoms for Narcissitic Personality Disorder. I know that bipolar is not classified as a personality disorder, as is narcissism. My question is, within the realm of personality disorders, what would be the "photo negative image" of narcissism? I ask, because I am the exact OPPOSITE of my friend, and would like to know what the name for this is, besides bipolar. (Yes, I'm on medication).

Any information appreciated. Thanks!
Mollie

[Jaded911]

I think the opposite of Narcisistic is.................HUMAN.

[vunil]

The personality disorders all have a lot in common with each other-- the only thing they are opposite of is healthy and functional

Actually, there aren't that many personality disorders, so you could just look online to see what they are.  They are narcissistic, histrionic, avoidant, and borderline.  Probably, if you are trying to figure out which one you are, you aren't one!

Maybe what you are asking is what disorder makes a person insecure.  Lots of things make people insecure, and it doesn't mean you have a personality disorder.  It just means something injured you along the way.

If you want, could you give more of a sense of what's worrying you?  What gives you the sensation of being opposite of a narcissist?

[Anonymous]

My question is, within the realm of personality disorders, what would be the "photo negative image" of narcissism?

There are no personality disorders that are the opposite of narcissism. However it is very common for narcissist personalities and borderline personalities to end up together as couples, friends, etc. But they aren't the opposites. They are complementary in some ways and that's why they are compatible with each other.

bunny

[Anonymous]

The dictionary definition of narcissism is "self-love".  So the precise opposite must be "self-hate".  I personally believe that the term "narcissism" has been used to define persons who have such controlled and regulated behavior due to their own neurosis, that they have no ability to respond to the needs of others.  These are just my simplistic thoughts.

[write]

rapid cycling.

Which I manage with a regime of self-care( exercise, diet, avoiding stress & maintaining a sleep pattern are most important ) therapy, support people ( who take over if I get out of control and need medication ) and enjoying the wonderful creative by-products of this devastating illness.

I see no relationship between personality disorder and bipolar, the latter I would define as a chemical imbalance, the former is a chronic unhealthy pattern of behaviour in relationships.

As you will know- when a manic or depressive episode springs up most often relaxation or other behavioural techniques are ineffective: it is the chemical imbalance which needs addressing.

Whilst a narcissist usually benefits from a/ds there is no way to address their problem except unravelling a pattern of relating, dealing with the emotions, and rebuilding self.

[BG]

Hi -

I also can't quite say what the opposite of NPD might be, but did once read a great article that described personality disorders generally, in comparsion to more specific mental illness diagnoses.  

The metaphor used was how fat appears in piece of meat (as I write it, I realize its not appetizing, but I think it conveys the idea):  with a straight mental illness (of all sorts), its comparable to the outer layer of fat that may need to be trimmed off, etc. but the underlying core (or personality) is in pretty good shape.  With a PD, the fat is marbled throughout -- the personality is intermixed with the disorder, and it is not straightforward to fix.

In otherwords, even severe MI, once treated partially or completely, may liberate a fairly well adjusted person within.  PD on the otherhand may never even get to the point of treatment, since the person may not even consider their condition to be a problem, and the the separation of problem/person may not be possible with conventional MI treatments such as medicine or therapy.

I was first intrigued by this article since I was suffering from major depression and had a sibling with schizophrenia...yet was fairly certain my father had some undiagonosed disorder...and only in couple years after that did I really understand that it was my N-mother who likely has the major personality disorder.   And I consider her condition to be much more intractable than the worst I've seen in my brother's major MI.  In otherwords, despite his occasional delusions/symptoms, he manifests what we'd all consider 'good' human qualities.  With my N-mother, I rely on faith there is good in there somewhere, but it is really hard to see as it is interwoven with genuinely bad actions.

BG

[Anonymous]

I think some of the problems the victims of Ns have is precsely because we conciously or unconciously try to be exactly the opposite of Narcissistic.
Some of us go overboard being nice and kind and never saying no and always raising our hand and never giving offense and saying please and thank you for things that are ours by right. The opposite of not caring about anyone or anything but ourselves is not caring about ourselves at all and only trying to please others. That's a whole lot better than NPD but it isn't very healthy. And it is something I have had to unlearn, am still unlearning.

mudpuppy

[October]

My question is, within the realm of personality disorders, what would be the "photo negative image" of narcissism? I ask, because I am the exact OPPOSITE of my friend, and would like to know what the name for this is, besides bipolar. (Yes, I'm on medication).

Hiya Molly

The problem with opposites is that many people tend to think that concepts such as love and hate: hot and cold are opposites.  This is not in fact true, any more than a banana is the opposite of an apple.

The opposite of love is absence of love.  The opposite of hate is absence of hate.  The opposite of racism is absence of racism.  

So, from this point of view, the opposite of Narcissistic behaviour is absence of Narcissistic behaviour.  We all have N tendencies at times, and this can be healthy.  The difference between healthy N behaviour and unhealthy NPD behaviour is the ability to choose; to decide what is appropriate to the context and the people involved.

So, I would say, the opposite of NPD behaviour is the ability to choose to behave in a way which is indicative of concern for others, and a putting aside of one's own personal agenda, for the sake of other people.   You will never find an NPD who can do this.  They may be able to do a fair imitation, but it will lack authenticity at a fundamental level - it will ring warning bells in your head.  Even when they seem to be talking about you, it will all be about them, really.    

[Anonymous]

Some would say that the opposite of narcissism is codependence.  Narcissists have malignant self-love and no empathy for others, versus codependents who don't love themselves and have too much empathy for others.

BTW, these are the personality disorders listed in the DSM-IV TR: paranoid, schizoid, schizotypal, antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, avoidant, obsessive-compulsive, and dependent.

[vunil as guest]

Oh, I forgot about some of them.  I guess if we wanted to find an opposite for npd, dependent personality disorder might be it.   Reading the description (on medline) sort of suggests that.  If the opposite of a disorder can be a disorder (kind of an interesting philosophical question).



Mollie, are you still around?

[justme]

google search with
narcissism opposites-attract

Most often, Kaslow and Solomon see attractions between people diagnosed with Cluster B (antisocial, borderline, histrionic and narcissistic) and Cluster C (avoidant, dependent and obsessive-compulsive) personality disorders.

Kaslow offers a theory on the attraction between Clusters B and C: "Someone in Cluster B or C will more likely seek a polar opposite they see as exhibiting qualities they lack and assume this will make them feel more complete or whole," she explains. "So, for example, the histrionic is attracted to the OCD perfectionist because of the histrionic's need to be stabilized, and the OCD person is fascinated by the histrionic's devil-may-care attitude. But after a while they start to rub each other the wrong way."

 

now in terms of enneagram types...
most experts like myself agree with type 3 as narcisstic/psychopath
if u beg
i might spin some of my thoughts on such