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Any advice?

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Anonymous:
Bunny,

I wondered that same thing when I read that.  But then I also wondered if she felt she could not talk about her problems because she was felt she was being judged and felt nobody would be sympathetic to her.  Then again maybe she dated a N.  That is enough to make anyone stay in limbo for a while.

Jaded

Anonymous:
Thank you all for your suppost! She's still not quite right, but she's talking more about the present, and taking an interest in things again... she seems to feel a lot of guilt about the meltdown because she thinks she let people down. She was always the type who was always there for everyone, and she REALLY needed a lot of help but everybody was busy with their own lives... :( The more she does talk,  the more it sounds like this girl she lived with was an N: my sister says she was constantly walking on eggshells, she could do nothing right, she was emotionally blackmailed.... Problem is, she's now displaying the same kind of behaviour... I read that somewhere, that N-victims sometimes end up becoming N's themselves! I'll keep trying to get her to stop feeling so bad, and I must say it's nice to see her making the effort again. My total support and admiration to all of you who have survived N's yourselves - you are an example to us all!

sister

bunny:
sister,

What do you think of her seeing a therapist or MD? I think that she may be helped by medication at this point. Your thoughts?

Anonymous:
Both the social & academic stress of college & university can be a trigger that activates dormant disorders (ie. depression, anxiety, other) where there was a predisposition in someone.

It seems as though she never figured out what was going on with her(ie. named it and learned about it), and has never sought help.    

Therapy might also help her work through the feelings of guilt & shame she seems to have around having had a "break-down".

Hopefully there will be someone(yourself?) she is comfortable with enough to hear them out about talking with someone(therapist, counselor) without getting too defensive.

Best of luck.

Anonymous:
Hey there,

She's been to therapy on and off for a few years, but she didn't really get anything out of it she says. Her shrink just let her talk without helping her to make sense of what she'd been through. She says she feels like a headless chicken, just wandering around until she "bumps into" something that makes sense. Seeing her now I think she may be right. She's still trying, but she looks terrible, I think she's drinking (or worse) and she's pretty lost inside herself - sometimes it's like looking at a ghost.  :cry: I wish I could take the person who did this to her and throttle her, but that still won't bring my sister back. Why are some people so awful?

sister

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