I ran across this poem, and it spoke directly to my life. Thought I'd share it here- Delphine
ttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/3685
HE Sang Me a Lullaby
By Lynda
Mommy and Daddy sing me a lullaby
Soothe my aching soul, mend my broken heart
So I can sleep and not cry over your war, No!
Who will sing me a lullaby?
So, in the Fall of my living years
HE descended, loving, powerful, exciting, dangerous
Touching me deeply in an unfamiliar place
And HE sang me a lullaby.
Holding me close in the scary dark night
This man-boy with a voice so soft and sweet
Whispered the long sought sweet refrain
And HE sang me a lullaby.
It was the voice of mommy
It was the voice of daddy
It was the voice of my god
And HE sang me a lullaby.
Young love blossomed, hot and passionate
Captured in his web of safety and love
Needing, yearning to touch his heart, his skin
And HE sang me a lullaby.
We made our home, a castle on the hill
Wedding bells chimed, friends and family
Blessing our home in celebration
And HE sang me a lullaby
Love’s initiation gave way to Life
Where did you go, my love?
Is something wrong?
And HE sang me a lullaby.
We journeyed to distant lands
Riches and fame were ours to share
Adventure, excitement, immersed in it all
And HE sang me a lullaby
Falling asleep in my comfort and safety
Drinking my potion - not daring to look again
Tired of the me-project
And HE sang me a lullaby
His pleasure-Supply assured
Episodes came, hints of rage the sheathing hatred
Standing firm, his victim faced the challenge
And HE sang me a lullaby
Matching wit for wit
Feelings surfaced, dangerous feelings, hidden
Our deep wounds revealed
And HE sang me a lullaby
Exposed! No! Revenge was his
Can’t feel, won’t feel
Punishment is at hand for your knowing
And HE sang me a lullaby
Trusting and unaware of lurking doom
Pretending his game, seeing what was not there
Lulled, woozy with drink in hand
And HE sang me a lullaby
The time drew near for his betrayal
Timing important when the kill is planned
My secrets assured his luscious murder
And HE sang me a lullaby
Our special weekend,
Flashes of light, moments of gold
Stealing my love, my body for his pleasure
And HE sang me a lullaby.
Oh No! Who is this demon?
Waking with me on God’s Sunday?
Where is he, my love, my life, where did he go?
But HE sang me a lullaby?
No! No! No! What is he saying?
I can’t hear him. No. I won’t hear him
I know it’s a dream. I’m asleep.
But HE sang me a lullaby?
What did I do? Let me make it right
Anything but left, alone, thrown away
Me go too? Please?
But HE sang me a lullaby?
The rain was falling, the ancient memory awakened
I am not loveable.
Quietly, quickly, he packed his bags.
But HE sang me a lullaby?
I drank as the terror took hold
Rage and hatred exploded in my body
Drown my pain, Mr. Dewars
But HE sang me a lullaby? God Damn Him!!!!!
Mommy and Daddy where are you? Sing me a lullaby
Soothe my aching soul, mend my broken heart
So I can go to sleep and not cry over this war. NO!
But HE sang me a lullaby, didn’t he?
Another damn lesson, have I not had enough?
Tired, aching with nothing left to give
At last, surrender my only escape
Who will sing me a lullaby?
Into the arms of this anonymous tribe
I bare my soul, my suffering
In my emptiness, my hell, with nothing
And THEY sang me a lullaby.
And now I lay me down to sleep
I pray you Lord my soul please keep
Then, abandoning myself to the Mystery of Life
“He” sang me a lullaby.
h
