Mother's Day

[mudpuppy]

Stormy,

"Hellmark - When you don't care at all, but have to send something to the beast."

You're killin' me. Please stop. I'm getting a stitch in my side.    

I still keep going back to that 'because you're such a pill' post, kicking the tires, looking at it from different angles, wondering; "should I"?
Nah, I can't, but it sure would feel good watching it slide down the mail chute.

Have a good weekend all.

I suggest all the women here make sure they are treated nicely and sweetly this weekend. Even if you have to do it yourself and even if you aren't a mom.
Longtire, you and me are on our own.

mudpup

[Anonymous]

That poem is hilarious! I have to read it to my husband - I am sure he will get a kick out of it

It has been a while since I have posted and I like to come back every once in a while and catch up.  It being Mother's day is a perfect time to remind me how fortunate I am to have my son (16m) and I am also pregnant with #2.  Yesterday, I decided to start a new tradition on Mothers Day.  I went out and bought him a Bond.  I figure that I wouldn't be a mom if it werent for him and I am spending the $$ I would normally spend buying my mom a gift on the real love of my life!

Happy Mothers day to all the good moms out there!!
Angry Girl

[OR]

Stormy, and all others inspired to get the HELLMARK cards in print

I wonder how many other's find looking for that special card  not always so easy. I think there are lots more out there who would like your Idea to be worth lots of money, that would make the N's really mad.  

AGirl, I like your idea to buy your 16m old a bond in the name of Mother's Day, it's a nice thought.

OR

[mum]

wow, don't read a thread for a few days....
Stormy, you poetry rivals Mud's prose.....absolutely hilarious.  Have you seen "bitch wipes" or "wipe away your sins" ....these handiwipe type things exist and are loaded with ironic commentary on the packaging....I think Stormy, you could jump on quite the gravy train here!

I probably shouldn't speak out of turn here, I love my mom, and she did a great job.
But right now, I'm completely unsure as to what to send my mom for mother's day.  I could call (and I will) but she doesn't do well with the phone.  She is not particularly "with us" very often and frankly, no one expects her to hang in there much longer.  She has a million kids, and now mixes us up, and from what I hear, the sheer numbers gets her confused and exhausted (well, that and her terminal condition).  

I think I will send a love letter over email anyway, and my sister can read it to her, if she is consious.  I know my mom had N tendencies, but luckily for all of us, my dad was her balance...so she was pretty much what all of you must have missed in the mommy department.  

I am sorry for all of you who missed out, but it sounds like you are all great people now....so that "bad" influence, is just a nice little lump in your batter....and part of what made you so wonderful, hard as that is to imagine.

Anna: your ability to see what is good in this life amazes me....and it IS what will prevail.  Your daughter knows.....she knows......
Keep our heads down, our focus keen, and keep forging ahead and smelling what flowers we can on this hard road.....

[Serena]

Dear Mother

I would like to thank you for the following:

Most importantly, your 'silent treatment' - I first remember it at age 4 and every juncture in my 41 year old life since then.  Thanks for not talking to me when I was a loving, kind, good and needy child.  Thanks for removing your communication from me when I was a good adult daughter.  Thanks for not talking to me since Christmas because of a 'perceived' slight.

You must be VERY SPECIAL to not talk to a four year old for two weeks.

Thanks for telling me that I had blighted your life, that you wish you had never had me, thanks for telling me every day of my childhood that I was evil, 'twisted' and bad.

Thanks for beating the sh*t out of me when I was nine for talking to my Dad.  He'd driven past our house and I missed him..............  He stopped, we talked.

Thanks for the bamboo, the wooden coat hangers, the fists, the open palmed slaps in the face.
God, I could have dealt with the violence EASILY, but not the psychological torture.

Thanks for nullifying me, especially with your guilt trips.  Thanks for attempting to set myself and my three sisters against each other - incidentally, it didn't work.

Most of all, Thanks for the illusion that we were the perfect middle-class household.  Yes, we were fed, beautifully dressed, sent to piano / dancing / elocution.

Thank you so much and here is a poem I wrote for you:

You hated me the night you conceived me.
You hated me as I lay inside you longing to be born,
To see your face, your smile,
to feel your touch, your love,
and you have hated me ever since.

I loved you, in innocence, while you hated me.
You taught me about your goodness
as you carved the bad on my soul.
My presence pained your being –
my smile, my love, my joy.

You hated me because you hated him.
Time has fed and spread its’ seep.
Oozing, toxic and contagious.
It is all.

Thank you for hating me.
Outcast, outside, empty, bad and dead.
“The wheel has come full circle…”
I dug in the grave of what you’d left
and found an atom of life.
I embraced, nurtured, loved and rejoiced in it
As it grew like a sunny child.

I found my voice in the wilderness of lies,
fought it, feared it yet listened to its’
wistful little whisper.
Then love broke through that small girl with freckles,
And grew with her.

[mum]

Serena, your writing is so beautiful.  Your ability to communicate your struggle and transformation is truly moving.  Thank you.

[Serena]

Serena, your writing is so beautiful.  Your ability to communicate your struggle and transformation is truly moving.  Thank you.

Thank you very much, it's called The Wheel and I wrote it about two years ago.

It resonates with me A LOT.

Incidentally, I love this site, I don't post a lot but I read it every single day of my life.

[Bliz]

I wanted to report a Happy Mothers Day event for a non Mother----me.  Wonder of wonders,  the two older nieces actually went with me to clean up the old river trailer today.  They didnt have to be bribed or nagged.  I dont know  what force of nature got them there but it was great fun and warmed this aunts heart thoroughly.

Maybe I wanted this more for me than Mom. That might be an ah ha!!  Maybe it is just the wonder of teenagers.  They wont go to the Art Museum with me but will clean out a bug and mouse infested 35 year old trailer.  Go figure!!

We started out in the early morning, especially early for teenagers. We drove to the country, stopped at the local truck stop for food and got the job done.  They even wanted to look for arrowheads in the field, which they never want to do.  I let them practice driving my car in the field, too.

It must be my Mother's Day present and I am very thankful for this happy family experience.  Another lesson for me is I tried during the week to let it go and not put pressure on them or their Mom to make this happen.A lessson I could practice more often.  I decided I would go by myself, unresentful, if nobody else wanted to.

[Stormchild Guesting]

Yea Bliz :::::applause:::::

Serena, that is an incredibly moving piece you shared with us. I am glad Serena is your screen name... it speaks of incredibly moving peace, given what you have lived through.

[Serena]

Yea Bliz :::::applause:::::

Serena, that is an incredibly moving piece you shared with us. I am glad Serena is your screen name... it speaks of incredibly moving peace, given what you have lived through.

Serena is not obviously my name, but the one I choose to post here.

I picked it because I am 'at peace' with myself.  This has taken many, many years of therapy to get to the place I am at now.

Thank you for your kindness.

[Bliz]

Thanks Stormchild.
It helps to share a happy experience for a change.

[mudpuppy]

Bliz and Serena,

Wow bliz, sounds like a great mother's day gift for you.
Its really neat when teens can drop the cool 'attitude' for awhile and just enjoy life, huh? Maybe they're growing out of it?
Hope you can keep growing healthy relationships with them and give them another (one?) good role model in their lives.

Serena,
You are a real testament to the power of the human spirit, to grow into that little freckle faced girl, with your own mother trying to destroy you. I hope you might choose to post more. You spin a lyrical threnody (think thats the word) and I'll bet you could really comfort some of the poor souls who have been through the same fire as you, if you used your gift.
Hope you make Mother's day your day.  

mudpup

[Anonymous]

Serena, Your mother is a monster. I'm glad she was unable to destroy that precious little girl/woman.

Bliz, I hope so much that my niece will still like me when she's a teenager. It's wonderful that you had such a great day with your nieces.

bunny

[LookingUp]

I haven't posted in a while, but I came out of lurk mode to say I love this thread!  
I celebrated an early Mothers Day yesterday with my kids, my husband and my mother-in-law. It was a REALLY nice day. Then I came home to find a card in the mail from my Nmom... no mention of a 'Happy Mothers Day'-- of course! Even though two of her daughters are mothers themselves, she never does anything for us on that day. It's as though she is the only mother in the family that should be celebrated. Absolute narcissism. Bleh.
Ok, enough complaining...I'm off to call my sister and wish her a happy Mothers Day!

[Bliz]

To Bunny,
People here have helped me a lot to understand the nieces as they get older.  I think if you stay in touch with them throughout they will still like to hang with you as much as teenagers like to hang with any adults.  I blame myself a little as I was not as active when involved with the nbeau as we were traveling alot.  

I also realized that I needed to change. they were not kids anymore and I had to find a new ways to relate to them.  Not like it is all sewn up and we are riding into the sunset but it sure was great to have them back for a day or two.