Does someone know of a good sexual abuse support site?

[Denise]

Mati, i to am a newcomer, i was so upset when i first read what had been posted about me, and some of the 1st comments i took personally and to heart, 1 was more or less saying i was nuts, it was horrible, i can only say i know how you feel in your frustrations to explain yourself, sometimes things are read the wrong way, i havent taken in all that was said between you and october as my concentration is not good, pm me if you want and maybe with you sharing things with me it might also help my very troubled self, a problem shared is a problem halved, or so they say, sorry ive not said much but my brain is working overtime with this terrible headache.
Take care always

[bunny]

Mati,

I understand that you feel the interaction was downplayed and no one supported you when you've had an incredible tragedy.  I'm really sorry that you felt so alone and attacked. I think suicide is such a loaded topic, it tends to paralyze people. I don't think anyone saw this as October=right and you=wrong. I didn't. Unfortunately because of the fragile nature of the thread's focus (Denise), things became very complex and brittle, and probably didn't support others who were triggered by the suicidal issue. I'm very sorry if you feel I dismissed you and considered you part of some trivial argument. I didn't. My goal was to de-escalate what I saw as an increasingly "going South" situation. I think you had every right to say what you said in your posts, and I thought it was pretty thoughtful. You weren't offensive. The only problem was that a person on the thread was considering suicide and I thought the discussion of suicidal ideation might trigger her. So I took some action. It may have been "control freakish" of me, and for that I apologize. You've done nothing wrong.

bunny

[bunny]

Denise,

I'm sorry about the bad headaches, we're thinking of you.

bunny

[Brigid]

Mati,
I feel the need to say one more thing, then I'm going to leave this alone.  I am only speaking for myself, obviously.  In the context of the discussion you were having with October, I did not feel in any way qualified to comment on what either of you was saying, as I have no experience, no training, have done no reading or in any way could speak to the subject matter.  

I do not know what triggers there may be for people who are suffering with serious depression, ptsd, or suicidal tendancies.  The two of you have direct experience with that and obviously differing ideas about the causes and cures.  I feel very helpless to offer support to either of you that has any real substance, and can really only offer a listening ear and a hug.

I know you feel you were treated unfairly and under normal circumstances, I would probably agree with you.  However, this very delicate subject matter  does not fall under "normal" IMO, and without knowing anyone's whole story, I could not say what is fair or unfair.  

I pray that you can move on from this and once again find comfort and caring from the members of this board.  You have every right to seek the help you need and I assure you that I support you in that quest.

Brigid

[Denise]

I do not know what triggers there may be for people who are suffering with serious depression, ptsd, or suicidal tendancies


I shall tell you what my triggers are or a big part of them, especially now while am in this heightened state, a phone call "telling me i am lucky to have this person in my life" this is the same person who slept with the population behind my back and lied to me constantly, thankyou is all i can say to this person, for kicking me hard when i am down        

[Anonymous]

And as with every ray of sunshine breaking thru, the clouds will one day, fade away!

Some of us live in darkness by choice and some because of others. Then there comes light and all of its many colors. We make the choice as to whether to move towards its many brilliant colors or stay in the dark. Others may have put us in darkness, but it is for us to choose the light.

Light is scary and new, dark is bad but farmiliar. What do we do, stay within the shadows for fear of better times? We know the dark has no answers, it has no life. Life is a one time gift, darkness is forever. The light at first will be a rushing shock and then soon a friend. Darkness has no friends, it has no life!

I welcome people from the darkness, for I was once one of you. I know your pain, I've felt its cold hand, but now I dance with the breeze about me and the sun upon my face. Life leads us to light, but sometimes, if not many, it takes us thru the shadows. This is life.

[Brigid]

Sunshine,

My ears started ringing at that time, and have not stopped-even after 20 years.

Thank you for sharing that.  My ears have been ringing since I started taking Lexapro over 18 months ago.  I thought it would go away when I stopped taking it over a year ago, but is still there and drives me crazy.  I'm not happy to hear that you still have it after 20 years, but at least I know it is not just me.

Guest,

Life leads us to light, but sometimes, if not many, it takes us thru the shadows. This is life.

So beautifully said.  Thank you.

Brigid

[Anonymous]

The first meds i was given were zoloft or setraline, went straight from these onto others, all i remember is i could not function properly, i would take it early in the morning, and it wasnt till afternoon when my brain reattached to my body, horrible experience

Denise

[Anonymous]

Light is scary and new, dark is bad but farmiliar. What do we do, stay within the shadows for fear of better times? We know the dark has no answers, it has no life. Life is a one time gift, darkness is forever. The light at first will be a rushing shock and then soon a friend. Darkness has no friends, it has no life!


How does 1 get from the darkness, as the weekend approaches, it gets darker an darker, and the anxiety is building up once again, how does it stop, if ever?I hate the weekend more than anything, its empty and lonely and i cant bear it!

 Denise

[Anonymous]

I am afraid to be alone, its the weekend coming and i cant cope with it, i dont want to exsist, bank holiday, 4 days on my own more or less, its not worth the pain, the sadness the despair the loneliness emptyness, my only companion being my pc, i get overwhelmed with fear and anxiety for myself, cos i feel in myself the time is near, i need to feel that sunshine again and smile them smiles and in this dark forsaken place its never going to happen, however hard i try, am like a fish in a bowl just going round an round.
Ive thought about suicide so much, just a few to many pills, go to bed listen to some gentle music, and its over, pain is taking over the guilt

[Anonymous]

Sunshine, and what a lovely name that is, you are lucky i have no therapy havent for nearly 4 weeks now, its a lonely place

[bunny]

I think a fear of being alone, the emptiness, desolation, comes from very, very early experience of parental neglect. A small baby doesn't have a sense of time like we do. A minute feels like an hour to them. People who were traumatized have a similar sense of time. An hour alone feels like forever. A day alone feels like an eternity. This is the memory of a baby who is afraid it literally will not survive.  

How to deal with it: Keep reminding yourself that time is passing, and if you can, schedule every hour so that you feel there is some structure. Even if it's to watch a TV show, do the laundry, make a scrambled egg.

I don't know if this helps you but at one time it helped me.

bunny

[Denise]

David you alone have just signed my death certificate, i will not be treated like a piece of dirt anymore, so now you can have sex with your EX WIFE as much as you want, you have destroyed me as a person, you and all the rest of the abusers, but over a time when i needed the most help you have done more damage, your sleeping round your constant lies and your pretence of being my friend, everything will be set in place, cos i CANNOT take this anymore, and will not, its over

[Anonymous]

Denise,

It wasn't very nice what David did to you at all.  Can you tell me what the latest thing is that happened?

LM

[Denise]

It doesnt even matter no more, the damage and pain caused is far beyond repair, no1 will hurt me ever again