I think this is a really interesting thread. I agree that we are not responsible for the hurt someone inflicts on us. But I think that we are responsible with what we do with that hurt. We can choose to let it make us bitter or we can chose to let it make us become wiser. Of course, we do not recognise we are being hurt if we have been too damaged to know abuse when it appears. But once we recognise the abuser as such then we have that choice. However, we have often developed a trauma bond with that person so it is not that easy. But help is there, by way of therapy or self help books, it is up to us to make use of the help available to escape. Not a quick fix thing, but unless we do take responsibility for our own safety and well being, then we have made a decision to tolerate abuse, and we are then responsible.
