I just wondered if there is any commonality in N ailments, and how they respond to them, in the same way as there is a commonality in the effect on their families.
My Nmother is in her early 70s. She is very overweight, has high blood pressure and high cholesterol. She uses tablets for both, (even though she claims to not be able to swallow tablets
) and does not modify her diet at all to minimise the symptoms. She takes no exercise whatever. My dad has had a stomach ulcer and other digestive problems for years but does at least potter in the garden when he can. He takes tablets and she feeds him a high fat diet, with lots of sugar, lots of fried and greasy foods. They both smoke a lot. Dad tries to cut down, but mum has never even tried. Nobody knows how many she smokes, but it is a lot. If she goes in my car she always has to have a cigarette the moment she gets out - and not because my driving is that bad!!!!!
Dad can go a whole day without a smoke, and it doesn't bother him. I think he could give up if it were not for mum. She needs him to keep her company.
Some years ago Nmum was ill, and not sorting it out, so I went to the chemist and bought her some over the counter stuff - I forget what it was; cough medicine or whatever. She loved the fuss; she went on and on about how it didn't matter and she was fine and not to worry, which all means exactly the opposite. She actually means I know I am dying, but leave me in peace because nobody understands, and you will all be sorry when I am gone.
She has actually said this kind of thing to me several times, over the years. I usually tell her she is talking rubbish, or words to that effect. Anyway, she made lots of complaints about not being able to take the medicine, and I insisted, and then she took it and rushed to the bathroom and made herself sick on purpose.
Since then, needless to say, I leave her to her histrionics. I buy Gaviscon for my dad if he needs it, but nothing for her.
There seems to be some background expectation that illness/good health is to do with doctors, and is for them to 'cure', rather than being the responsibilty of the patient to maintain or maximise. Whenever I try to talk about sensible eating, there is no response whatever. It is just blanked out. Is this to do with their perceived immortality? No idea. Just wondered what others find.
