Did your N use your body for Masturbation?

[rdslady]

In the beginning of our relationship, he was very charming and romantic. But things changed. One time he tried to bite me. I told him I did not like that. He said he thought it was romantic. I don't think so. After that, he changed. He never kissed me or really touched me. He seamed to use my body for masturbation. We were no longer making love. If I wanted to be kissed, I had to ask and he would but it seamed to him like it was unnecessary and he became bad at kissing. I would tell him how much I loved kissing and he basically stopped kissing me at all. The most I would get is a peck on the lips when he came to see me. Many times I would have to ask for that also. I started to feel that I was not attractive enough for him. I didn't understand.
He also would make a point of telling me he never masturbated and did not look at porn. Why would he tell me that for no reason unless he really was and was trying to convince me how perfect he was. I would catch him channel surfing and he would stop on a channel which was showing what I call soft porn on cable. He also loved to watch the T.V show "Talk Sex" .
 
I feel that he has another sexual side to him that he would not show to me.
I think he used internet dating sites to (where I met him and he still had his profile up the whole time we were dating) to satisfy the other sexual side (rough sex) of him.
 
Has anyone else experienced anything like this?
 
I have been in No Contact for 6 weeks now.

[mum]

rslady: congratulations on staying away from the loser.  Perhaps instead of counting 6 weeks away from him, or no contact with him....you could reframe it for yourself: something along the lines of "6 weeks of owning my power!" or "6 weeks as a newborn lover of my life"....just some label, if you like, to take HIM out of it completely.
As far as your other question: I haven't experienced everything you describe, but that is exactly what I think both of my exN husbands were doing.  They didn't make love, they had sex...I just happened to be there.  It's all about them anyway, even when it's about pleasing you, right?  (ie: "see what a good lover I am, I know what to do...") YUCK and BLECHH!!!!  Good riddance, losers!!!!
Again, congratulations on your new life!  Continue to take the power back over your life!!

[Serena]

I couldn't advise people more strongly to stay from internet dating.  It's a built-in disaster.  Many women post on there because they are genuine, lonely and looking for love.

Men post on there because they want uncomplicated sex.  Dump this creep, delete his phone number(s), msn, e-mail.

He is a moron and you don't need to be around people like that.

imo

[Brigid]

rdslady,
Yes, I most definitely experienced this with my n xh.  When he told me he was leaving for another woman, he also pronounced that he had been using pornography and masturbating for many years as his means of satisfaction, while telling me he had very little interest in sex.  He had dumped much of what he had around the house and off the internet before he left, but I still found tapes, dvd's, books, toys, etc. hidden in his closet and had hundreds of web hits recovered.  Toward the end of our 22-year marriage, he basically masturbated himself to an orgasm and had to use ed meds to have an erection.  There were more disturbing things that happened that I am unwilling to talk about, but you get the picture.

It comes down to their inability to be intimate, either mentally or physically.  The woman my xh is in a relationship with now is married and therefore attractive to him because she is not available.  Obviously, masturbation is the least form of physical intimacy there is, so very appealing to an n.  

Consider yourself so fortunate to be away from this loser.  He is pathetic and will never be anything but.

Brigid