I'm sorry, I haven't a clue ...

[October]

Ns - as we know - know everything and can do everything perfectly.  

So, what do you not know, and what can't you do for toffee?  

I could never do leapfrog at school.  I always thought I would fall on my face, so was too timid to try properly.  And I can't change a car tyre.  And fortunately I have never had to.  Far too messy and greasy and such.    

And I don't know anything whatever about geology, astrophysics, botany, pop music or films.  Lots of others too, but those are a few to start with.

 

[mum]

This is fun, October!  

Actually, I was thinking about that very thing today in an professional development class I am taking (educators....)
Anyway: the thought of what someone CAN"T do and what they CHOOSE NOT to do is worth exploring.
As  a child, I felt I could not climb the rope in gym class.  I actually did have poor upper body strength, so it was extremely difficult for me, but this was the ONLY time we had to do this task (when it was being assessed!!!) and it was never taught and we never trained for it!  Talk about lousy educational practice!
I have no doubt that had I built up those muscles, built up my self talk so that I was not so afraid, etc....I COULD have climbed the rope.
So CAN"T do is often CAN DO given proper conditions.

I CAN"T have give birth to any more children....have no desire to, no longer have the physical capabilities.....and yet: I suppose I could find a way, in this modern world to make that happen.  My motivation is not there, however, so it really is a WON"T do!! (um that's why I got the tubes tied in the first place!)

I CAN'T MAKE other people do what I want them to do (unless they also want to do it)....I can only control myself and in that try to have relationships with other people.
Now THAT is something an N would never say!!

[mum]

"can't have give birth".....nice!  Yup, and I am an educator!!!

[mum]

It occurs to me the list of what I don't know would fill so many volumes of type it would be ridiculous to start it!!!!
The N's in my life have berated me for not knowing/caring about the following however:
violent movies
certain television series
ummm what ever it is they are interested in and I am not!!

[Brigid]

I would have to agree with mum that the lists of things I know nothing about would fill volumes, but those things which on occasion caused me to wonder why I can't do them and wish I could:

1. Sing--and don't anyone tell me I could if I wanted to and just need a voice teacher or whatever.  You have no idea what you are up against.

2.  Eat with chopsticks--I actually think this also explains why I've never been able to hold a pencil properly.  Of course, I had teachers early on who tried to fix that problem, but to no avail.  They finally gave up when they saw how good my penmanship was despite the mishandling of the instrument.

3.  Play video games--actually I could care less about this, but occasionally my son would want me to play a game with him and I was hopeless.  I have poor hand-eye coordination, which also makes it very difficult to play tennis, baseball, etc., etc.

I'm sure there are many more, but those came to mind.  Fortunately, it is nothing that keeps me from living a full and happy life.  Getting rid of the nxh was the start point for that.  

Brigid

[sleepyhead]

Ooohh, play any sport that involves a ball of any sort... Or play an instrument well.

[d'smom]

this -is- really funny..... actually this is something i play sometimes when im feeling anxious about what i did or didnt acheive in my life......

when i realize the huge volume of things i will not only never do, but will never -care- that i do....... it makes me more satisfied with the stuff i -did- do........

i know i can say with authority i will NEVER ever ever ever hold the world record for bungee jumps.....

i will never make my living as a skydiving instructor......

unless i get major plastic surgery or playboy radically changes its standards i will -not- be posing for playboy in my lifetime. (missed -that- boat. maybe a few decades ago. but now im 100% sure ill have to wait for my next life.)  goodbye to that dream!.....

i probably wont become fluent in russian.

oh, and im pretty sure i wont be a professional basketball player.

sigh, this is too easy!

[October]

This is fun, October!  

Actually, I was thinking about that very thing today in an professional development class I am taking (educators....)
Anyway: the thought of what someone CAN"T do and what they CHOOSE NOT to do is worth exploring.

I CAN'T MAKE other people do what I want them to do (unless they also want to do it)....I can only control myself and in that try to have relationships with other people.
Now THAT is something an N would never say!!

Funnily enough, in relation to your last point, my Nmum as you may remember, thinks she is a witch, and that her mother was the same.  She thinks that she can make people do things that she wants them to do, just by wishing it hard enough - what she calls 'putting the 'fluence on them'.  Usually I laugh at her when she says this, and make fun of her, but actually it is not far short of what she achieves as an N (although I would never admit it to her) so in some senses she is a witch.  Nice eh?  (And incidentally a good indicator that grandma was N too.)

In relation to the  first point, Ns I think only do what they can do perfectly.  Which reminds me of a saying; 'If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.'  In other words, if we can't do a thing perfectly, but still enjoy doing it, then we should carry on.  Ns can't, but we can, if we think about it, and dig out the perfectionist weeds from our thinking.  

So, maybe the next question is, what do you do badly, but still enjoy enough to make it worthwhile.  Not sure what I would say here, because of the perfectionist weed, or the alternative, false modesty.  I suppose the nearest would be writing and painting.  I do both because I enjoy doing them, not because they bring me any rewards of any kind.  

[Portia]

I just have to say this October because it's exactly how I feel

what do you do badly, but still enjoy enough to make it worthwhile.

  !LIVE!  take part in life  I think I do this pretty badly but heck, it is still enjoyable enough to be worthwhile. Definitely.

Having said that, I can't quite square it that I still smoke. Powerful addiction I think. One day maybe I'll change my mind just enough not to want to poison myself. Which would mean I value my life and am stating it loud and clear   . See the problem with the addiction?

So for now I live badly, but I still enjoy it. That's good enough

[mum]

hey, October: ok, this I can relate to so well:

I like to fix things.  Or I should say, I like to TRY and fix things.
I like using power tools, and since I am a single mom, and not wealthy,I basically do everything a "man around the house" would do.  So I fix things. Badly, but even when it looks a little nasty, I feel good, because I did it alone. (and weilding a power drill is so cool!)  I have tiled bathrooms, painted my house, fixed screen doors, built and put up shelves, planted shrubery, you name it, I did it. Some things (painting) much better than others, and some things (plumbing) I have given in and called an expert to fix my mess!

I also like rock climbing. I am not particularly good at it, or even extremely motivated.......but when I do it, I love it!

[October]

hey, October: ok, this I can relate to so well:

I like to fix things.  Or I should say, I like to TRY and fix things.
I like using power tools, and since I am a single mom, and not wealthy,I basically do everything a "man around the house" would do.

I do those things too!!   I have a slight advantage because my dad was a builder, and so I learned a lot of stuff just by watching, and by working as a gofer for him when I was younger; mixing cement and such.  And my mum used to do all our decorating, and I watched her and learned how to do that too.

The most ambitious thing I ever did was to retile a fireplace for a friend, and that looked ok when it was done - not professional maybe, but certainly passable.  I tend to think that if I know the theory of how to do it, that is as good as experience.  And normally it is at least half the job.  Otherwise I have decorated here, and put coving, curtain rails and kitchen cupboards up.  I don't do electrics or plumbing, but I can renew panes of glass if I have to, and I can do brickwork, except that I have never actually tried building any walls.  But I know I could if I had to.  

So I certainly enjoy home improvements, and like you, if I didn't do them, I couldn't afford to pay anyone else to do them.  

[October]

  !LIVE!  take part in life  I think I do this pretty badly but heck, it is still enjoyable enough to be worthwhile. Definitely.

That sounds pretty well enough, Portia.  Maybe not enough for ever, but better than nothing, and enough for now.

And as for the smoking, well, none of us is perfect.  And we all have to have an ambition of some kind, I dare say.