Questions for Dr. Grossman

[None]

Dr. Grossman -

After reading your paper and browsing this forum I have several questions which I hope you'll not regard as taunts because I'd love to hear your answers.

1. Where does personal responsiblity kick in with your idea of voicelessness? It seems to me as though the intent is to pass blame to others rather than encourage people to face their inner pain and accept how this pain plays a role in relationships which go awry. Whether this is your intention or not I'm afraid reading this forum is clear that is the result.

2. I see not long ago you deleted a post stating it contained many taunts. how do you define a taunt? Is it okay for someone to taunt those who may suffer from a personality disorder? I see no reason to believe it concerns you whatsoever if the taunt is politically correct in your eyes.

3. From what I've been told by others you claim to have worked some with people who are NPD in your practice. That being the case can you put yourself in their shoes and see how the approach being practiced in this forum might well be destructive to them? Or does that matter to you?

4. How likely is in your professional experience for a person to heal their wounds by placing blame on their problems on others? If you can provide evidence documenting this (confirmed by an indepedent source) I'd love to see it.

Thanks

None[/url]

[Anonymous]

I'm not dr. Grossman but I'm responding anyway.

1. Where does personal responsiblity kick in with your idea of voicelessness? It seems to me as though the intent is to pass blame to others rather than encourage people to face their inner pain and accept how this pain plays a role in relationships which go awry. Whether this is your intention or not I'm afraid reading this forum is clear that is the result.

I don't think this is going on in this forum at all. It's the opposite. People have been twisting themselves into pretzels blaming THEMSELVES all their lives. And it's not even about blame. It's about boundaries, where one person ends and another begins, and how much responsibility to take for problems in relationships.

2. I see not long ago you deleted a post stating it contained many taunts. how do you define a taunt? Is it okay for someone to taunt those who may suffer from a personality disorder? I see no reason to believe it concerns you whatsoever if the taunt is politically correct in your eyes.

My observation is that he deletes posts where someone makes a personal remark about another poster.  I haven't seen anyone who has a personality disorder, or who has been taunted because of it.

3. From what I've been told by others you claim to have worked some with people who are NPD in your practice. That being the case can you put yourself in their shoes and see how the approach being practiced in this forum might well be destructive to them? Or does that matter to you?

People with NPD are not on this board, and it's not designed for them.  

4. How likely is in your professional experience for a person to heal their wounds by placing blame on their problems on others? If you can provide evidence documenting this (confirmed by an indepedent source) I'd love to see it.

Sounds like an accusation or sarcasm..

bunny

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

The issue of help, support, and empathy for people with NPD was previously debated on this message board.  After many posts (and little headway made), the subject was closed.  There are simply too many people here who have been hurt by people with NPD.  Luckily, there is a support site which I recommend for people with NPD.  This site was started by TC Brown  (who originally brought up the issue you are addressing):    http://frost.bbboy.net/healnpd.  I hope this helps.

Richard

[Resolution]

It's of no importance Richard, but I didn't create this post.

I believe that this is an important site for people to discuss their issues. It brings comfort to a large number of people, I am one of them. For sure, certain things must be regulated and indeed the post mentioned, had reached its 'sell by' date. It was getting heated and I accept my part in allowing it to become so. I apologise.

I fully appreciate that this is your 'football pitch'....and your rules that we play by. Long may it continue.

[None]

Interesting. I am aware of the site you mentioned, but that does not answer my question. Although in a way I suppose it does rather sadly.

[Plucky]

Dear Dr. Grossman,
I want to take this opportunity to thank you for sharing your story and for starting and supporting this board.  It has been a lifesaver for me.   If I woke up tomorrow and it was not there, I am not sure where I could go for the support and help I have found here.
Thank you.
Plucky

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Resolution:  I very much appreciated your post.  Thank you.  None:  I’m sorry your questions were not answered satisfactorily.  And Plucky:  Thank you.  I’m so glad the site (and my story) has been helpful.

I am closing this thread for the reason given in my prior post.  


Richard