legal stuff

[dogbit]

I have just learned that because I left my house due to a State Trooper telling me I had to do so for my own safety that I have relinquished any rights I have to my parent's, children's, brother (deceased), and grandparents personal affects because I did not state them in the divorce as "what I wanted".  And I have a lawyer with an excellent reputation  .  I foolishly assumed that Mr. Entitlement would not put these things out in a garage sale.   I'm devastated because I know Mr. E will not give them to me or my children in a very mean way of getting even.  I foolishly thought that these items would not be contested.  They include all of the pictures of my kids growing up, my pictures of my family, and even my parents ashes.  You know, we think they are sick and I think I am really stupid.

[Stormchild]

You aren't stupid; "the Law is an Ass."

You acted in good faith to protect your own personal safety, but the Law favors any abusive scumbag as long as they are a property holder. No surprise, since property owners write the laws. Or their lobbyists do.

Doesn't even have to be their property, as you found out.

I'm so sorry Bittles.

Anything you can do - legally - to make these things a bartering chip for something the creep wants? And hold him accountable for their safety and good condition, until you get them, in exchange for whatever it is? He damages them, he doesn't get X?

[miss piggy]

Hi Dogbit,

This really stinks.  I would talk to another kind of attorney, maybe.  Lawyers specialize in different areas and may not know all the ins and outs of different specialties(just like doctors).  I am thinking of estate planning law, property law, etc.  I think a divorce lawyer should know property law, but maybe a different specialist might have good ideas. 

Just an idea. It still hurts, but I hope this helps.  What a mean guy to want to keep your parents ashes! 

Good luck to you, MP

[Brigid]

Hi Dogbit,
I'm sorry this is happening to you.  It is so unfair.  I assume you do not live in a "marital property" state?
In my state everything is 50-50, so he would not be able to keep everything, no matter who left the house.  I would say that I hope he comes to his senses, but he would need senses to come to them, so I guess there isn't much hope of that.  How old are your children?  Can they apply any pressure?

I wish you well.

Brigid

[dogbit]

Thank you Stormy, Miss Piggy, and Brigid.  I wrote that last night when I was just so shocked that this could happen but knowing very well that he is fully capable of making it happen.  I assumed that I didn't have to list these things for a divorce decree until my attorney told me otherwise yesterday.  I assumed that he might be somewhat normal but, obviously, was giving him the benefit of the doubt.  I assumed he would maintain contact with our children when I divorced him but to him it was a package deal and he has cut off all contact with them.  Fortunately they are 22, 22, and 23.  (The kids tell me not to worry....they never had a relationship with him anyway).  This is a no-fault but equitable State in which to divorce.  The judge gave me slightly more than half.  So this will be his way of getting even.

Admittedly, I am wallowing in self-pity and a lot of shock, actually.  On the good side, I have my kids and my dogs.  I have several very good friends near by.  I have enough money that I'm not going to starve or go on the dole.  I guess psychologically, this was the final moment that I really had to realize that he is truly mentally ill.  Or, he he is just evil because he has the intelligence to know what he is doing and is doing it nevertheless.  The law may be an "ass" but when you are conjoined with people such as my husband, it is the only alternative to dying young from stress or to be able to go on your way.   

Thanks for listening.  It's really good to finally be able to tell someone.  Bittles and the three little bits. 

[rjtal29]

I feel your pain because I have still not gotten back my personal belongings after almost being divorced for 3 years!!!!  He still hasn't unpacked from his last move which is almost a year, and all my stuff is hanging around his house in boxes.  My kids are fully aware of all of this because we have joint custody (Ages 12, 10, 9) and they see my stuff in his house.  The only thing I reallycare about at this are my baby photos (200+) and my children's baby photos and some home videos.  I gave up asking for it back (he denies he even has it) but it is listed in my marital settlement and I am considering going back to court to try and get it.  My only concern is that he will get rid of it before that and tell the judge he doesn't have anything!  There is no easy answer, but at least we escaped the prison!  You have to be thankful for that!