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Not being allowed to cry over anything?

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CC:
Yes, that's exactly what my mother said, almost every time!  Stop crying or I'll REALLY give you something to cry about.  How cruel is that?

catlover:
My mother wouldn't even let me LOOK upset.  We'd be sitting in the living room and I'd be frowning and she'd yell, "If you're going to look like that, then you can go straight to your room!"

Talk about not wanting to be inconvenienced by a child's feelings:  My mother used to put me on the front porch and lock me out when I was crying, from a very early age.  She'd say, "Let's see what the neighbors think about all this crying" and think it was very clever how I "didn't feel the need to cry now that she wasn't there to hear it and the neighbors could see me."  One time, I think I was about 5 years old, a bee stung me while I was out on the porch during one of these episodes.  I don't know how long I was out there screaming and crying and pounding on the door before she finally came to see what was the matter.

The thing is, now I get really disturbed when kids are allowed to carry on and their parents DON'T discipline them.  And I feel like most kids I've been around lately are spoiled brats.  Guess that shows why I don't think I'm fit to be a parent given the way I was raised.

Anastasia:
Back to the "don't feel, don't tell" messages.  Boy, Rob, did your story hit me between the eyes.  Never allowed to cry as Nmother didn't want to hear it:  I was to be devoid of all feeling no matter how cruel she or abusive stepfather were.  And never tell anyone what went on in that house was her constant refrain:  you can't tell me she didn't know on some level that she and he were frigg'n freaks and totally NUTS!  The older I get the happier I am that I got the hell away so much as I could all my life:  what a couple of losers they are/were.

Discounted Girl:
In our house it was the NQueen who did all the crying and carrying on. I went to my room and cried into the pillow. Rarely did she see me cry. Of course, when I was a baby there is no telling what she did/said to me when I cried. I guess I am glad I cannot remember. One time, when I was about 28 she hurt my feelings so terribly when I arrived at their house on a Saturday morning. She was preparing breakfast and asked if I wanted some. I said yes, and she went ballistics -- out of the blue. She threw the pan, the food, the plates, everything in the wastebasket and went on a cursing streak that would make a sailor blush. I stood there in shock and watched my Dad simply eat his meal and stare out the window, as if he didn't hear anything. A couple of tears fell out on their own and she said "you can save those tears for someone else -- they don't bother me." It is an absolute miracle I am not in an asylum somewhere. My 4 yr old ran to me and put his arms around my leg and glared hard at her.  But I said nothing -- just let the old bag rant and rave while I remained voiceless, a grown woman.  Ah, some things should be allowed to be reenacted.

Anastasia:
You sound like such a gentle soul, Discounted Girl, and she has really hurt you alot.  Wish there was something I could do to help you.
Me, I get angry, cuss and yell it out.  Goes with my aggressive nature, but it helps me.

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