Tell mom she's an N or just cope?

[KateW]

My mom is all "hurt" by my recent plans to forgo Thanksgiving with her and my crazy Nsister - largely because she's mad I'm spending Christmas with my dad who lives in Australia and doesn't want me to have a relationship with him... I wrote in earlier with topic "New to this. Think my mom's an N - help." She took Paxil a few years ago and it seemed to help.. but now she doesn't "need it anymore". Yeah right. Do I tell her about my recent discovery that she is an N? Or is that a bad idea?

[Anonymous]

Kate,

Telling a parent that he/she is a narcissist isn't a good idea. All that happens is that they get enraged, defensive, and you will be the target of major attacks. They may also tell other relatives that you are saying mean, crazy things, and make you a target of other family members. My suggestion is to use the information privately for yourself, to determine optimal strategies for dealing with her.

bunny

[Anonymous]

Thanks Bunny. I can see how that would backfire. You're right - she would just get angry and defensive.

[Anonymous]

since I told my partner I think he's N & needs help the situation has deteriorated, he is now moody, depressed, entirely uncooperative and violent.
He just can't handle it, and has no intention of getting help, like most Ns.
Protect yourself, take care of yourself, don't try to help, it's hopeless: they have to help themselves.
They know something is very wrong and they choose not to get help. They deeply resent any potential dent to their distorted projected self-image or potential threat to regular sources of narcissistic attention.
I believe all psycopaths are Ns, and this flash-point is where Ns become psycopaths.