Looking for magic

[BJ]

Marta,

What a beautiful story. It made me think of Kahilil Gabran's "The Prophet" as he speaks of marriage. 

Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?" And he answered saying:

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

If you both find inspiration and love of life when you're together, would it be possible to follow your own dreams independently, yet, still be together? I'm not sure. As long as you and A are not in disagreement about a combined decision like--only one of you wanting a child(for instance), couldn't your love and respect and care for each other survive the more superficial stuff...or is this about total opposite lifestyles and dreams? I think if value sytems and morals with care and respect are in place, the rest will work on its own, if each person is willing to be open to the other.  He sounds incredible and we should all have an "A" person in our lives.
I thought of one more thing. As a tree stands confident, firm, and tall, one might hold onto the roots firmly planted in the ground while another might find inspiration in the branches climbing up to the sky...either way, the nature of a tree forms an umbrella of protection from outside forces.  "Weather or not" you are capable of being together, you found your magic in your love together. How lucky you both are!

[miss piggy]

Hi all,

I know I've had magical moments, I just can't recall right now.  Just wanted to say all these posts are brightening my day--so there's some magic right there.    MP

[Marta]

BJ:
He sounds incredible and we should all have an "A" person in our lives.

Oh no, I didn’t find a magician but magic, if you know what I mean.  It was a process of alchemy, where two lost people came together and each of us became a better person by loving the other. I think there is something about passionate loving-- be it a person, tree, music -- which turns us into better human beings.

When someone who’s known nothing but abusive relationships for nearly four decades of her life finds a partner with genuine goodness, it is experienced as magic. Something akin to Plato’s example of people who’d spent a lifetime chained in caves took and took shadows for human beings must have felt when they left the cave for the first time and saw each other in daylight.

I am still struggling hard with a lot of issues from my N upbringing, but now I have something solid anchoring me to life. Just a few years ago, every morning I needed to convince myself with a new reason to carry on.

I also love the magic children open us up to! All the mothers out there, why art thou silent?

Marta
PS: One book I’d especially liked about magic of relationships was by Kokie (sp?) Roberts, the PBS anchor and her politician husband.

[Plucky]

Hi Marta,
that is a wonderful story.  it needs to be made into a television movie.   
there is indeed much magic with children.  I'm trying to think of an incident that is not too identifiable.  I guess the birth of my first child could be one.  he heard my voice and turned his head to see me just as they were cutting the cord.  he kept his tiny face turned in my direction until I was holding him.  Then he relaxed and fell asleep.
Plucky

[amethyst]

I have been following this thread with delight. Marta, what a beautiful relationship...and yes, that is how relationships are if they are healthy...they change us. It's magic.

[BJ]

Oh no, I didn’t find a magician but magic, if you know what I mean.   It was a process of alchemy, where two lost people came together and each of us became a better person by loving the other.

Isn't that exactly what IT is all about--who needs a magician with a reality like you describe. Most people are never fortunate enough to find their personal best, because of, or shared equally with, another.  There is also magic in holding it, together, forever.  If you and "A" still experience this marvel when you connect, will you only remain connected in spirit or are you looking for more/different or choose to fly solo? Wouldn't two "lost souls" feel "found" when you're together as you describe?  Are you still trying to heal youself first and this holds you apart?

The woman at the counter surveyed my purchase basket carefully and asked me to pay $283.45. Then one by one, she flicked each item through the checkout counter and there the number flashed on the screen, $283.45. 

   
Wow! I would have been floored by this.
Sometimes we need to have faith...even if it seems too soon to know, or too difficult to imagine, or how could it be? Sometimes the answer is right in front of us and our timing might be off. Is this created by our need to be assured? When is what we find good enough, or right, or just right? Must we always go through the act of confirming our feelings...just in case?

May be you will find your fellow-traveler amidst on your nature walks. 

I am married to my fellow-traverler who is a supportive, caring, gentle man. I often find inspiration in my life with my children. Their enthusiasm for adventure in new things, and life in general, is rewarding and envigorating because I am always excited to mutually engage in their interests. I love this opportunity that fills us with love. But...I must admit something. Currently, I find my therapist is the one who helps me find my personal best...qualities, traits, and talents...some hidden until now. I am both proud and humbled by this. I love finding my potential and the freedom to express it with him. Now, I need to take my own advice and hold it forever and share it and use it to help my children fly...forever with me, yet soaring above.

[Bloopsy]

It is very magical for me that there is  Survivors of Incest Anonymous, where at some of the meetings they have a drawing time. It is very magical to walk into a room in a hospital in the sometimes lonely city, and sit down at a table with others who are trying to heal to draw a picture with the supplies they have there provided by some person who cared enough to be there with art supplies. At one meeting, a very beaten looking man used the crayons to create a beautiful Monet-like landscape type drawing. He said that he wanted to be an artist, but that he could hardly survive let alone follow his dream because of the effects of the abuse from his childhood, but he drew that picture and held it up for the group to see and for that  moment he was recognized and honored for the artist that he is.

[Marta]

Bj, good to know that you've found a good therapist, which is a rare commodity, and are finding new horizons.

Are you still trying to heal youself first and this holds you apart?

Nawwww. Too cumbersome to really layout on the board, but I've made decisions which may keep us geographically apart for quite some time. As they say, if you love someone, set him free.....