Marta,
What a beautiful story. It made me think of Kahilil Gabran's "The Prophet" as he speaks of marriage.
Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?" And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
If you both find inspiration and love of life when you're together, would it be possible to follow your own dreams independently, yet, still be together? I'm not sure. As long as you and A are not in disagreement about a combined decision like--only one of you wanting a child(for instance), couldn't your love and respect and care for each other survive the more superficial stuff...or is this about total opposite lifestyles and dreams? I think if value sytems and morals with care and respect are in place, the rest will work on its own, if each person is willing to be open to the other. He sounds incredible and we should all have an "A" person in our lives.
I thought of one more thing. As a tree stands confident, firm, and tall, one might hold onto the roots firmly planted in the ground while another might find inspiration in the branches climbing up to the sky...either way, the nature of a tree forms an umbrella of protection from outside forces. "Weather or not" you are capable of being together, you found your magic in your love together. How lucky you both are!