N-H sent letter need advice if 12 yr old D should read.

[onlyrenting]

Plunky

How is she doing with that? 

She is fine, I asked her today if she was ok, she said she was. I tried not to make a big deal, it's part of dealing with being a woman and that is what she is. The doctor told her she should do her self exams and that's just the way it went. I was in the room and she kept looking at me like why the heck did I have to remove my bra??? The doctor was good about it. When we were done, she was saying "thanks a lot daaaad"

She got another letter from him, he has an unhappy tone. I think the N-supply is not giving him what he wants. He had sent her a camera and expected her to take pictures and send the camera back to him.
Because in the past her school picutures, any pictures he would keep them in his storage. I would never see most of them. I told her we would develop the pictures onto CD and she could e-mail him the ones she felt he could have. Yes he bought the camera, but if any of the pictures were something he could make something out of I did not want him to have a chance. N's could take something innocent and twist and turn into evil.
So he tells her "I guess it's just too much for you to handle"
She told me she had not e-mailed him the pictures , she just got the pictures back last week.
Could be he wanted them to use in court and that didn't happen. N-supply is not doing giving back according to the N-rule book..........Im not going to push her I did ask her if she e-mailed him the pictures.


Marta

the more bizarre and dangerous he sounds.

I feel sorry for my D, I wish this was not so. The mediator was not done with EX, I pray she was not fooled by him after we talked.

 

Thanks for your support.    OR

[Plucky]

Good luck with this, OR.  I am glad your daughter recognises who caused her discomfort.   And, if the mediator cannot see through your xH while a 12 year old can, shame on her/him.
Plucky

[onlyrenting]

UPdate from the court today..............The mediators report ready for Monday the 17th.

9 page report with statements from all three of us.

Looks good for me and ex was caught in one lie after the other.

I got a rare letter from my ex yesterday, with my heart pounding I left it in the car, I could not open it until this am.  Its  emotional black mail, he  tells me, to leave his family alone or he will tell the wife, his brother has a girlfriend.
I had faxed the first letter to D over to the mediator, in her report she mentions my concern about D reading this letter. She asked my D if she knew about the letter of course she said no, (but thanks for bring it up)


ex claims he knew nothing about the move to tx and I took all his meds with me leaving him to die.

The mediator notes she read my reports and many e-mails able to confirm we indeed made plans many months ago to make the move and also D said the same.   
ex lied about the gun, said we don't own a gun and I lied. I told her this was one reason the way I left to tx,keeping my plans quiet from them both for D's safety.

Mediator notes, ex tells her not to believe my D, that I would be there telling her what to say and would be listening on the phone.
She states it is very questionable father can take care of himself let alone another person.

1The recommendations are I get full legal and physical custody.

2.Ex must provide to the court a mental exam, and physical exam with regards to his health and all the meds he is taking and his ability to comply with the doctors reommendations and conditions that would impact his ability to parent. Only after the reports are reviewed would there even be a consideration for unsupervised visits.
 ( I read on his web site today he went to the doctors for a physical exam )
She did put in about a mental eval to be done on him. per my request.

3 Supervised visit in texas or if in CA supervised and during the day time only.

4. He is not to bring up his many medical problems to D and is to discuss them with me first and we both decide how to communicate them to her. ex talks about his death and how he will likley die soon. The mediator instructs him NOT to speak to her about this without talking to me first.

She states fathers insistant need to tell her about his poor health, would make her feel a need to care for him.
This is NOT her role. (underlined and in bold)

I let the mediator know how he over medicates, he blames me, telling her I gave him the meds thats why he was acting like he took too much.

D, told the Mediator how ex told her he would only take his meds, because I was with him and he needed them when he was around me. 

Im gald this part is done, I feel I got what I wanted and the many e-mails and information I gave the court was reviewed and now up to the Judge on Monday.


Thanks for reading.......... OR





4




 

[Marta]

OR,

OMG, this is a total 100% victory!!! I am sooo happy for you! It is soooooo amazing! I can just never believe it whenever anyone is able to defend themselves so successfully and righteously against Ns. Congrats!!!!!! Very inspiring indeed!

Marta

[Plucky]

OR,
that is wonderful news!  All due to your persistence and good parenting.  Let us know how the court thing goes.  Should it be a slam dunk now?
Plucky

[onlyrenting]

Marta, and Plunky I would believe the judge would read her report and follow as close to her recommendations. She had lots of direction from me, I asked for the moon and I got it!!!
In her report she took some of my own words from the statements I typed up and sent to her.
Some of her writings were what many of you said were KEY issues, being his health problems were not D's role

Ex sent a letter to D, I did not give it to her,  not going to show her letters anytime ex is going againist what the mediator said for him NOT to do.
Ex is telling her he is going to put her in his WILL...........
Mediator told him not to talk about death and how he may die soon.
What a set-up, dangle the bait then take it away when you don't do what he  says.
Tells her how the reason she does not want to write him, is she must be too young, (sounded like a put down)

Now I can get D back with the T she likes, will not need ex's permission.
I used this need, to ask for full  leagal custody. Ex knowing D will be talking about him may keep his crazy talk in check.

I also think the mediator making ex submit to physicatiric evaluation will make him not want to push custody.
I almost wonder if he will even show up. 

I faxed over his  letter to me to the court, I don't know if they will use it, ex said he was bringing this letter to court, I think because he said he will bring a copy she may go ahead and submit.

He is Telling me to act like a human and don't be a B##ch like my Mother.
He had these rules someone wiser then him said about raising kids.
He telles me to LIVE BY these rules.........He forgets he can't tell me how to live........DUH!!!!!
He also tells me about how he will tell the dirty little secret about his brother, if brother doesn't do what he says.
I sent this letter just to hit home how much hate ex has for those that don't make him happy.
I fear that if I had a BF, he would no doubt make trouble where ever his D is concerned.


I have been busy, D and I are working on painting cardboard boxes and making bandannas for the local Pet adoption center. I love to paint, so been busy painting fishes and fun things on the cat boxes.
D is at a slumber party tonight.

The court papers main subject line says MOVE AWAY, the 1st judge and mediator have said I should be fine to stay here in TX. I hope I get the same judge and the one on monday will be ok with me staying in TX too!

Thanks for reading, Im a bit on edge, will be painting more boxes tonight to help me stay calm....  OR