Ah nothing like a regurgitated old post!
DavidP asked: "Hi Selkie,What sort of things did you do in your relationships with those nice guys to "turn them into monsters?"
Well, in hindsight David, I don't think I "asked for it" with my ex, but I have thought in the past that my behaviour pushed men to get physically abusive with me.
One morning, my ex pushed me around the room, grabbing me by the throat, then threw me out of his flat. It was because I was feeling insecure about his weekend away at a drug induced time at a festival. In hindsight now, I realise that he put me in a very insecure place, i have already discussed it in a previous thread so I won't go into depth but he constantly said things that put me on edge, always looking at other women and commenting on their beauty, saying he didn't believe in monogamy, then when I would quiz him on it, he would say "I didn't mean it that way" etc etc.
One time he went up to a girl when we were having a night out, and he told her how beautiful she was...while I was standing right next to him! Things like that. In hindsight, I can see why I felt insecure. That morning, I was feeling so horrible and I wanted him to take away that pain and to comfort me and tell me that he loves me, but he just got really pissed off with me instead. He was asking me to let it lie, stop annoying him, let him sleep etc etc etc...
This is how I thought that I turned him into a monster, I blamed myself because he blamed me, what he said ruled over me, typical me! I can see how crazy it is now.
Kind of...
Write said:I think very often we are attracted to traits which seem the mirror-image or opposite of our own, complimentary traits that we ( or our parents! ) lack(ed).
Write, if you experience that, then I think you must be in a good place! I am still attracting my parents carbon copies! I am still in self destruction mode! I'm sure when i reach the top of the mountain, I will find that I attract the right sort of person for myself. In the meantime, i wish to remain single and avoid unnecessary pain so I can heal in peace.
