Very often when people start to post on this board they are suffering from extreme pain. They express relief to have found this place, and may even feel better for a while, but the pain has not gone away.
Then when they read responses, it is difficult to have an objective view of what is actually said. It is soooooo easy to read into a positive or humourous or even a supportive message something of cruelty or betrayal, because that is all that they - I - have ever known. Then sometimes the only possible response is one of extreme pain. Sometimes when we are in pain we cannot help kicking out; it is not intended to hurt, but sometimes it does. Sensible people understand that, and there are a lot of sensible people here, who can accept that this happens, especially with new posters.
The only way to learn that this place is safe is to post here. The only way to learn that actually the people here are not the perpetrators, nor rescuers, but allies, is to trust them enough to let them post replies to what we say. That involves taking a huge risk, and laying oneself open to rejection. It is very hard to post here. I know that. Sometimes I can't do it for weeks and weeks. Pretty well always I approach a thread that I have started, and think I am sure someone is going to say, get a life, or grow up or something. But that never happens. I get words of reassurance, and of love. It never gets easy to post, but it does get easier.
I am not going to mention names, or direct this to any one poster, because I don't think it applies just to one person. I think it is about me, most of all.
But to anyone in this kind of pain, can I just say, you are not alone any more. Unless you choose to be. (((((safe hugs)))))
