Hello,
I am new, and thought I would introduce myself before I jump in. A member of this Board invited me in. I am 44 married F, and I have a dd who is 14. I am divorced from her father. My mom passed away when I was 30, and I still miss her. I have a long history of dumb and dumber relationships. I married a pot abuser because I wanted to marry and no other candidate was available. We had my dd, which we now share 50% custody. I have dated and dated and never liked the nice guys. I've always been drawn to the arrogant Pr*&*ks. Anyway, these are long topics for another day. Currently I am married to a control freak... I married with that pit in my stomach that told me this was wrong, but I feared being alone. Again, no other candidates were available. My dad traveled alot and was distant and unavailable. He never hugged me until I was an adult. My mom was repressed in some ways, and she was not a hugger either, although I know how much she loved me.
Currently I use food to make me feel better. I am being treated for mild depression. I've been bingeing since I was 10 or so. Way back when I first started having money, I started sneaking off to buy food and binge. I still do it today. My weight has gone up and down over and over again.
I am here to learn more about myself. I want to learn to love myself and learn to be okay alone. I have a long way to go.
Ironically, my dad who is 81 has collapsed tonight. He is 8 hours away by car. I sit here waiting to hear how he is, and knowing I most likely will go to see him... and feeling guilty for all the times I didn't call.
Chance
