Hi Seasons,
I too avoid people in public only because I am not interested in carrying on small talk dialog, and usually if I am out and about I am driven to accomplish whatever I am doing. I know there are several times when there have been people that I know or know me that we recognize each other just enough to not stop and talk (I guess never made eye contact, but I saw them and know that they saw me). They too have an obligation to say something, if something needs to be said. The weird thing is we can see each other in a different setting and do all the small talk in the world. It is always 50/50 as far as the need to say hi or anything, and manners do matter so if it works out I will just keep moving and say "Hi" as sincerely as I can even if I was caught off guard because my mind was in lala land. In short I think it is totally OK to not talk to everyone you know, sometimes I'm just plain not in the mood, and I feel that not being in the mood is good enough.
Perhaps you don't want anyone knowing what your up to no matter how trivial it may be. Sometimes you just want to go to an event, or just shopping and be in your own world. Its funny because I am realizing that as I am writing this that I purposely don't look around like I used to do when I was younger. I keep my eyes pretty much forward, focused on whatever at hand, and get out of there without having to stop everytime i see someone, which can be often, and I am fairly brazen about it.
The only one that you ever owe an explanation to is first your spouse, and ultimately God himself, in my humble opinion. If you see someone out an about you really do not have to say anything but hi. Really. I think that there is an urge sometimes to have to explain or share to some, especially if you have before. Q: what is the basic difference in your sharing relationship with these two types of people that you have described? The ones that you are comfortable with sound like the ones that you share with. Perhaps you don't feel the need to startup relationships with anyone else, or you simply wouldn't feel comfortable with those other personality types, even though they may seem like they are pursuing a relationship with you.
You do not have an obligation to further even a social relationship with anybody, and I mean anybody. It is OK to have a relationship put on hi/bye status. I have done this all of my life, and sometimes the same hi/byer's become close friends later, and sometimes the close friends become hi/byer's because of life changes. Any and all versions of these relationships are cool, there is not a protocol on how and what level all your relationships should be at. Your relationships should be at the level that is most comfortable to you (I'm talking about anyone outside of family, cause there is a different obligation to family{that is...... "healthy family"}).
For me it never ends, as far as all of the people that I know from the many endeavors that I have persued in the recent past. Heck, I have to draw a line because it would be impossible for my sanity to establish a warming relationship with everyone that I meet weekly. This is why I am a bit calloused on this subject because it is something that I have had to face. I am sincere, and I care as much as I can, and depending on my mood sometimes I have to reach deep to show compassion on some days, but I rely on just the moment.
Let your conscious be your guide on who you care to open up to, and don't worry at all, or feel obligated to anyone else especially if you feel pressure to be something more to them. I don't know if this helps, but it struck a similar chord in my body when I read your post. God bless, and if this is way off track, just slap me silly.
Wally
