Hey Write,
You are so clear about what's triggering the mourning...good for you.
And even gooder that you have a plan.
You may have already been by now, but what I hope you found in a church today was just pews full of people. I think sometimes we forget that even in a religious setting, people are people-- and if you're developing good radar for who's kind, who's honest, and who's toxic...you'll be able to bond with good folks, and keep your boundaries up around those who aren't so good for you, no matter what their "title" is. Be wary of worshiping or expecting too much of "leaders"--sometimes it's the quiet people, with kind eyes...not the trumpeters, who are the true place of peace.
One of the things that's helped me most in church is small groups and friendships that have sprung from them. That, and it being a non-dogmatic place.
I wish you grace and kind community and much peace in your heart. You've had a hard year but you have a brand new year to look forward to.
Blessings,
Hopalong