Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Re: A Who in Grinchville? Lost in lostville is where I am.
Acappella:
One of the things I like about the vulnerability focus is that it speaks to a vital element of emotional survival (rather than Nism or any other clinical distinction in the title). Voice and emotional survival and vulnerability are universal like the water and air that all islands share - and are also the only modes of travel between those islands.
And, distinguishing the message from the messenger is also a key skill for us vulnerable humans, for me at least. I think we are doing a fine job of feeling out that one as a group. So at least we are not too cynical to hobble along that process together nor too idealistic to expect it to be wrapped up in a disney bow. Someone posted wisely to me months ago to be careful not to expect too much too soon. She (I think) was so right. Reaction is fast, easy and cheap. Responsiveness is an expensive, work in prgress. Get what I pay for.....
One of the reasons I feel safe here at this forum is that in addition to my own survival and thrival skills there is a community of folks like CC and portia and discounted girl & me :D with zest and humor and a moderator (THANKS AGAIN R Grossman) who is providing a place for discussions such as this one. And we all just dropped in outta the blue one day as has Gabriel & so this like most of the real world is essentially a open place. What better antidote to cults? R. Grossman isn't worried that by associating his name with this site we are all going to obsess upon him like moths to flame or that he is unprepared to handle it if we do or if he is he has courageously gone forth anyway. Richard Grossman is illustrating how good as well as tricky vulnerability can be among a group by providing this place.
All of us just showed up here one day "outta" the blue as you have Gabriel AND a lack of disclosure (while useful in sound bite advertisements or when dealing with the very youngest of children and my dog) puts an inherent limit on the level of connection.
Gabriel:
No time for a lengthy answer to the specific questions I'm being asked right now, but I do have a couple of simple questions for you, Acappella, and "Portia" and "CC" and "Discounted Girl"...
How many of you disclose your real names on this board?
When you realize that a poster on this board is not actually using her real name, do you feel threatened by the lack of full disclosure?
Until tomorrow...
Gabriel
Acappella:
Speaking for my self I accept that this is a limited exchange in part due to limited disclosure.
So far no one is asking for financial contributions (not that it is inherently wrong of course to do so). No one here is asking me or anyone else to join in anything - this is simply a blank set of pages on which we can express our written voices and listen and contribute spontaneously.
If I were to join another group who asked more of me then I'd also be looking for an equitable exchange. If I were to start another group and ask for donations and investment and disclosure I'd aim to start by doing all three my self first.
This is the last post in this thread in which I:
1) will respond in defense this site or its participants or
2) discuss the WE ARE S.A.V.E.D. site.
As for the former - I feel safe enough here and this thread has strengthen my sense of connection through process rather than a specific answer - just like real life.
As for the later there is a WE ARE S.A.V. E.D. post that Gabriel started and/or perhaps a vulnerability thread is in order for any who are interested in the topic in general.
As to the reason I started this thread (rather the one to which this title refers)- namely I was feeling lost and alone - your responses have been helpful in a way I hadn't expected. i suspected but now feel more clearly that there is just a big ole mix of vulnerability within each of us and among us, and many responses to it and uses for it. I was seeking some synchronisity and safety which I have felt here thank you. And this thread has strengthen my sense of connection through process rather than with a specific answer - just like real life. Thanks again all: opportunists, idealists, and mama bears too! I got in touch with my inner cub. :D
LOL
CC:
Gabriel, I am indeed not threatened by a lack of disclosure of people's given names here. We have established relationships already that are based on mutual disclosure of experiences and safety, we have exposed our own vulnerabilities, and have developed trust. And if you had been following this board for any length of time, you would have already understood that the lack of disclosure of our given names is primarily for the protection from other people (Ns) that might be snooping in our lives and that we do not feel as safe with...not because we have anything to hide from each other.
I might add that your defensive posture, and the fact that you don't have time to address the questions raised by a few of us here heightens my concern that you may not have come here with the best of intentions - yet you felt the need to have the last word...seems a little narcissistic? :wink:
Perhaps we have gotten off on the wrong foot. If you have something to share here other than touting another website, I for one would be interested in hearing it. We are here for listening, and to hear each other's voices. But let's not continue the website discussion on Accapellas clock. This is her thread.
Accapella, I really liked what you said about how a lack of disclosure puts an inherit limit on the level of connection.. you are right on. I am glad you got some "indirect" feedback and support, as an ironic outcome.. I guess it doesn't matter how you get it as long as you get it! I don't like to see you feel lost, when you have worked so hard not to be. But we inevitably will feel that sometimes as we define our new identity (our new self) outside of what the N in our life has always defined us as!
Hugs
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