Narcissists and pets

[deb]

I really appreciate getting so many responses.  The pet-writer guru Bruce Fogle says that dogs (I don't know about other animals) are always either a parent or child surrogate in the owner's unconscious mind.  He theorizes that people own dogs in order to nuture something (like a child) or to be nutured by it (like it's a parent). 

I have three kids and don't want any more! And my relationship with my parents is so disastrous that I can clearly see that  I definitely would be getting the dog  as a parent surrogate.  Do any of you view your dogs as parent surrogates?  If so, is that working well for you?

thanks for your responses!
djhme

[2224Jessica]

Hi Deb,
Our puppy is only 4 months old but I never considered that there may be a possibility about a dog being a surrogate parent but I did consider nurturing it myself..I mainly got him for the kids. After thinking about it, I know my nmum treats her dog like a surrogate parent. She can't live without her dog, can't go anywhere without him and seems to care about him to the exclusion of all others. She will buy gifts for him but won't for her grandkids. I don't have contact with her now.  I reckon she uses the dog to fill a need. She was abandoned as a child. She became a horrible mother though.  I don't see it as a bad thing that she does this, because I think it lets us off the hook to meet her needs. However for survivers of nparents, I think that it's a natural thing for dog to adore their owners and I can't really see a problem if the person is moving forward not staying stagnant in their recovery.
I view our puppy as a bundle of energy and he's quite a handful at times. I have two small children. The three of them are best friends. The dogs a bit of an entertainer for them.
 Interesting topic though
Jessica

[Hopalong]

Best dog training book I ever read was by The Monks of New Skete.

Hops

[Moira]

Hi all! A fascinating thread indeed! for myself, I've always had cats and discovered early on in childhood that they were my only source of unconditional love. They never judge you, love you no matter what, and don't care what is going on with you. They always seem to know when you're hurting and need comfort and love. Amazing! My cats have seen me through severe disabling depressions when they were all I could care for and not myself. I'd go without food etc but they were always looked after- even through some psychotic episodes. They were often the sole reason I would be reluctant to suicide. Unless you're a true animals lover, people don't get it and think you're nuts! I have always considered people who dislike animals and whom my animals have disliked- to be suspicious and not people I want anything to do with. animals are excellent judges of character- even if we don't see anything overtly off with someone. My ex N would be nice to my cats if he wanted something from me, and abusive to them otherwise. flung them off sofa, wouldn't allow them to snuggle, often " forgot" to feed them if I was late or away and ignored any illnesses that required my knowledge and usually trips to vet. My cats never really bonded with him either and mostly avoided him. Should have paid more attention to their feelings and actions than my own initial delusional thinking! Hugs, Moira