need some friends

[deenpac]

I am having a very difficult time taking care of anything right now.  Even little decisions are overwhelming.  Maybe because I relied too much on him and the relationship for my emotional well- being.  Now I have a difficult time SELF-SOOTHING.  I hate to sound like a big baby.  Has anyone else gone through this?  How do you start to take care of yourself and find strength?  Strength is really what I need right now.  I am pathetic.

deenpac

[Hopalong]

Hon, you mentioned in an earlier post how you wanted to crawl into bed and be taken care of and in this one, how you feel like a big baby. (I think babies are very honest people. When they're hurt, they cry and cry. When they're tired, they fall asleep.)

I say you are honestly acknowledging how terribly wounded you are. Withdrawal, yearning for rescue and comfort you can trust...completely normal reactions to this kind of shock. Plus, with all your worries, you are under overwhelming stress.

Even if you live in a rural area, I think it's important for you to not let this go any further without using what little energy you have to drive your body to a live, 3-D counselor or support group.

Don't worry about your brain coming along. Just make an appointment and take your body there and keep going. Your brain will start to recover.

Please let us know...

Hopalong

[pennyplant]

Hoppy is right, you should make a phone call, Deenpac.

I have been at the end of my rope before, for different reasons.

Just calling for a counseling appointment has helped to take some of the pressure off.

I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Pennyplant

[Portia]

Hi Deenpac

are you still at your new job? Can you take a couple of days or a week off - these are serious circumstances. From what you describe you're driving yourself into the ground. The job isn't helping, it sounds dreadful. What can you do to get time to yourself? Can you walk away from the job - is it worth it right now...?

if it was me....I'd spend a whole day sleeping then the next day swimming and walking

can you spend a day in bed? It sounds like you want to?

(and go get counselling too?)

[deenpac]

I am expected top work everyday next week to cover for someone's vacation.  This is supposed to be a part-time job and they sort of dropped that bomb on me last week.  I think I am being used a bit.

I wish I could turn off the dread and ruminations in my head about my future and start using  the fear for activity.  I am so paralyzed.

deenpac

[Hopalong]

Deenpac,
At least call a hotline. Doesn't have to be a suicide prevention line, but you even could call one of those, because they're great about having a big list of all nearby mental health resources right by the phone. You could ask whoever you talk to if there's another sort of counseling hotline you might call, or any sort of counseling center or individual counselor who might be willing to see you on a weekend.

Once decades ago when I was having terrible panic attacks, I wound up going to a hospital's ER, and had a very helpful visit with 2 resident shrinks. They asked me if I'd like to 'check in' and I said noooo, thanks, but they did hook me up with a therapy support group. Cheap, and I learned so much from the others there, many of whom had in fact been hospitalized. It was humbling and heartening at the same time.

Talk to your paralysis. Argue a little. At least make a phone call. Just make the first small action like that...is enough for today. Okay?

Hops