Welcome to my mother's Christmas Invitation

[Tamara Janow]

THE BLENDED FAMILY CHRISTMAS !!
 
This e-mail is our invitation to your families to celebrate Christmas Saturday, December 27 at our home.
 
Plans have changed and this time fits everyone's schedule the best.  We will be having dinner, opening presents and enjoying time together as our blended family.
 
We feel it is about time for all of our children to get to know each other better as you are the ones that will be planning our funerals and we want you all to be on the same page.  It will be better to get to know each other now than at that stage of our lives.
 
We feel the kids will have a good time together and isn't that what "THE ALL AMERICAN BLENDED FAMILY CHRISTMAS" is all about, families getting together.
 
Yes, This is what she wrote. Doesn't that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?!? She also invited my father, her ex, and his wife because she wanted to give HER a nice Christmas. My mother sued my father earlier in the year. These two don't belong in the same state as they are just crazy with each other, and my dear Nmother has never had anything good to say about his wife.

I decided to stay home this year...

[CC]

Wow Tamara,

thanks for sharing.    That is really weird, I can see that you made a good choice not to fall into a trap like that.  

I find it fascinating how all of us with parents that are Ns have different weird stories.  They are all controlling and weird parents, just different degrees and show it in different ways.

I'm sorry your holidays were disturbed with that email.  I'm sure it caused you stress even though you chose not to acknowledge their invitation to "get to know your fellow funeral planners"!  anyway, take care - it sounds like you are moving the right direction.

[Discounted Girl]

Typical self-serving, fake, lies and deceptions ... "make sure I am the star of the show" scenario. She picked 12/27 because she felt everyone would be through with their regular Christmas visits, etc., and the post-holiday date would make others less able to decline the invite for prior commitments.  She could be the queen bee and all her subjects (court jesters?) could gather round her and bow in her presence (presents?). All the N calculations and slick ways -- if that stuff could be focused on something positive, we could have found Osama and Saddam a long time ago.  I have not spoken or had any contact with my NQueenmother in 2 1/2 years. While I am still greatly tormented, there is relief in cutting ties and not being around her any more.

[Tamara J]

You're absolutely right. It is very fake and pretentious. Having my father over and his wife was craziness. She can't stand my father, they divorced 19 years ago. Their marriage was just craziness as both of them are Ns. They made everyone miserable including themselves. Their divorce was very messy to say the least and putting the kids in the middle and making them choose was the way they played. She has nothing ever good to say about my dad, though he is a total idiot. I just barely tolerate him. But having him over for Christmas and his wife of 5 years was bullsh*t. It's just another opportunity for her to say, "look at all of my stuff and my supposed lovely relationships with my children and grandchildren, wouldn't you like to have this". This is the woman who had a birthday party for me when I turned 30 and encouraged me to give tours of her house to my friends and guests. She made mention to my co-workers how much the dinner cost to prepare and how difficult I was to live with. Right. My husband seems to have no problem with it. She'll make you nuts.