Very Confused After Confrontation

[steve]

Penny:

As a final thought let me tell you a story.

There was a father who was abusive to his wife and children, an alcoholic, a criminal who went in and out of jail. This father had two children. One turned out just like the father. The other one turned out to be a fine upstanding citizen who raised a healthy and loving family.

When these two men were asked why they became what they became they both answered the same way: "What else do you expect with a father like that."

I guess my point Penny is that if we continue to not make choices for ourselves, and we continue to let people walk all over us, we will end up in the prisons that we have had to endure. I can not begin to mention to you the suffering I have endured, the sacrifices I have made, the opportunities I have lost. I am in tears thinking about how terrible my past life was. But no more.

I want to live. I want to be happy. I deserve to be happy. I am my own person and no one owns me. I live for myself and that is fine. I can not stop others from hurting and suffering if they choose not to help themselves. I can help but I will not do it if it means destroying myself.

I want to LIVE and BE HAPPY dammit.

So that is where I got my courage from. I do not see him as the powerful figure who holds my life in his hand. Nor do I see him as the helpless individual that needs my help to be happy. I am now and only now starting to see STEVE and I like Steve.

Want to know something else. Many other people like Steve as well and those people like him unconditionally.

It ha been a long and difficult journey but I feel like I have been given a new lease on life. Now I must find out what I will do with it because for the first time in my life I truely believe that I have a right to live it as I see fit.

I hope others can be inspired and decide to be acknowledged. Good luck all,

Steve

[pennyplant]

Okay, I think I see the difference--why I still can't even conceive of confronting someone else with the truth.  I'm still not quite believing in myself yet.  Getting there but not quite there yet.  That's the thing I didn't understand.

And I still think it is amazing that you have done this, twice now.  The details and bizarreness don't matter at all.  Where you're at with you is what matters.

Pennyplant

[wally]

Good for you Steve,

I found a bottomless bucket of pain when dealing with my father and all of his lies.  He is so far gone in his lies that he can't even remember recent conversations.  I wish I could confront and deal like you did, but I don't think there is anything there, its like trying to repair a car without the parts you need, unfixable.  So now I just look at him in awe, and go along with the comical things that he somehow dreams up.  He is so out of wack it hurts, and I know that I can never change that, but I have chosen to continue to interact with him knowing that I am there out of respect that he was my sperm donor (I'm even greatful for that), and that I atleast owe the time of day to him (but not that much time).  Apparently the way that I am dealing with it is not dealing with it, while staying on guard for my self-respect, and my family.  It is good to hear that someone has emerged clean cut.

Sincerely,

Wally

[moonlight52]

HIYA STEVE       COOOOOOOOOOOOOOL  You are brave !   You are great !

I feel I do not wish to give the next 1/2 of my life to my n dad.
Moonlight