Therapy and Anti-depressants

[healme]

I have struggled with depression off and on since I was 19 (now 38). I would say that my depression is probably at an all time high now. It is really bad. I just sit. I have taken meds two separate times before and they did help me. But I took them without therapy.

My husband and T (who is new to me) want me to go on meds again. I say no because it will just cover up my feelings. But the deeper I dig, the worse the depression seems to be.

Does anyone have any experience with Therapy and meds? Won't they make me feel better and then I will think that I don't need T anymore?

I really want to work thru these feelings but would I make more progress if I was on meds?

I am confused......

[pennyplant]

Hi Healme,

I only have experience with meds not therapy.  It felt to me like the meds didn't cover up my feelings but rather lifted a veil (this was about 7 or 8 years ago).  It seemed freeing at the time.  I went off them because of an insurance snafu where it wouldn't be covered for 11 months and I felt we couldn't afford that expense.  It was not a good idea the way I went about it--just stopped them cold.  I think it led to some kind of "backlash" with my emotions.

Sunk into a deep depression after my father died nearly a year and a half ago.  I decided to let myself feel the way I felt and try to learn from it.  Noticed the depression lifting this past January.  If I had never been on meds I might not know what to look for as far as the difference between being depressed and not being depressed.  However, I did give myself a time limit.  If this last depression had continued until the two year mark or got even worse, I would've called somebody.  Too much can go wrong if the depression gets too deep or too out of control.

How long have you been feeling this way?  It seems very severe from what you say.  If if were me I wouldn't take such a risk.  Maybe take the advice of your T and husband and give yourself a leg up.  It doesn't seem like you're getting better this way.  It seems like toughing it out is not working.  Being on meds doesn't have to be forever.

Regardless of what you decide, I send my very best to you, Healme.

Pennyplant

[moonlight52]

Hi Healme How long have you been depressed ? I am Bi polar and that is a mood disorder so I kind of go  back an forth from depression to manic .The talk therapy plus the meds  are working now .
I do become afraid sometimes for no reason but that has more to do with N dad  original family stuff than meds. Rather than what is happening in my life at this time which is good family life
Please it does seem like you need therapy and meds. I want to tell you I have always come thur depression and lifted myself out of it.The therapy and meds have helped me even when I thought this is not going to help at all I still went and quess what it did help. I just kept going and it got better.With my meds I am on a very balanced road now.My only problem is anxiety but even thats getting so much better.
Sometimes you can not see it getting better but it does get better. Really truly it does get better.I am sending you all the loving light from one thats been there .
Hugs
Moonlight

[Hopalong]

Hi,
I have heard that taking omega-3 fatty acids, in particular flaxseed oil, supplements 3 times a day has a remarkable antidepressant effect.

I've been meaning to try it. I was told this by a woman at church whose doctor recommended it.
They're natural anti-inflammatories, who knows what processes might be involved other than serotonin?

Anyway, just a thought...
HealMe, I have taken antidepressants for long stretches, and not, for long stretches. For me the best combo has been an SAD light during the winter, strong tea every morning while I sit by the light, and lots of regular walking.

Can you make yourself go walk every day for a week and see what happens?

(((((((((((HealMe)))))))))))

Hops

[write]

I'd say use a/d s to manage the depression whilst continuing with the therapy.
However I've had various psych meds prescribed down the years and have learned from experience- get an experienced psychiatrist to prescribe for you. There really is a knack to getting the right drug to help you.

No a/d s don't surpress your feelings. Depression is an illness which sometimes only meds will break into.

If you take a/d s and find within 2 or 3 days your mood is significantly elevated and you're suddenly full of new energy and not wanting/needing therapy etc- you may be bipolar.

[moonlight52]

That is exactly right we talking about depression and bipolar.I am seeing a psychiatrist and after trying many different medications finally we got the right ones.(But I do get afraid which was demonstrated here on the board. The mix up feelings I showed on this board I am very sorry about that sam vaknin thing.I did not handle myself well and I am very sorry for that. This goes out to everyone I am truly sorry)The only time I need talk therapy is when a crisis comes along otherwise I see my doctor every 3 months.So at this time I am taking meds and before  I was diagnosed I had talk therapy only and suffered greatly but I have bipolar maybe its different than depression.I know there are others with alot to say about depression.
Moonlight

[moonlight52]

Hi  my hubby has done research on omega-3 s flax seed oil supplements there is one he sez is good for add the supplement is French tree bark "PYCNOGENOL"sold by swanson the American Indians were really into
tree bark you can google it.All of these gentle ways to take care of depression would be the way to go until you see that a more intensive method is needed
Moonlight

[write]

healthy eating, exercise, dietary supplements to answer deficits- it's all part of a whole.

But nothing but nothing can help you except an experienced psychiatrist if you develop psychosis which is the outcome of prolonged depression or mania.

Believe me- I've taken Omega 3 to the max until the tummy upsets curtailed the experiment...it at best made me feel slightly well for a couple of days.

Could it cure mood disorder? No, of course not.

Nothing save reprogramming my brain will do that- it's just now living out a training time to teach me to sit around with agitation, unresolved emotions, and not to go running around acting out to try and get resolution: that's living with bipolar ( or other variations of mental ilness )

Depression is a severe mental illness which requires a decent specialist to diagnose and medicate. It's been taken up by modern parlence to be diluted to 'a sad mood' or a 'bad day'. Not the same.

Counselling is something each person has to work out for themselves, piece by piece, to make peace with their past, to recover.

Sam Vaknin?
I have never forgotten my first forays into personality disorder where he not only thougbt it- he WAS it.
I feel sorry for him, he was neglected as we all were.

But- if we were responding here on Voicelessness to him and it turned out to be HIS forums- it would finish me off in terms of looking for support online.
Trust is a fragile thing at best- but online it's transient to the point it may not exist.

There are no cures for bipolar...it's like anythign else- learn to liev with it.

[moonlight52]

Write Thanks for the sane point of view on Mr.Vaknin I sure will not let it slip from my grasp .The moon does wax and wane
   Moonlight

[Hopalong]

Depression is a severe mental illness which requires a decent specialist to diagnose and medicate. It's been taken up by modern parlence to be diluted to 'a sad mood' or a 'bad day'. Not the same.

I hear you, Write. I agree, severe depression likely needs something other than home-grown methods. But for just-moderate depression maybe they're worth a try and then "stage up" to Rx?

I'm reading a wonderful book on depression, btw: Lincoln's Melancholy: How Depression Challenged a President and Fueled His Greatness, by Joshua Wolf Shenk. It's a very different biography of Lincoln that focuses on his psychological life. The author had also suffered serious clinical depression. It's fascinating what Lincoln went through and how he and his community tried to treat it.

Hops

[Brigid]

healme,
I suffered from severe situational depression and anxiety during the break-up of the marriage.  When just therapy wasn't making it better, my T sent me to a psychiatrist for eval and med management.  I agree with write that this is a must.  I had tried some AD's prescribed by my OB/GYN and had a very bad reaction to two different ones.  I had no problems with anything the psych prescribed.  Just because meds were not successful in the past, does not mean they don't work for you.  There are many varieties on the market that target different parts of the brain, so sometimes it takes time to figure out the med and dosage.  Because I wasn't able to eat at the time the psych saw me initially, she also put me on an anti-psychotic for a short time to get my appetite started.  It truly was an overnight success.  The AD's take longer to get into your system and you need to be patient with results.  I certainly recommend combining them with therapy. 

I have been off all meds for 2 years and am doing fine now, but they really were a Godsend at the time.  I don't think they masked anything, just cleared my mind and allowed me to function in a more focused manner--very important when you're in the throws of divorce.

Brigid

[write]

I was just talking to a friend last week about mental illness:

there is SUCH huge denial about it.

My friend is clearly falling apart- she is now having dreams and daydreams and premonitions where she predicts the future. She looks terrible, is clearly self-medicating with alcohol, is receiving 'therapy' from a 'friend'....dating a guy who has another wife and child despite the fact it is tearing her apart...

Yet-

I am pretty confident that I am the only person who will quietly say to her: I think this is an illness. Your body and mind can only take so much strain and stress. Please go talk to a psychiatrist and take care of your mental health.

How do I know this?

Because when I got my most sick I remember in particular my son calling his father and saying 'mummy's dying, I'm frightened' and though he drove through the night to get to me, called 2 of my dearest friends- who incidentally are a doctor and a former mental health nursing sister-to come to me because they were geographically closer....

They were great, gave me huge love and unconditional support. But I did not get any help that weekend or any weekend soon.

Despite my OBVIOUS psychosis it was rationalised away and not one of these people suggested I went to hospital or saw a mental health doctor.

In fact it was me who took myself there some weeks down the line as a coincidence from being somewhat delusional.

Everything has its place, but if you're mentally unwell- seek advice from an expert.

2 experts- yourself and an experienced psych physician. When those two factors come together you're on the road to recovery.

[Hopalong]

Write, this is a very sobering story:

a doctor and a former mental health nursing sister-to come to me because they were geographically closer........ I did not get any help.......Despite my OBVIOUS psychosis it was rationalised away and not one of these people suggested I went to hospital or saw a mental health doctor..................In fact it was me who took myself there

Thank you for sharing this.

A doctor friend and mental health nurse friend wouldn't even recommend it. It's almost as though out of "friendship" people try to help you with denial, or don't want to face their own denial? Or maybe at some level they themselves still bought into the stigma so they were reluctant to help a friend face the severity of her illness, where it was easier to see strangers as having a mental illness? Well, that's water over the dam but a very sobering story.

I'm so glad you had the innate (even if accidental) wisdom to get the help you needed.

I hope your currently falling-apart friend will hear you. I feel confident you can get through to her.

Blessings on your head for helping her,
Hops

[healme]

Thank you for all the responses and suggestions.

I have been taking St. John's Wart and a good multi-vitamin for the past six weeks or more. It has helped some but there are still days that I just don't move. And the anxiety is great. This past weekend has been the worst yet.

I think I do want to deny that I have a depression problem. I have tried Paxil (which was a horrible experience) a long time ago and Effexor, recently. With Effexor, I just seemed to "flatline". I let the kids get away with murder, I say okay to anything and everything, don't cry and am real mellow. When I came off Effexor (7 mths ago), it was like someone had turned the light on with my feelings. I could not stop crying, I was angry for weeks (was it "anger" I had stored up?) and my mood swings were all over the board. I did not like the out of control feeling. Yes, I did taper off of it with Dr's orders. It took about 5 weeks before I felt halfway normal again.

While I am in the worst depression yet....I do feel that my T is guiding me in the right direction. I don't want to stop feeling.

The Dr who has prescribed them in the past is my ob/gyn. I hear some of you saying that I need a Psychologist. But aren't they just going to keep trying me on different things until "one" is good like my OB/GYN?  Can you explain to me the difference?

[movinon]

Healme -

I haven't read any of the other posts yet, but I HATE meds!!!!!!!!!!!  I think they are prescribed at the drop of a hat and then people need more meds to counteract the side-effects of the first med and on and on.  

We are more medicated than any country in the world...we are also lazier, greedier, and more selfish.  If at all possible, I like to learn how to DEAL with the feelings rather than medicate.  

Sorry for the caps, I just feel VERY strongly about all the drugs!!!!  I suppose I would consider meds if I had a diagnosed condition AND couldn't handle what was coming up in T.

Movinon