Movinon: My understanding is that in a community property state (like my current, can't wait to get out of here, state), ALL debts AND assets are split down the middle. If your husband has an expensive automobile that is paid for (as in an asset, not just a debt) then you are entitled to half of it's value. Your attorney needs to tell you what you are responsible for and not. I know plenty of people, who just before filing for divorce, go buy an expensive car, because after filing, they would be solely responsible for that debt. At least that's what I was told 10 years ago (but I "couldn't" do that.....too afraid, actually, and then my car absolutely died 6 months into the seperation (pre divorce) and I had to purchase another by myself!!!)
I am perplexed as to why your attorney can't tell you the whole picture of things, and not just the "uh oh" about the tax issue.
Follow your gut.I honestly think the more I follow my intuition the better off I am.....mostly because the attorneys are the ONLY ones making out in these situations (Oh, yeah, and the NNNNidiots, they just love this fight energy).
I think my attorney is great, but it never gets past me that while I fight for my freedom, her kids' college fund is growing! Ask your attorney some very hard questions...tell him or her to look out for you and tell you everything, think of the whole of things, and not just immediate reactions to things....JEEZ louise! I sure as heck do enough of that myself, without my lawyers help. She needs to be the smart/detached one.
AS far as emails, I have made the mistake of opening emails right before bed time (or legal mailings, etc) and it is such a mistake... I am so much better at letting go of the negative energy that just JUMPS off the page/monitor and down my throat....but I know what I can take and what I can't now. Just don't open any email at night. Only open them when you can talk to your attorney.....or....just open, don't read, forward to attorney and read later.
This is what I told some 1st graders yesterday when the class idiot was bothering them (you know this stuff....teacher stuff...use it on yourself):
"well, honey, what if he was not there? Can you pretend he isn't making those sounds? That's called ignoring. You have my permission to ignore him if you like. You don't have to care about that if you don't want to!"
You probably know I am under attack legally right now. Like never before...and actually, although my ex would like to believe it's directed at me, I've stepped aside...and it is hitting my daughter.
Nevertheless, the other night I had a very restless sleep, where I felt lots of negative energy coming AT me. In the morning, I was lucky enought to talk to one of my mentors and she helped me picture a glass body....all around me, about 6 inches thick...on the outside of my aura, arm's length out and around me, like a bubble. It's flexible but nothing can get in...that I don't want in. And tonight, when I had to sit right near the sniveling rodent and his wife at my son's concert, I felt totally protected. And I did it myself, with my own belief and mind.
OH, and this helped, too: I pictured him naked, with his shaved legs (I kid you not) and his bad skin, for everyone to see, with a GREEN "thingy" and I just laughed inside. Then when he and his wife were being innapropriate audience members (as always) thinking they were so "cool" , I just smiled.
I also see that when he rages and gets stomping mad, that he is like a little cartoon, getting smaller and smaller, til his voice is tiny, like a helium voice and he is small enough for someone to just step on, like an annoying bug.
Anyway, your lawyer should be thinking of these things for you (like the car). And if there is anyway to step out of the energy with him....DO IT (like filing seperately maybe) Lawyers are lousy therapists, by the way.
