I wrote a few weeks ago about my mom calling me to get me to do her taxes, and how I called her back and gave her other options, but that I wasn't necessary or willing to do them myself. She got angry and proceeded to tell me to get over myself and how horrible I was to her, etc... and I realized I was getting drawn into arguing with her and ended the call. I recorded the entire thing on a mini-cassette recorder to see if I was having a tone, and actually have proof of her being angry, irrational and mean. She basically told me that she was cutting me out of her life because I was so selfish and cold to her, and I told her that was her choice.
I didn't expect to hear from her after that.
She called me today at work. She was very polite, trying to be nice. She mentioned that she had a grocery store gas credit (I don't know if everyone has these, but around my city, the grocery stores have cards that give you discounts in the store and off of there gas stations... spend XX dollars, get 10¢ a gallon off a fill-up) that she wasn't going to be able to use, and gas prices being as high as they are, she thought I could use it. I told her no, my hubby and I had both filled up in the last couple of days, but thanks for the offer. I was polite, and asked after her health, she mentioned that she got her taxes done, we talked for a few minutes over very superficial things and then she ended the call.
I'm totally weirded out right now. She is acting like the last year never happened. I don't know if she is just trying to pretend it never happened, or if she is trying to start over with me. She has never admitted that she has been demanding and abusive towards me, never apologized to me for forcing me to be her caretaker, never accepted any blame for the state of our relationship thus far.
I had told her in the past that she doesn't respect me and that I don't want a relationship with someone who can't treat me like an adult, but without her actually acknowledging her role in this mess, I don't know this is going to work out any differently than the last couple of times we tried to make a fresh start.
Do I keep it light and superficial, or do I avoid her calls in the future? I just don't know what to do anymore. I miss her, but I am heartsick at the thought of being drawn back into the mess.
I just can't keep dancing this same dance. The shoes hurt and the music is so offkey...
