Eyes

[blue]

Eyes we are told are the windows to the soul
I have no trouble looking into some one's eyes unless I do not like what I "Feel" when i look
Then i will turn away or I do nto want them to know ME
I know I do not like to let certain people see MY eyes because i know i do not want them knowing the how I feel
I can read some one when i see their eyes. I can read their moods and feelings and i can tell if they are lieing
When i first met my N b/f he could not look into my eyes and was always turning away or looking at my shoulder and i could tell he was really shy and uncomfortable (couldn't live up to the BIG picture he painted for me). I know then that it was because he did not want me to look that closely at him and that he was afraid what HE would read in my eyes (That I didn't find him attractive or smart etc) and he could not deal with the rejection
Is that empathy for an N or concern about how he would look to me?
I think when we do not want anyone to truly "see" us we cannot look at someone's eyes and they don't wish us to look at their's
blue

[Anansi]

Hi Blue,

Sounds like you've broken through to the inside.  He's a lucky man.  I admire your love and understanding for him.  I guess he's moved by your warmth.  Thank you for sharing.  I hope you'll keep us up to date with how things go between you and him.  If he were a woman, would you be friends with her?

Hey, what do people here think about Asians?  When you see the eyes of an Asian, either in real or on TV (Lucy Liu, Sandra Oh, ..), what vibes do you or don't you get? 
I'd also like to ask about pupils dilating?  Let's say you're talking with a friend and you see them dialate, what does it mean to you?
And also, how about just very large pupils.  What do they mean?  I'm not finding much on the net.
Does my asking so many question trigger anyone?  Am I showing too much Nness?  Please tell me anything you like.  The only thing I ask is that you don't suggest to me that I go see a "the-rapist." 

Trying to feel,
Anansi

[mum]

Anansi, I am interested in your questions about "Asians".  I guess I don't really understand what you mean when you ask how people feel about Asians. I would prefer not to think what you ask is inappropriate so could you explain what you mean?

[Anansi]

Stormchild,

What feelings were brought up for you after reading my post?

[reallyME]

Stormchild,

I have heard many stories of people having negative experiences with therapists as well as therapists having negative dealings with their patients.  Personally, I have had nothing but success and good results in therapy, praise God!  I can't generalize and say all therapists are bad, although I know some are rather unorthodox in their practices and have even molested and exploited some clientele.  I just have a really positive attitude about therapy; especially cognitive therapy for N's, BPD's other personality disordered folk as well as their children.  If I could, I'd make it mandatory for people to be screened for personality disorders and then counseled/treated. 

ReallyME

[mountainspring]

Anansi... it sounds like you have been hurt by a therapist.  I'm sorry you've had a bad experience.  I've been hurt by some too.  I agree with Stormy though.  Dr. Grossman is a very kind therapist who has put up this board as a service.  He's not paid for it.  Not all therapists are bad, some are very helpful.  I'm not suggesting you go to therapy.  Do what's right for you.