It was suggested to me that I should start a thread rather than just jump onto other people's.
I haven't started one here for many months so I guess I'll give it a shot and try not to ruffle too many feathers in the process. Maybe it will help others understand my POV more, maybe not. In any event I have nothing else to do this morning.
I'm sure most people here are old enough to remember Mutual of Omaha's wild kingdom and its fairly dull but somehow endearing host Marlin Perkins and his big lummox of a side kick Jim.
Marlin would start each show next to a globe, usually in his ubiquitous safari jacket. He'd give the globe a spin and then stop it with his finger to show us where we were going to end up that week.
Well this week his finger lands on the Northern Appalachian mountains, home of the mudpuppy.
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Cut to a clear, burbling, shady mountain stream.
Marlin begins his voiceover in his somewhat nasal Barney Fife drone........
"The mudpuppy is a large, amphibious, salamander of eastern North America. He lives in freshwater streams and his is a peaceful existance for the most part.
The mudpuppy originally inhabited lowland swamps with his extremely close relative, the aggressive and venomous water mocassin. The vindictive nature of his close relations eventually drove the mudpuppy to find friendlier climes.
The female of the species is a sleek and beautiful creature with a powerful mind and a great deal of wisdom. Unfortunately she is also prone to developing life threatening diseases which causes her mate untold grief and worry.
The juvenile mudpup is a cuddly and good hearted critter although they have a marked tendency to develop a smart mouth in their adolescent stage and cause the adults considerable exasperation. Once through the larval stage this tendency tends to abate.
The male mudpuppy is a not particularly attactive beast although his mate often reassures him he is 'cute'. His brain is relatively small and primitive although most have a well developed sense of humor. Unfortunately certain specimens tend toward some pretty lame punnery.
The mudpuppy is not a particularly social creature although it does enjoy interacting with its peaceable water logged neighbors. It is indifferent to the mudpuppy whether his neighbor is the lightest skinned trout, a black shelled fresh water mollusk or the crawdad with its brown exoskeleton. The mudpuppy believes, as a famous black mollusk once said that a person (or crustacean) should be judged by the content of his character and not the color of his skin, shell or exoskeleton.
There are occasionally disputes with his good hearted neighbors of course, but they are usually resolved amicably, often with a quick game of rock-paper-scissors.
However there is a predator in the mudpuppy's realm. More on that after this message from our sponsor, Mutual of Omaha."
Now, this is where Marlin would tell us that M of O was an extraordinarily magnanimous insurance company and it behooved each viewer to call his agent up as soon as the show was over and begin to enjoy the benfits of having an insurance company that would gladly place itself in receivership if that's what it took to pay your claim.
After the commercial the show would be livened up by the introduction of some predator, presumably because even the most enthusiastic nature lover can only take watching a newt stare at a fresh water clam for so long before they start wondering what else is on. Usually the predator was introduced by Jim, and in his younger days, even Marlin himself, jumping out of a hovering helicopter onto the back of some unsuspecting Amazonian anaconda contentedly digesting an over sized South American rodent or a torpid, sunbathing alligator in the Everglades. They'd thrash around in the mud for a bit with some closeups of the beast's gaping alimentary canal, presumably to assure us there was ample room down there for Jim, Marlin and an oversized rodent should the carnivore succeed in getting his stomach outside all three of them. After Marlin tripped over Jim's boots for the fifth time they'd get a lasso around the animals snout, jab a bright plastic tag in its backside, weigh it with a butcher's scale and a canvas sling and jot down how much it weighed in their notebook. Then they'd let the dazed and understandably disgruntled beast go on about its business wondering what the heck that was all about, sadder but wiser for the experience.
Unfortunately, apparently when M of O was suffering from an inordinant number of claims they would economize by just having Marlin narrate some cheap generic footage of the predator for the last half of the show. Such is the case today.
Cut to a large turtle scuttling along the bottom of the stream.
Marlin resumes.......
"The snapping turtle also inhabits tha same waters as the mudpuppy. While the snapping turtle is cantankerous and unduly irritable, it like the mudpuppy, fills an ecological niche and serves a purpose. Many of the mudpuppy's neighbors are quite friendly with the snapping turtles and often approach quite closely. They seldom seem to notice that most of them come up missing an eye, fin or arm occasionally after the encounter, or perhaps they do notice but consider it worth the experience. The mudpuppy has been known to lose a toe or two itself, but its usual practice is to haul itself up onto the bank for a little dappled sunshine while the waters are roiled. While sunning himself he sometimes notes that there are considerable numbers of others like him, on the bank, avoiding the frothing waters. Occasionally he notes that he can see some of the more retiring, long time denizens of the pool quietly departing, permanently, for more peaceful waters. He will sometimes slip back into the stream to point this out but his calls usually go unnoticed, or the turtles and those engaging with them tell him that is really none of their concern, so having done what he could he struggles back up the bank and dozes.
Because the mudpuppy's brain is so primitive it may never dawn on him that the best course is merely to stay on his bank until the waters settle and clear, but the mudpuppy is nothing if not hard headed.
Occasionally one or more of the turtles will let the puppy know, in no uncertain terms, that they consider conflict of any sort a useful and extremely nourishing process and do not appreciate his calls for calm. On these occasions the mudpuppy sometimes has the insight that perhaps for them the benefits of conflict are real or they perceive them to be or at the very least they enjoy it and the best response for him is merely to say as Greta Garbo did(a famous crawdad who also did a little acting on the side) "I just want to be left alone". Because the mudpuppy is content with himself this request is often misinterpereted as condescencion or perhaps a lack of self examination. But its not. Like his cousin Underdog, mudpuppies are humble but lovable. Sometimes they just get tired of listening to all the shouting. After all sound does propagate better under water.
The particular mudpuppy we are studying today does slowly seem to be realizing the grassy bank is a fine place to reside for extended periods. On the bank he can communicate privately with like minded amphibians while the other denizens of the stream can enjoy interacting with and occasionally being partially eaten by the turtles. The waters always calm and clear. There is room enough for mudpuppys and snapping turtles in the pool. They just need to fill their respective niches and keep out of each others way.
Join us next week when Jim jumps into a pool of swarming pirahnas (cut to Jim covered with bandages).............. on Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom"
Disclaimer: Everything in this post was merely my personal opinion and was not intended as a factual statement(obvious, I know, but I need to say it).
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