I was deciding whether to post this on here or not, but thought I would give it a shot because 6, 8, 12, 18 and most of all 21 leapt out at me. xx
Zen and the Wisdom of Life
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave
me the hell alone.
2. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
on the same night.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air -- it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
5. No one is listening until you fart.
6. Always remember you are unique -- just like everyone else.
7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
8. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
9. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have
their shoes.
10. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
11. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
12. If you lend someone £10 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.
13. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
14. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
15. Don't worry--It only seems kinky the first time.
16. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
17. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
put it back in your pocket.
18. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
19. Insulation tape is like the Force--It has a light side and a dark side, and
it holds the universe together.
20. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
21. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are
moving.
22. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
23. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our ass...then things get worse.
24. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tyre.
25. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".
26. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
27. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Thought For The Day
"Good looks catch the eye but a GOOD personality catches the heart. You're blessed with both!"
