So around September of last year, a girl I'd known for about 2 years contacts me out of the blue to tell me that she's planning to move back to the city I live in. She'd left a few years prior to be with a guy she married (after only knowing him for a month BTW through internet communication). I asked her when the two of them were going to be here and she told me that it was only going to be her and that the relationship failed; she needed to move back to find stability.
A couple of weeks go by of us talking on the phone quite frequently before she asks me if I need a roommate. At the time, I did, and told her it would be cool if she wanted to move in with me; she told me she wasn't going to be back until December, but would pay me for two months rent anyway. Cool, I thought. Well, from this point forward, for some reason, our conversations started getting deeper and deeper. We found out that we could chat about any topic under the sun (sometimes for a good 4-5 hours) and had A LOT in common. It was during this time that I started getting presents in the mail (clothing and movies usually with a note or some kind of poetry telling me how I had completely changed her perspective on life and that she'd never met anyone like me before). She's an incredibly gifted artist as well, so she started drawing me portraits too.
Well, I was completely floored. Aside from being incredibly sweet, intelligent, and talented, here was a girl that was also VERY beautiful. And she loved everything about me that I'd always wanted someone to appreciate. Needless to say, I was on cloud 9. I thought I'd finally found the one perfect person I should spend the rest of my life with; I couldn't quite figure out how her husband had managed to fuck things up with such an incredible person. I just simply assumed he didn't understand her the way I did since that was the way she characterized it.
Well, December came and I went to pick her up from the airport. The moment I saw her in the terminal, I was breathless. I knew she was beautiful but something about her now was just stunning (as it turns out, she'd had 6 plastic surgery procedures over the course of the past few years and was still only 29). The night she arrived at my apartment, we were immediately all over each other; by far and away the best sex I'd ever had. She was more passionate in bed than any other woman I'd met. I couldn't believe how perfect this all was; she was DEFINITELY my soulmate. The only things that bothered me were the fact that she could spend enormous amounts of money on clothes (800 bucks I saw her blow on jeans in one store), that she took FOREVER getting ready to go out (actually made me very late to a DJing gig I had at a nightclub), and she dressed in extremely revealing clothes (no bra, could see right through her shirts, and very short skirts).
The following day, she all of a sudden told me she needed to pack her stuff and go stay at her father's house because her husband asked her to take care of some business for her. Wait a minute! I thought she was divorced, or getting a divorce. It was also during this time that she told me that she bought a roundtrip ticket and had to go back to Los Angeles on the 28th (in order to pack up her stuff to come back). She also told me at this time that if she couldn't get her old job back here in this city (working for a plastic surgeon) she didn't know how long she'd stay in LA. WTF I thought??? Something isn't making any damn sense here. Nonetheless, like an idiot, I subjugated my own instincts that were telling me to fucking run in the other direction because by this time, I was already head over heels in love with this girl and wanted to do anything for her.
So the next three weeks go by of us having incredibly passionate sex every night, and the two of us talking about how much we love each other (me also showering her with compliments, and catering to her every whim which she ate up voraciously). It was now that she started telling me about what a complete asshole her husband was, how she caught him trying to cheat on her, etc. etc. Of course, I bought it all and started to hate this guy, thinking to myself, "Who in his right mind could cheat on such an amazing girl?" This was how she ended up sucking me in completely because now, I was in the position of wanting to help her. Poor girl, I thought. All she needs is someone like me in her life to show her how much she is really cared for. This in spite of the fact that she casually told me that she and her husband not only still lived together, but still shared a bed!!! Things were definitely not as 'over' as she made them out to be.
Well, the day comes when she ends up having to go back to L.A. I'm a total fucking wreck because her husband has caught wind of what she's been doing out here and DESPERATELY wants to patch things up with her. I knew from the moment she was going to land, he was going to pull out all of the stops to try to win her back. I told her how worried I was that I would never see her again; her words to me were "Baby, I may be legally committed to him, but I LOVE you! I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else!". Like a fool, I bought it.
Sure enough, her husband shows up at the airport with flowers, basically begging her to stay with him. She says 'no', that they're through and that she's completely in love with me. Well, he's totally crushed; she tells me over the phone that he can't sleep, can't eat, and was basically 'making an ass of himself' by crying about the whole incident to her, then hours later yelling at her for being so selfish. She also casually tells me that they're still sharing a bed together and that he's trying every night to have sex with her even though she doesn't want to (she says she stayed at the house because it was 'convenient' for her). Well, this upset me to no fucking end, but like a dumbass, I kept my mouth shut and didn't say anything because I figured that the whole situation was stressful enough for her.
This rollercoaster goes on for about a week and a half with her calling me every day let me know what was going on as I was losing my mind wondering what the hell was going on over there. Then, one day, I got a phonecall telling me that she and her husband made an arrangement and that she agreed not to flaunt her new relationship with me in front of him. In other words, she couldn't call me as the two of them were always with each other and it bothered him seeing her on the phone with me. OK, I thought. She was going to be back in 3 days (on a plane ticket I paid for). I could live with that; she'd already shipped her stuff so I knew she was going to be coming back.
The night before she was supposed to arrive, she sent a text message to my phone:
"I'm going to call the airline and reschedule the ticket for 2 weeks from now. Don't worry, I'll pay for it. I love you and miss you!"
At this point, I should have run. Instead, the next time I spoke to her, I told her everything was cool, even though the idea of a girl I was madly in love with sleeping in the same bed with another guy didn't really appeal to me. The bottom line, I thought to myself, was that if I'm patient, and show her how I can handle this situation without getting upset, she'll appreciate it. After all, this is a stressful time for her, I thought. She doesn't need any extra pressure from me (even though it was driving me fucking insane).
The next 2 weeks go by and I barely hear from her. We talked maybe a total of 4 or 5 times, and the conversations didn't last more than 2-3 minutes. The day she arrives, she tells me, "I'm going to stay at my father's; I'll call you later". This BTW, while I was on my way to the airport; she gave me absolutely no prior indication that her plans had changed.
That night, we talk on the phone and she tells me that she needs space, doesn't want a relationship right now, etc. etc. She also tells me that she doesn't feel like the two of us 'shared anything special'.
Needless to say, I was gutted. I couldn't believe these words were actually coming out of her mouth. Just a month ago, this girl thought I was the most amazing guy on the face of the Earth, and now THIS?!?!?! What the fuck did I do wrong? I just spent en entire month of absolute hell worrying about her, bought her a plane ticket to come back here, was totally patient with her, and this is how she treats me??? I didn't understand. Then again, I thought, maybe she's just been through so much lately that she needs time to sort things out for herself.
We ended up spending the next month simply talking on the phone (no sex, just enjoying conversation again which I was fine with). I really loved this girl and I wanted her to take time getting things together for herself. After all, that incredibly loving person I fell for will be back soon once the trauma of what she's been through subisdes. For a few days, she thought she'd try to work things out with her husband, but that didn't happen.
We end up going out one night, and she receives a phone call on her cell. It's another guy on the line, and she says to him "I'll be over later sweetie, I've just got to pick up my car at my friend's house". I'm like, what the fuck??? I ask her who it is, and she tells me that it's a guy she's seeing and that she's been staying at his house. She also tells me that he's 'really sweet to her, and really cute'. I could not believe this shit. How could the same person that, at one point, really seemed to care about me and thought I was the most important person in the world to her, say these things so casually? Does she not know how much it hurts me or does she simply not care? How could she so quickly just jump from relationship to relationship like this? Was nothing she said to me the truth??????
I tell her that it's probably best that we not see each other for a while simply because I'm so hurt by the situation. She agrees and 2 months go by without us talking.
Then out of the blue, she calls me to tell me she's going out one night and doesn't want us to awkwardly bump into each other at a nightclub she knows I go to. Well, we end up meeting there (she's dressed VERY provocatively BTW) and I start off the conversation by telling her that I'm sorry if I wasn't more understanding of her situation. She replies by telling me that she 'doesn't need a relationship or any pressure' right now. She also tells me that she's been thinking about me a lot for the past 2 months; she also tells me that she 'still has feelings' for me. Well, again, I start thinking 'Maybe she's getting her head together now; maybe things have changed for her'.
As we leave the club, I notice that she's driving in the wrong direction to go to her father's house. I call and ask her where she's going; she says she's going to a 'friend's' house. I ask her if this is the same 'friend' she was staying with after she landed. She says yes. I ask her why she still presents herself as single to so many people despite sleeping in another man's bed, AND being still legally married. Her response is:
"I'm not committed to this guy I'm staying with; he doesn't really give me everything I want; I'm only here because it's convenient and close to work".
Unfuckingbelievable. I basically snapped on the phone, and went into an hour long tirade telling her what an enormously selfish person she is, and that she doesn't care about anyone but herself.
I came to find out days later that her husband in L.A.:
a. Paid her cell phone bills for her (the same one she used to talk to me for months before she came out here).
b. Paid all of the rent and utilities; she contributed absolutely nothing.
c. Worked his ass off to do this with 3 jobs while she only worked 3 days a week to afford her jeans/makeup habit. She complained about having to work at all toward the end of their relationship and made it clear to him that her goal in life is to 'not work at all'.
I also found out through friends that every relationship she's been in has been characterized by this nonsense; sucking people dry until they have absolutely nothing left to give, then moving on to the next victim.
Anyway, I know this has been long-winded but this was really one of the only forums I could post this story up on. It's been rough because I want so badly to believe that the wonderful person I fell in love with still exists, though I know she doesn't and probably never did. It's an awful feeling to know that you've been completely taken advantage of. Hopefully time will heal this wound.
