Glad I know an N

[gratitude28]

OK, in continuance with our positive threads, I'd like to add a bit more here. I am glad I have had to deal with an N in my life. Here's why:

I know what kind of childhood I want my children to have. I am getting to be the kid I never got to be, but with them. I also recognize boundaries, though, and know how to be the parent in addition to enjoying the child. I have read extensively on childhood behavior and I try my best to do what will be good for them. My children are wonderful, well-adjusted people who are a delight to their teachers, friends and adults with whom they come in contact. I have taught them to be grateful for family, for the comfortable life we have, for the fact that we have had an opportunity to see so much.

I know how to be kind to people. I have seen enough negativity to last a lifetime. Sometimes I go a bit overboard... i.e., I worry too much about making other people happy, but I would rather do that than be unkind. I enjoy people of all kinds, backgrounds, lifestyles. I do not critisize others, even if I do not wholly believe in their way of life. I have explained that to my children too. When they ask why other children get to do something we don't do, I have told them that those are their family rules. Live and Let Live.

I have learned to save money and have a sound financial picture. Form watching this need to spend, spend, spend and HAVE everything, I have learned to instead be grateful for what I do have and that to have financial security is a lot nicer that to have the latest gimmick.

I have learned that there are no "better people." Being wealthy or well known does not make a person "better" in any way. I don't care who you are... if you are nice, you are nice. And if you are not, you are not worth my time.

I am not sorry I had an N in my life. How self-centered would I have been had I not been able to see these things? I can say my life is better for it.

Love, Beth

[Stormchild]

Beth, 'you rock!'

[moonlight52]

Hi Beth and Stormy ,

        I would not be the person I am today if not for my father and overcoming his abuse.Just typing these words make me
feel so real  .Some how he can not hurt me its over .I wish to say I have learned more about LOVE and COMPASSION  from a very sad cruel man my  father. I do wish for his sake he had not suffered nor I .But suffering seems to be included in life .Maybe its not what happens to you in life as much as how you
handle it.Some are abused and they are bitter some learn love and compassion.N's are what men may call Evil the absence of LOVE
Nothing is stronger than Love.
Moon
The N's stay the same only there victims change 

[gratitude28]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Moon))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[moonlight52]

Hi Beth ,  This is very true life has sorrow and joy .I have thu a lot of work over come the pain of abuse .IN turn my heart
has learned gifts of love .I imagine everyone of us can say the same thank you BETH .
Love to you
Moon

[mudpuppy]

Not sure I can say I'm glad about Ns.

Moon's posts always make me think of "What the World Needs Now is Love Sweet Love." by Dionne Warwick.

This thread makes me think of "What the World Needs Now is Another Folk Singer Like I Need a Hole in My Head" by Cracker. Only substitute Narcissist for Folk Singer, unless you think we have enough of both, in which case you can put em both in, although it makes it hard to sing.

mud

[gratitude28]

You are a hoot, mud!!!!  Hello... we're looking at the bright side?!?! OK, so I'm one of those annoying people who TRIES to make everything positive.
All right Mr. Mud, I have a good idea. Why don't you start a "half empty" thread????? Hee hee.
I'll give you some things to add to it:
I haven't owned a car that is under 15 years old in 10 years and they usually break down in the middle of a horrendous rainstorm, including one time when my windshield wiper flew off during a typhoon and while I was in the middle lane of the highway.
My house is covered in various types and sizes (up to ginormous) of snails due to our 25 days of constant rain here.
My dog crapped in the house yesterday just for fun, and because he's sick of being in the house for 25 days straight.
My son's guppy diied for some mysterious reason.
Only 21 days until I get to return to the house of my juvenile incarceration.
There's my half empty list!!!!!
Feel better!
 
Love, Beth

[mudpuppy]

Hi Beth,

Just being a wise guy. I have been trying to figure out a way to work that song title into a post and you figured it out for me. That's a positive thing. So you see, I'm not a half empty kind of guy. I'm half full of it.

mud

[IamNewtoMe]

I guess I can't say I'm glad that I grew up with an N, but I can certainly find that cloud's silver lining.  As a result of that emotional abuse, I developed some skills that I can use as strengths (though all of these are double-edged swords):

I can be empathetic and compassionate.

I learned how not to raise my kid.

I know how to work really hard on a relationship when things seem a bit rocky (It's worth it to work on a good relationship).

There must be more here, but i am just starting to explore this idea.  Thanks, Beth, for the opportunity to think about it. 

And good luck on returning to the house of your "juvenile incarceration"!!

[Hopalong]

I don't want to be an ingrate, and I know one could be grateful for everything life hands you...but I'm not that evolved, I guess.

I would be grateful if I'd never known an N, ever. It's a pointless wish because Nism is in the human population like a viruIs. I do think extreme cultural conditions...extreme wealth or poverty...might make it worse, but that's just a theory.

The only reason I am grateful to have lost much of my innocence and joy is because it makes me less naive and vulnerable.

Of course I'd rather live in a world that was not full of predators, so we all could be naive and vulnerable.

Then again, that's a naive wish.

This inarticulate ramble adds up to me NOT being glad I know Nism. (Except in the sense that I'm glad I know not to put my hand on a stovetop burner when it's on.)

Oy. Pretzel brain.

Hops