A little story I wanted to share with you all....it was given to me by my life coach...
The story of the butterfly
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.
One day a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours
as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further.
So the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and
snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily but
it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch it,
expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge
and expand enough to support the body,
Neither happened!
In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around.
It was never able to fly.
What the man in his kindness
and haste did not understand:
The restricting cocoon and the struggle
required by the butterfly to get through the opening
was a way of forcing the fluid from the body
into the wings so that it would be ready
for flight once that was achieved.
Sometimes struggles are exactly
what we need in our lives.
Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.
We will not be as strong as we could have been
and we would never fly.***************************************************************
Having an Nmother ( if i can draw a positive out of this at all!) has made me an incredibly strong person...actually, being a mother myself has contributed to that! Cutting her out of my life, i feel so much relief, like such a big weight has been lifted...
I feel as though I am strong enough to be able to dig myself out of the hole she's dumped me in - i mean that both literally and figuratively! I moved with my two young children, interstate to be closer to her after my partner turned violent, and had to stay with her for close to 3 months, the whole time she was threatening to kick me out, yet at the same time ignoring me, Her and my younger brother(who also has N tendancies, and is the 'chosen one', he's also gayer than christmas - the daughter she never had!) were supremely horrible whilst I was trying to rebuild my life...it was her own daughter who had just gone through a violent breakup with a long term (7 years) partner, and was left homeless, jobless etc, yet all she cared about was socialising with my brothers fag hags, worrying about how they were splitting up with their boyfriends of 5 weeks! So, now I am living in the same state as her (after she pressured me to make a decision to stay near her or go back to my <one time only> violent partner) , with her as my only support where it comes to the kids, and I have just cut all ties with her -what a wonderful situation! <sarcasm>. I am planning on moving back to where we used to live - at least the children will be able to be near their father, and grandparents...
So thats where i'm at right now...I know there's not a lot of background info here....I will work on that one - I think one of the effects my mother has had is to confuse the H*ll out of me, and make me think I am crazy, so much so that I find it hard to talk about it any kind of way that makes sense....Reading through everyone's posts here is actually helping a lot - There is a lot I can identify with here, it helps to start to make some sense out of things, in an orderly sort of way, that might actually be understood, not only by me, but maybe by some of you, too? anyways, I will leave that for another day, it's going to take me a while to get it all out of my head, and on to the screen
E.
