LoH is completely right, Jackie:
If you really are outta there, Jackie, the single best thing you could do is stop taking his calls. Period. Because as long as you do, you're making yourself available to him, and he sees you as someone he might still suck back in. If I were you, I would take him at his word: he is a 40-year-old adolescent who can only mumble 'I guess so' about acting badly and hurting your feelings.
Have to say my heart sank when I realized you'd hooked into having a conversation with him. You're not outta there if you're still talking or listening to him. The satisfaction of delivering a scolding and getting a babyish acknowledgment doesn't sound like the dialogue of two equal adults...it sounded more like mommy scolds Tommy.
It doesn't matter if he sheepishly acknowledged that he guessed his behavior wasn't ... whatever it was he half-assedly acknowledged. He just listed three reasons you can absolutely, foolproofly, count on him repeating that behavior if you continue to entangle yourself with him in any way, shape or form.
It's up to you...but I would be extremely careful about the perils of sexual loneliness or yearning right now. And if you're not serious about cutting off contact, then also be aware that you are making a deliberate choice to waste more of your precious time. And precious energy. And precious opportunity to create a happy life.
Did I mention I hope you will read the book
Men Who Can't Love, by Steven Carter? It's available in paperback, used, for a pittance.
he made a deal with himself to date lots of women. When he got involved with me his plan was still incomplete.
This would be ludicrous if it weren't so insulting: picture a large billboard that says, you're good enough to screw, but not good enough to alter my "plan". This man is not capable of loving you, is not into you except to use you for sex, is NOW trying to hook you back into wanting him (N-supply) and you're listening.
What's wrong with this picture is that you placed yourself in it again by taking his call and asking him that question, which gave him the opening to give you these insulting and lame-ass explanations, which left you essentially, more manipulated and rejected than before. You can stop the damage right now though, if you want to.
(I'm usually nicer than this -- please forgive my snappish tone...the reason behind that is that I relate so closely to your pattern with him and would practically remove a toe to prevent another woman, especially a perfectly terrific woman in her 40s, waste another minute of her precious life time in a N-dead end like that.)
best of luck,
Hopalong