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Unacceptable Birthday Gifts

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guestx:
One N trait that I read about on another website describes N's giving really bad gifts.  I think it claimed they only give gifts that they think you need -- not something they think you would enjoy having.  

This one make me roll because my Nmom is truly terrible at gift giving.  I usually get 2-seasons-old clothes from the clearance rack at Marshall's.  

This past Christmas I got a treature -- a 5x magnifying mirror.  Talk about an N projection!

Have any of you received gifts from your N that really made you laugh?

Simon46:
I find the similarities in this flower discussion to be quite amazing. Here’s my contribution. I sent my mother some flowers for Mothers day 2002. She was pissed at me before I sent them and had previously sent me an ugly email. She gets the flowers and emails me the following short and to the point acknowledgment:

Thank you for the flowers for Mothers Day.  They were beautiful and done in the best of taste as usual.    Mom

I said:

You are most welcome. I am glad you liked them, I thought you might throw them away after reading your last email, but I am glad you did not! I told the florist it was OK to “go wild” which they always love.

Her response:

If I left the impression in my thank you note that everything was alright you are very mistaken.  I would acknowledge a gift that anyone sent me.  I am nobody's doormat and until I am so feeble I can't, I will stand up for myself and your Dad.  If we did any major thing wrong it was to do too much for you.     Mom

I assured her that  No, she had not left that impression. Can’t you just “Feel the Love?”   I haven’t felt the desire to send her any flowers since.

Anonymous:
simon,

After she sent you an ugly email, you sent her flowers. She thanked you (sincerely, it seems) and then you said something "provocative" to her. This may perpetuate the dynamic that goes back and forth. Know what I mean?

bunny

Simon46:
Hi bunny,

I guess you mean I was provoking her by suggesting that she might throw them away? My intent was not to provoke her, but apparently it definitely did. She has reacted in this exact same way to my sibings gifts of flowers as well, stating that she would "acknowledge a gift that anyone sent."  She is trying to say "I got your flowers, but I am still pissed at you and don't you forget it (But I have good manners and would acknowledge a gift from anyone.)" But it is interesting to me to get your perspective that it read as provocative to you. I had not ever thought of that.

phoenix:
bye

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