alcohol

[WRITE]

How much do you drink?

Has anyone completely given up alcohol?

I find it doesn't agree with me and it's no longer in my diet, not really a conscious thing life's just better without it.

But I have noticed just how much some of my friends drink ( one told me her partner was so drunk he peed in the corner of the bathroom last week! ) and I guess I have been like that on and off over the years ( never peed anywhere though )

I wouldn't be interested in hanging out with a heavy drinker these days, I am already conscious of how short time is, there aren't enough hours in the day to waste any more getting drunk or waiting for someone to sober up!

[Overcomer]

Write:  I am with you here.  I used to be quite a drunk.  I drank every single night.  I went to work with a hangover 7 days a week. 

Now I am 46 and if I drink just a little, I can't sleep through the night.  I get headaches.  It just isn't worth it to me.

But I watch my husband drink every Thursday night (hey, the weekend is almost here!!!)  Every Friday night and all day Saturday.  Usually doesn't drink Sundays.  But he told me a half hour ago (which was 10 am........) that maybe if he has a beer he will be motivated enough to finish his project from yesterday.  This happens every week.

My very best friend since 2nd grade drinks every single day.  I spent the weekend over there a few months back and the party went late into Friday night and she was up Saturday drinking Bloody Mary's and Mimosas.  Then she scares away boyfriends because she has too much wine and she blacks out and gets all verbally abusive to them.

Lots of my party friends from high school still party hardy.  And I told a couple of them.  "Guys, the party if over!!  The party was over 20 years ago!!!"

I also told an ex-boyfriend that going out and having some fun should be the exception.  You know once a month, once a quarter.  Go out, listen to a band and cut loose.  But for him it became the rule.

And yes, I should attend al-anon because I do seem to pick men who like to drink too much!

[Sela]

Hi all:

Alcoholism runs rampant on both sides of my FOO (my mother's and father's families).  

I was lucky to notice this at a young age and vowed to not let the monster get me.  So I guess I've been careful not to indulge too often (not to say I haven't indulged or over-indulged, especially when I was a young adult).  I enjoy alcohol but I don't consume a whole lot of it.  I love a nice cold beer, probably once a year, when it's so hot and I'm bar-b-queing, although that's about the only time I ever drink beer.  I'll have a glass or 2 of wine or a spritzer, with dinner sometimes, and I will make a bowl of punch or a jug of sangria, if others will be around to enjoy it with me.  The odd time I buy coolers to have occasionally and I'll have hard liquor, once in awhile, although I usually mix it very weak.  If you add that all up, it may sound like a lot so I better clarify by saying I consume alcohol about once per month, during the winter and more often in the summer, but not usually more than a couple/three drinks at a time and rarely over 2 days in a row.  I like it all but I'm careful about how much.

None of that stopped me from marrying an alcoholic, (my exH) and so I must not have applied equal care in selecting a mate.  How did I do that?  Why did that happen?  Why didn't I see that he was drinking far more than I and enjoying it waaaay too much?   I feel kinda dopey for missing all of that.  When I think back, it was clearly evident.  I think maybe I thought it was just a stage or that he would settle down after marriage or some other silly idea?  It's something I've admitted and apologised for to my girls.  I picked an alcoholic father for them.  My fault.  I should have known better!

Like you said Write, I wouldn't be interested in hanging out with heavy drinkers, as a regular activity.  I can go to a party or event, though, where there is drinking and decide not to drink, sometimes, just because that's what I feel like doing.  Sometimes I just drink water.

I've tried to teach my children "how to drink", if that's possible, by example and by talking about the whole thing with them.  I've warned them that alcoholism is very prevelant in their family and to be careful and aware of their own behaviour.  The idea of covering up pain with any drug or alcohol has also been discussed.  I hope this will help them.  I'm not sure how else to do that.

Sela

PS: on edit.....I guess I left out spring and fall.  I don't think I drink much at all in those seasons.

[portia guest]

hi Write

If i told you how much red wine I drink, I'd have to tell you my height, weight and bone size too!

Maybe it's not about alcohol.

Maybe it's:

"and what are you really addicted to?"

Tobacco, alcohol, coffee, cocaine, porn, running, antidepressants, TV soaps, work, food, gossip, driving fast, sex, romance, anger, envy, martyrdom, applause, being idolised, being useful, any 'cause', being busy all the time, beng lazy, sleep, gardening, message boards, chatrooms, shopping, gambling, ........

.......any addiction says something about the person who chooses to overdo the activity I think.

?

[Hopalong]

Hi Write,
On average, I drink 2-3 cold beers a week in the summertime, and same amount of wine in the wintertime. If I'm drinking socially I'll sometimes have 2 in the same evening.  Can't do more.

But what I do drink feels healthy. Good for the heart.

My D's father was alcoholic...six-pack of beer every night, and smoked pot. Never stopped.
He's dead now from cirrhosis but ironically, that was from hepatitis he caught in the Peace Corps in Senegal that never cleared his liver. And he had quit drinking 11 years before so I found it especially tragic. Age 53 when he died.

I have dated alcoholics and the next-to-next-to-next-to-last N I was in love with (the one I hit rock bottom with) was a serious alcoholic. I was lalalalalalalalalalalaaaaa, I'll help him change.

Hops

[Certain Hope]

Hi, Write,

  Two years ago, I completely gave up alcohol. I just had this sudden realization that there was no longer any reason to drink. I thank God and my husband for that. (Not that there'd ever been a valid excuse, but with N out of the picture, I'd really have had to dig for a reason beyond it being a simple, ugly habit.)
One thing that really caught my attention toward the end of my drinking days was finding myself hiding the evidence of how much I'd had to drink in one day. The question I had to ask myself was, who was I trying to fool? Also, I recognized a very unsettled feeling in myself when my supply of booze was beginning to run low. How much was "enough" to have on hand, just in case I got really thirsty? I could see that I was approaching the point where it would never be enough. I was effectively drowning myself in alcohol. I quit, cold turkey, lost 15 pounds without trying, and never went back.
   I agree with you, Write... not enough hours in the day to waste on it. Time is too precious.

Love,
Hope

[Brigid]

Write,
My father was an alcoholic and my xfil is still an alcoholic who has been in and out of treatment for 40 years.  I always said I would never live with a man who drank too much, and at least that commitment I did keep to myself.  Both my ex's were n, but neither was an alcoholic.

I believe in all things in moderation and do enjoy a cocktail before dinner and a glass of wine with dinner.  I did have a couple of beers today while challenging the b/f to several games of pool.  I do enjoy having a drink, but do know my limitations and always adhere to them (at least since I've been old enough to know better  ). 

Brigid

[WRITE]

at least that commitment I did keep to myself

that's excellent. I have never 'picked' a partner before, always drifted into a relationship with someone I didn't really know.

I just had this sudden realization that there was no longer any reason to drink

yes, that's how it's been for me too.
I get precious little work done as it is...the days seem too important to waste now.
Well done for waking up to a developing problem CH.

I found it especially tragic.

you've had a lot of sadness the past few years Hop.

lalalalalalalalalalalaaaaa, I'll help him change.

well, we've most of us done that here!

Maybe it's not about alcohol.

no, it really is Portia. I called the thread 'alcohol' and everything 

It's something I've admitted and apologised for to my girls.  I picked an alcoholic father for them.  My fault.  I should have known better!

well it's not something you think when you're wanting a baby is it, I should really be careful who I have a child with...

Sometimes I just drink water.

I love water, especially when I think that for so many people it's a luxury to have unlimited quantities like we do.

that maybe if he has a beer he will be motivated enough to finish his project from yesterday

does the beer ever motivate him? I fidn it impossible to concentrate and get on with stuff if I drink. It's the best benefit: a clear head.

Thanks for sharing everyone, and I guess I'm not so unusual then.

Funny though tonight I did some babysitting and the family offered me wine on their return. I said 'I don't drink' and they started asking me about it. I am going to just say 'no thank you' in future, or 'I'm dieting' if pressed!

[Sela]

Hi write:

I said 'I don't drink' and they started asking me about it. I am going to just say 'no thank you' in future, or 'I'm dieting' if pressed!

Yep.  Keep it simple.  "No thankyou" is plenty good enough.  Repeat.  "No thanks".  "Why not?"  "Naw.  Nope.  No thanks."  "How come?"  "No thankyou" (   Some people are so hard of hearing eh?).

I can understand making a simple explanation when you feel pressured too.  I think that's ok too.  I told my girls.....if someone presses you to try a street drug.....just say:

"Oh.  I can't.  I'm allergic.  Did that before!  Not going there again!!  Had a terrible reaction!  Uh uh!  No thanks!"  or if they feel really uncomfortable:
"I can't.  I have a rotten headache.  I think I better just go home."

It's ok to protect life and limb with a white lie (a lie intended to save yourself from making a grand mistake).
It won't  hurt a soul and might save you from years and years of pain, regret, etc (and in the case of illicit drugs......possible death.....as a 15 year old girl not too far from here just experienced......she died......from taking one estcasy pill!  One.  Went into a coma until her organs just shut down.  Now, another 15 year old and a 16 year old are charged with trafficking.  One young life lost and two others tragically altered.......

the little lie is better I think.  I do.

  Sela

[WRITE]

it pours on the fat

I'll remember that!!!!! Great way of putting it.

Some people are so hard of hearing eh?).

It's so much part of most cultures to ply people with food and drink; I am learning it's more hospitable to support someone in their moderation!

[bean as guest]

Hi write,

I do not drink at all - gave it up almost 2 years ago.   I have really slimmed up since then - ~10 lb.  It was all just extra calories, and made me sleepy (and depressed).

It's weird that others have had this realization too - it's just not something that's necessary?

Maybe when you start trimming the fat out of your life in other ways, alcohol is just another thing that seems to get shed?  maybe

pb