interesting find here: Start a thread...disappear...invisible

[reallyME]

I have noticed that once a person starts a thread, an interesting phenomenon occurs...that original starter of the post often is never acknowledged again afterword.  Not complaining, just stating what I've seen.

[WRITE]

Good morning RM!

I think a lot of posters here also try to go down and acknowledge each contributor, but I know for me less time and energy sometimes dim my netiquette ( sorry )

[reallyME]

Well, WRITE, I was saying that, because, even in real-life convos, I have seen that occur.  One person is talking to another person and a few more walk up and totally get talking and the original person who started the topic, is totally OUT of the convo and walks away, wondering what just happened.  When this would happen to me in the past, I would feel USED...like they STOLE my topic and left me out. Anyone else know what I'm talking about?  human-nature is so goofy sometimes, is all my point is here.

~Laura

[reallyME]

One more thing to add here.


In church as I was new to the faith, I would try and talk to the pastor after the service, and, inevitably, others would come up and begin talking to him too, till finally, my convo was TOTALLY interrupted.  I always found this very frustrating, because, back then I also had a problem with delayed gratification.  Now, I know to set up a time when NOBODY is around, so I can "have the dude all to myself"...it's a phenomenon that also happens in FAMILIES...competing for Mom's attention, because inevitably brother or sister will come up when you are talking to mother, and INTERRUPT RUDELY.

My children do the same thing to each other...and my 7 year old screams "HEY I WAS TALKING TO MOM, FIRST!!!"  Being at the typical Narcissistic stage in life at age 7, my daughter happens to be ALWAYS TRYING TO TELL MOM SOMETHING. hehe, so the other children get pretty exasperated at not being able to have my full attention, and we're working on that one. sigh

~Laura

[moonlight52]

I kind of look at life as a flowing river something not to be forced.

So then you are so surprised when  your time just shows up.

When you do not hold resentment in your heart and hold hope then before you know it your time with who ever you want to be with or talk to kind of happens.

Life can not be forced or controlled that causes anger.

Bad for the body and spirit...............

MoonLight

[Certain Hope]

Hi Laura,

  I see what you mean. I think that discussions on a message board are so different from face to face conversations, though. Having  a conversation like this in installments over a long period of time opens the door to all sorts of interesting developments.
Here, we put out a thought by starting a thread and, as each new response is added, the direction of the talk can shift enormously, so by the time it gets to reply #6, folks are responding to an entirely different aspect than what was originally intended by the thread author. This dynamic is actually one of my favorite aspects of exchanges on the board, though ... I like to see the "spin offs" and various trains of thought that develop when people share. I hope that anyone who starts a thread and feels it gets diverted along the way will not take offense or walk away dissatisfied, but instead will return to try to draw focus back to the original thought when more discussion is needed.

   In person, especially in the situation you mentioned with your pastor, whew... can you imagine his position? Everyone wants a piece of the pastor's time. Post service, he's got an entire congregation wanting to shake his hand or sometimes set him straight when they think he missed the mark, and all I can say is... I bet he'd like to get home and have his dinner!

   I think that moms are in a similar difficult position. Our 10 year old son is one who always has a response for everything, whether it's a convo between my husband and me, my daughter and me... that boy has things to say!!    I think that it's good for kids to get the picture really young that sharing is one of the most important things to learn in order to live well and peaceably as a team. There's only so much time, energy, and other resources to go around and that will be enough if one is not always trying to grab it all. People get frustrated by different things to differing degrees. When a child has all her energy focused on gaining the whole pie for herself, I think she misses out on the opportunity to learn to appreciate how much fun it can really be to share. With my son, we don't tolerate his interruptions during the middle of our conversations and that takes constant diligence, because he simply overflows much of the time. When we're done, and if it's appropriate, we do invite him into our talk eventually, receive his input, and respond, so he doesn't get ignored. Through this process, he's learning to hold his tongue, to wait his turn to be heard, to not be a conversational bull in a china shop...  and he's also learning that we value his thoughts and will listen when he doesn't barge in.

   I don't think anyone intends to steal a topic here and leave out the original poster. Seems to me to be just a natural ebb and flow, with some topics "clicking" more than others and also, if a subject doesn't grab folks' attention right at the moment, it might at a later date. It doesn't seem so risky to put a topic out there when I look at it that way, because I know that everyone's not on the same page as me so I don't expect anything different. I guess it's all about expectations.

Love,
Hope

[Overcomer]

And when someone asks a question and there are no more responses it dies off.....................UNLESS two or three people start debating something else......I think that is where the threads are highjacked.  The question ones usually die out.  The thought provoking ones start debate...............not bad...............sometimes VERY interesting.