Bored Conflict

[mudpuppy]

Here's a question.

Is it possible for those who feel conflict is valuable to them and those of us who do not to coexist here?

Maybe those of us who dislike the conflict could stop complaining about it and simply engage in positive conversations with other like minded people, while ignoring the dust ups going on elsewhere.

And maybe those who do feel they profit from conflicts could be a little more careful in confining those conflicts amongst themselves with a mind to limiting the collateral damage on neighboring threads.

It's not a perfect solution, maybe not a solution at all, but it would sure beat people leaving or spending all their time having a tug-a-war over what the board is supposed to be.

I'm not directing this at anyone in particular but the conflicts over the conflicts just add to the disharmony. Equanimity in the midst of conflict and chaos is a hard won lesson but it sure brings peace to one's soul. 

mud

[Healing&Hopeful]

Hear hear Mud!

[movinon]

Why did you watch them torture and kill your father? There were eight of them and two thousand of us!"
 
 The only thing required for evil to prevail is for good men and women to do (and say) nothing

I TOTALLY get this, but it's difficult.  I want to be here to fight the "evil" and do and say something instead of leaving or standing by, but I can't help that I am frustrated when I leave this board these days.  Religious abuse seems to be rampant here now instead of religious UNDERSTANDING.  How many of us suffered religious abuse from "well-meaning" relatives who changed religions almost as often as their underwear?

Mud - Good to hear from you again.  You're right it's not a perfect solution, but I see where your heart is and your idea is something I would LOVE to se manifested on this board.

Moon - I put it in another post and OF COURSE got immediately slammed.  I know I will get slammed again here, but what's new?  This is MY OPINION - mine.  I attribute the chaos being created to one very vocal person who posted constantly that was not here before March 1.  There were differing opinions here and still RESPECT.  There was no one yelling, "You're wrong and I'm right because GOD tells me I'm right." 

This is not an attempt to enflame anyone.  I can accept that people have different opinions.  My word is not law nor absolute - what a depressive state to live in to be the ultimate authority.

blessings,
Movinon

[BJ]

BRAVO!
I agree with all of you--let's get on with whatever works!  Let things flow naturally.

[Certain Hope]

Mud,

  I think your proposal is a realistic and sensible compromise and I know it's one by which I can abide. I don't know about anyone else, though. I guess that's where the unpredictability that Jac mentions enters the picture. We can each only take responsibility for ourselves and our own behavior.
Thanks for contributing an objective view with the best interests of everyone involved in mind.

Hope

[mudpuppy]

Many times the conflicts cannot be confined because they are unpredictable.  I find that something I've posted has triggered someone and all of a sudden the thread just goes haywire....... Any thoughts in situations such as that?

I can only suggest what I have found helpful, jac. And I must admit I have not always practiced what I now preach.
I would suggest taking a stab at explaining what you meant. If the results are still not what you had hoped then respectfully withdraw and wait for a time more conducive to discussion. People who are triggered are rarely likely to listen to reason, especially from the one who has triggered them. If you have a chronic problem with a particular person then there's not much you can do other than ignore them and wait for an opportunity to see if reconciliation is possible.

CH,

The utility of what I suggest is that it is irrelevant if everyone doesn't abide by it as long as there are some who do. If people want to have a cat fight over in their corner fine, as long as we can play marbles over in our corner without getting our mouths full of their fur. A lot of the problem seems to come when people abandon a perfectly respectable game of marbles to go get a few licks in across the room.

Some people seem to have the idea that there are a few people here who are really screwed up and they just happen to have been appointed to either fix them or defend the rest of the board from them. That's probably noble theoretically, but practically it just makes a small mess big and a short one very long and tedious and as the title of this thread suggests, ultimately pretty boring.

mud

[Certain Hope]

Mud,
  I see what you're saying and it makes good sense. As long as some of us refuse to become embroiled in seemingly never-ending spitting matches, business as usual can continue. It does often appear that a mini crisis has nearly wrapped up when someone new to the discussion tosses in a remark and the whole shebang catches fire again, but I guess that's a situation inherent to this sort of time-delayed (at times) forum. I do believe that these things will run their course and die a natural death if "fixing" and "protecting" modes are relinquished and alot more (temporary) ignore is applied. In cases of chronic head butters, at least with my two youngest kids this works.. they are simply not allowed to speak to each other, period, unless they have something kind to say. Self-imposed, situational voicelessness could spare alot of trips around the mulberry bush, I think.

Sure glad you're able to be here, Mud, and I'm still praying for permanent respite from the storm for your family.

Hope

[ANewSheriff]

I have been coming here for several months.  I am aware of the conflicts on this board, although I admit that I do not keep up with all the threads well enough to recognize who all the feuding parties are and just what all the fuss is about most of the time.  Quite often I see some punches being thrown and think, "Well, this just ain't my dog's fight" and move onto another thread.

Conflict exists.  We just have to deal with it.  On occasion we will butt heads.  So what?  Like mud, I think we can come here and take what we find healing and helpful and leave the rest behind.  There are some wonderfully gifted and enlightened souls on this board.  We are all in varying stages of growth and recovery - much like a rehab wing in a hospital.  As with any physical rehab, there will be some occasional moaning and groaning and even angry outbursts as we learn to use injured and atrophied muscles again.  It is simply part of the process.

I am not so sure that jumping ship is the answer.  I think there is room for everyone here - from those just "waking up" to those ready to sign their release papers.

ANewSheriff