Author Topic: Cancer Faker's Bill Is Due  (Read 2127 times)

ANewSheriff

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Cancer Faker's Bill Is Due
« on: August 10, 2006, 10:38:19 AM »
I befriended a charming, outgoing, and vibrant woman a few years ago who declared she was dying of cancer.  I immediately jumped to her rescue - watching children, setting up fundraisers, delivering meals, and emotionally supporting this poor soul.  After a year, I began to have suspicions about the validity of her illness, but didn't dare say anything because I couldn't imagine why in the world anyone would make something like this up.  Also, I was surrounded by a community that had also jumped to this woman's aid.  Nobody else seemed to think anything was up so obviously I felt that I must be evil for thinking such a thing. 

I got a phone call one morning from a private detective.  The woman was involved in a court case against her former employer (some kind of Medicaid fraud) and the defense attorney for the employer was trying to prove that this woman was a known liar with a long history of making up cancers and other bizarre disorders so she was not a credible witness.  Well, I immediately knew my hunches and instincts were right.  I was scared because I realized I was dealing with a sociopath who could be dangerous. 

This is a very, very long and sordid tale, but I found out about a couple of others who knew of this woman's history.  Together we put the pieces together.  I did hundreds of hours of research on what the disorder was, other similar cases, and got important court papers from the trial that had, at least, some validation this woman was being untruthful.  After we had found enough validation, I called the sheriff and turned this woman in.  She accepted a lot of money and gifts from this community and that is fraud and theft.  I was so scared!  But, I felt so convicted and really felt I had no choice.   

I cannot tell you the toll that this took on me personally.  This woman realized early on that I had been contacted by this P.I. and began to immediately undermine me in the community.  Since she was such a sympathetic figure, so likeable, and so good at what she does, many people did not know what to believe.  After some time, people realized there was no way someone could be as sick as this woman said she was and still be alive.  The woman pulled her kids out of school and moved on to a new set of victims in the town nearby.

Well, she is still out and about, but after over a year and a half of investigation I got a call that the DA has formally pressed criminal charges.  You guys cannot imagine how important and healing and validating this is for me.  It is a difficult case to investigate and prove.  I have wanted to post for several days, but still have some hesitation about disclosing much of this.  But, I should not feel this way.  I have nothing to hide.  It is her bill.  And, it does seem to be due.

I want to thank this group for being here.  I want to thank Dr. Grossman for creating this place.  I feel that I have grown a lot in the past months and I credit much of it to being able to come here and learn and share.  Very, very grateful today. 

ANewSheriff 
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pennyplant

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Re: Cancer Faker's Bill Is Due
« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2006, 10:53:54 AM »
This is wonderful news, ANS!  I can well imagine what this did to your life and to your feelings about yourself.  Quite a turning point I would guess.

You mentioned researching what this disorder was--does that mean she has some kind of mental or emotional illness behind her scam?

The worst thing to me is that she engaged in character assasination toward you.  I hope that people rallied behind you and did not fall for her lies about you.

I'm happy for you, ANS  :D .

Pennyplant
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Certain Hope

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Re: Cancer Faker's Bill Is Due
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2006, 11:12:58 AM »
Dear ANS,

  I am so glad for you. To be used by another human being to this extent is difficult enough, but when the con artist responds to the threat of being unmasked by trying to destroy her innocent victim, that is simply unconscionable. That's the mark of a true sociopath, indeed.

   As much as we may recognize the need to forgive in order to move on and not be trapped in bitter cynicism, the heart cries out for justice. No, I do not think you have anything to hide or any shame whatsoever to feel. It's such a relief to know that this person has been uncovered and hopefully will not be able to manipulate others in the future.

   This wasn't like an unarmed bank heist, where no one is injureed and the stolen funds can be returned. Even if this woman could be forced to reimburse every penny, she cannot restore the real object of her thievery ... the trust and eagerness to help which she stole from every person she conned.  Mostly, I hate to imagine the effects she's having on her own children.

   Thank you for sharing your own struggle here with us, ANS. To me, this situation is an ideal object lesson in the need to value the truth over appearances. Personally, I am working on making peace with the fact that some individuals will go to any lengths in using others to suit their own agendas, yet being aware of that cannot stop me from reaching out to the next person who crosses my path.

With love,
Hope

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Re: Cancer Faker's Bill Is Due
« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2006, 11:49:34 AM »
Here's a link to the disease ANS might be referring to.

http://www.munchausen.com/


Congratulations ANS, for your insight and for having the courage to take a stand. The money may be able to be returned, but the true tragedy is the loss of trust, and the future hesitancy others may feel now to help someone else who truly may be in need.


Demian,
  ~DreamSinger


ANewSheriff

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Re: Cancer Faker's Bill Is Due
« Reply #4 on: August 10, 2006, 12:14:13 PM »
PP:
Quote
You mentioned researching what this disorder was--does that mean she has some kind of mental or emotional illness behind her scam?

Yes.  Munchausen syndrome - under factitious disorders.  This woman is a pathological liar - lies about everything, unimportant things.  Everyone who knows of this story says it reads like some disturbing mystery.  It is a very bizarre tale, believe me. 

I have wrestled with the mental illness aspect of this.  Everything this woman does is so premeditated, so willful, intentional and deceiving.  At what point do we cross the line from mental disorder to just plain, old social deviance (evil)?

CH:
Quote
Mostly, I hate to imagine the effects she's having on her own children.

This was an incredible motivator.  Three innocent children.  There are many suspicions in the family that she has made the children sick over the years.  One boy believes he is diabetic, yet has never had a formal diagnosis.  When all the other kids are eating goodies at a school party he is eating celery sticks.  Sad... 

How people have sat and witnessed all this for so many years and not stood up and done something is beyond unbelievable to me.  It makes me crazy.  These kids are so filled with shame.  They are all so cute.  It is heartbreaking.  I pray that they get the help they need and deserve soon.

Demian:
Quote
Congratulations ANS, for your insight and for having the courage to take a stand. The money may be able to be returned, but the true tragedy is the loss of trust, and the future hesitancy others may feel now to help someone else who truly may be in need.

I lived at the munchausen site for a good while.  Learned a great deal there. 

I appreciate your affirmations.  It has never been about the money for me.  It has been about the principle. 

ANS
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ANewSheriff

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Re: Cancer Faker's Bill Is Due
« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2006, 06:19:59 PM »
jac:
Quote
There is a small part of my heart that is still embittered by the lies one N-woman told about me that had me arrested not once but twice and so I am feeling the vicarious joy and relief that you have that finally she will have to answer for her transgressions!

What?!?  Had you arrested twice?!?  Sheesh, Jac...  I find myself not knowing whether to go out and start punching a bag of potting soil or laugh.  What in the world happened and how did you get involved with this nut???

jac:
Quote
This was the exact same feeling I had in my situation about this woman's four kids, and the fact that everyone around her covered up and enabled and lied for and basically ignored her very toxic dangerous behavior.  Even typing this it makes me crazy, so I totally understand you. 

Aaaagghhh!  Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out and scream on my rooftop.  It is infuriating.  Lol....

jac:
Quote
ANS, you have fought the good fight and justice has finally stepped up to the plate.

Thank you, jac.  Thank you so much for hearing this and being supportive.  There is still a very long way to go.  But, you know...  I do feel good, maybe even a little proud that I didn't sell out and wimp out.  It has been one heckuva ride on this ol' pony for this sheriff. 

ANS
Change the way you see the world and you will change the world.

Bones

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Re: Cancer Faker's Bill Is Due
« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2006, 07:48:55 PM »
I befriended a charming, outgoing, and vibrant woman a few years ago who declared she was dying of cancer.  I immediately jumped to her rescue - watching children, setting up fundraisers, delivering meals, and emotionally supporting this poor soul.  After a year, I began to have suspicions about the validity of her illness, but didn't dare say anything because I couldn't imagine why in the world anyone would make something like this up.  Also, I was surrounded by a community that had also jumped to this woman's aid.  Nobody else seemed to think anything was up so obviously I felt that I must be evil for thinking such a thing. 

I got a phone call one morning from a private detective.  The woman was involved in a court case against her former employer (some kind of Medicaid fraud) and the defense attorney for the employer was trying to prove that this woman was a known liar with a long history of making up cancers and other bizarre disorders so she was not a credible witness.  Well, I immediately knew my hunches and instincts were right.  I was scared because I realized I was dealing with a sociopath who could be dangerous. 

This is a very, very long and sordid tale, but I found out about a couple of others who knew of this woman's history.  Together we put the pieces together.  I did hundreds of hours of research on what the disorder was, other similar cases, and got important court papers from the trial that had, at least, some validation this woman was being untruthful.  After we had found enough validation, I called the sheriff and turned this woman in.  She accepted a lot of money and gifts from this community and that is fraud and theft.  I was so scared!  But, I felt so convicted and really felt I had no choice.   

I cannot tell you the toll that this took on me personally.  This woman realized early on that I had been contacted by this P.I. and began to immediately undermine me in the community.  Since she was such a sympathetic figure, so likeable, and so good at what she does, many people did not know what to believe.  After some time, people realized there was no way someone could be as sick as this woman said she was and still be alive.  The woman pulled her kids out of school and moved on to a new set of victims in the town nearby.

Well, she is still out and about, but after over a year and a half of investigation I got a call that the DA has formally pressed criminal charges.  You guys cannot imagine how important and healing and validating this is for me.  It is a difficult case to investigate and prove.  I have wanted to post for several days, but still have some hesitation about disclosing much of this.  But, I should not feel this way.  I have nothing to hide.  It is her bill.  And, it does seem to be due.

I want to thank this group for being here.  I want to thank Dr. Grossman for creating this place.  I feel that I have grown a lot in the past months and I credit much of it to being able to come here and learn and share.  Very, very grateful today. 

ANewSheriff 

You did good!!!!  And I'm giving you a pat on the back!!!!!   :)

As I was reading the description of this woman's behavior, one word kept coming to mind....."Munschausen" as opposed to "Munschausen by Proxy".  She needs to experience the consequences of her actions.  Maybe through this, she will get the help she needs and learn to take responsibility for her actions.  Otherwise, she will end up in jail for a long, long time.

Bones

gratitude28

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Re: Cancer Faker's Bill Is Due
« Reply #7 on: August 10, 2006, 08:08:27 PM »
Hi ANS,
I am so glad that you are opening up and starting to share your hurt!!!!!
Don't ya hate it when you second-guess your own thoughts?????? You had the right-on instinct and overrode it with your humaneness. Well, what else would a SANE person do???????
Strangely enough, my sister dealt with something like that in med school. One of the docs-in-training with her had everyone convinced that she had some form of cancer and they all felt terrible for her... turned out it was all a lie and she was insane. My sister was so shocked. How do people do things like that???????????
Thanks so much for telling this story. It proves once again that we are often right when we think we are... we need to trust our instincts.
Love, Beth
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Certain Hope

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Re: Cancer Faker's Bill Is Due
« Reply #8 on: August 11, 2006, 06:46:11 AM »
Dear Jac,

   Just read your story from that February thread... wow! Those two are quite the pair... Mr. and Mrs. Chaos. Bad enough being targeted by one N, but to be in the middle between two of them flailing at each other... what a nightmare.
   The p.o. I had against N expired this past March, also, and this made me think... you know, I haven't seen hide nor hair of him since! It's almost as though his primary incentive to continue stalking and harassing was to show that he could not be stopped by any order of protection. I shouldn't be surprised though really... in N land, reverse psychology is often the best weapon, since everything in their warped minds is backwards.
  I hope you never have to run into either of these two characters again!!

Love,
Hope

Stormchild

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Re: Cancer Faker's Bill Is Due
« Reply #9 on: August 11, 2006, 08:32:15 AM »
Sweet heavens jac.... what you've been through... honestly it's like you survived Bosnia, or the Gulag. And yes, legal 'authority' isn't really able to prevent or protect, often, unfortunately, just to avenge. Which means someone has to die first or be seriously harmed.

Incredibly sad but true, and we're better off knowing it up front. Hugs -

ANS, you warrior woman! :-D :-D :-D
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gratitude28

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Re: Cancer Faker's Bill Is Due
« Reply #10 on: August 13, 2006, 07:55:31 PM »
ANS... I hate going to the doctor now because my mother took me ALL THE TIME. She took my sister too. Now she goes a lot as well. Her cure for everything is pills. What she needs is to try a bit of preventative medicine (healthful food, etc.) but they think that is what "hippies" do or some weird thing. Who knows what goes on in their minds...
I am sorry to hear that those poor children were put through that. Amazing how sick some people are. How do they fool everyone???????
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable." Douglas Adams