Lost My Job and Doubting Myself

[penelope]

Great points Gaining strength.  I also think PP, you have really hit on something!!

Such wisdom here.


I have also survived a tramautic experience of losing my job (except I initiated it).  But Gaining, you lost your husband too...I'm sorry.  That must have hurt.

One thing that helped me was an easy (beginner) yoga class once a week (it'd have been even better were it Yoga therapy, I bet).  I don't know if it was the routine, the quiet/calming experience of it...or what.  But going to that class once a week helped me.  Even if I couldn't "afford" it.

[Bones]

Bones -

You have just been hit by a mac truck.  You are in survival.  Do not think about next month, next week, even tomorrow.  Just think about one moment at a time. 

DO NOT try to figure anything out.  DO NOT think about what happened.  Put all of you energy into changing your thoughts.   Find one thought to over write dealing with your loss: a statement like, "I WILL SURVIVE.  I WILL COME BACK.  I WILL FLOURISH.

Think about surviving!!.  Put your thoughts into survival.  EAT.  think about eating.  think about what to eat.  DRESS.  Do what ever you have to do to get dressed. 

Take a bath or shower.  Let the water feel cleansing.  Let it wash the darkness away. 

Find ways to release the shock and stress from you flesh.  Exercise.  No matter how difficult it is to get going.  Walk, run, workout,  Something.  or get a massage or accupuncture.

DO NOT think about what has happened or what comes next.  That will come.  First survive.  You are in intensive care unit for your self. 

And keep coming here to get as much support as you can.

My husband died without warning 5 years ago, our child was 7 months old.  A sole practisioner - his income was lost.  My business was closed 18 months later.  I know shock and I know survival.  My well off family has been absent, on the sidelines all of these years.  I dpn't know what hurt the most.  But  I do know survival and I will gladly walk with you through this tradgedy. 

Just say out loud.  "I will survive.  I WANT to survive.  I know I can survive."

I walking with you.

Gaining Strength

I'm going to try.

Right now, what is left of Hurricane Ernesto is slamming through Maryland and has knocked out the electricity.  I have about an hour's worth of battery power on my computer before I'll have tolog off the Internet and shut off the laptop.

Bones

[Certain Hope]

Dear Bones,

  Praying that your electricity will be restored in short order. "See" you soon, I hope.

Love,
Hope

[dragonsamm]

      Bones,
     
       Thank you for responding to my thread.  I am continually amazed at the amount of support I have received here.  I want you to                  know that i very nearly responded to this thread of yours the other day but was so sure i could say nothing helpful.  As a matter of fact i have been almost totally unable to post to anyone else so consumed have i been with my own troubles, and feeling inadequate.     I think it is encouraging to see your ability to reach out to others in the midst of your own pain.  That is a sure sign of life--all i can say is "hang in" and let these wonderful people here support you as best we can.
         I too am waiting for what seems to be a miracle. 
Like Bad Company sang:  "My rainbow is overdue..."
           all we can do is "don't stop believin'..."  (Journey)

       ~dragonsamm~

[Bones]

the more I try to prove my family of origin that they're wrong, the more I prove that they were right all along.

stop trying to prove anything to them.

You know, a lot of us here have given up the notion our families will see us as who we are, and that releases us from their expectations and criticism. If not their hurtful behaviour.

I feel so tired that I just don't want to try anymore.

can you take a couple of days to regenerate, start over next week?

And I can't shut off the old nasty tapes playing in my head.

Bones

[Bones]

Hiya Bones:

Just wanted to say, sorry about your job loss.   That's quite a blow.  Hey!  Can you think of it as a mini holiday?  Use the time to relax and renew your determination to succeed?

I'm also HATING myself too!  I don't see any worth in anything I've done for my entire life.

I do this to myself too sometimes.  This kind of thinking does no good.  You are not perfect and never will be so give yourself a break.  You are also worthy and have done stuff that counts but right now, your own brain is against you because you are taking this job loss so personally.  Was it really all you?

Even if you did something wrong and are responsibile for the job loss that does not make up your entire being.  To borrow Portia's line borrowed from CG (I think?).....

an act is not a person.

Anyhow, Bones, I just wanted to send you a big, large, huge ((((((((((((hug))))))))) and ask you to please not be so hard on yourself.

Tomorrow is another day.  Things won't always be this dim.  You're going to find another job.  And your FOO can think what they like....  you have nothing to proove.  They are the dough heads that are missing out on a respectful and reciprocal relationship...... one they could have had with you, had they opened their eyes and seen you for the worthy, valuable, good person you are.

((((((((((Bones))))))))))

Sela

Thanks, Sela.

I've also not been able to sleep for two days.

Bones

[Bones]

((((((((Bones)))))))) 

Wish I could give you a new set of eyes through which to see yourself. You are so lovely and thoughtful and full of promise.
I'm seeing this change in your life as a doorway to a whole new set of opportunities, none of which involve proving to anyone that you have value and worth. Standing naked and alone, with empty hands, you are worth everything to your loving heavenly Father. I believe in you, too.

Love,
Hope

Thanks, Hope.

Bones

[Bones]

hi Bones,

When we can't believe in ourselves, others do.  It's the miraculous way the world works.  I know our dysfunctional FOO doesn't let us believe it, but it is true.

Even if you can't pick yourself up right now, it's OK.  Somebody will, I bet.  And you deserve the rest.  That you can admit you are doubting yourself, shows you are strong.

hugs,
bean

Thanks, Bean.

Bones

[Bones]

Great points Gaining strength.  I also think PP, you have really hit on something!!

Such wisdom here.


I have also survived a tramautic experience of losing my job (except I initiated it).  But Gaining, you lost your husband too...I'm sorry.  That must have hurt.

One thing that helped me was an easy (beginner) yoga class once a week (it'd have been even better were it Yoga therapy, I bet).  I don't know if it was the routine, the quiet/calming experience of it...or what.  But going to that class once a week helped me.  Even if I couldn't "afford" it.

Right now, I feel so exhausted from being unable to sleep for two days and I feel like I just want to crawl into a hole and hide.

Bones

[bones]

Dear Bones,

  Praying that your electricity will be restored in short order. "See" you soon, I hope.

Love,
Hope

Thanks, Hope.

Bones

[bones]

Hi Bones,

Thinking about you and wishing I could say exactly the thing that would light up your life and propel you into that knock 'em dead attitude/action out in that job market.  But most often, I  have no answers...mostly questions.    I found the following online.  Maybe there is something here that will be helpful. 
 
   All of SolutionsonvideoOnly Videos 

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http://www.solutionsonvideo.com/videos/DA/cloudT1036.htm   
 
teartracks

Thanks, TearTracks

[bones]

      Bones,
     
       Thank you for responding to my thread.  I am continually amazed at the amount of support I have received here.  I want you to                  know that i very nearly responded to this thread of yours the other day but was so sure i could say nothing helpful.  As a matter of fact i have been almost totally unable to post to anyone else so consumed have i been with my own troubles, and feeling inadequate.     I think it is encouraging to see your ability to reach out to others in the midst of your own pain.  That is a sure sign of life--all i can say is "hang in" and let these wonderful people here support you as best we can.
         I too am waiting for what seems to be a miracle. 
Like Bad Company sang:  "My rainbow is overdue..."
           all we can do is "don't stop believin'..."  (Journey)

       ~dragonsamm~

Thanks, Dragonsamm

Bones

[Stormchild]

Oh dear, Bones.

I'm so sorry all this is happening to you... ((((((((((Bones))))))))))

[Gaining Strength]

And I can't shut off the old nasty tapes playing in my head.



Bones - don't try to shut it off, replace those tapes with something you need.  Wayne Dyer says this, "Catch yourself in the moment you are thinking about what's missing.  Then shift ...to what I absolutely intend to manifest and attract into my life." 

Dr. Daniel Amen calls it ANTs, (automatic negative thoughts.)  He says - 1) Realize your thoughts are real and they cause your brain to release chemicals. 2) Notice how thoughts affect your body. 3)Notice how positive thoughts affect your body. [skip 4] 5)Think of bad thoughts as pollution. 6)Understand that your automatic thought don't always tell the truth. 7) Talk back to ANTs. Exterminate the ANTs.

Remember Bones you ave been hit by a Mac truck.  You are going to have to learn to walk all over again.  It will not happen overnight but don't give up just because it will take time.  Exterminating ANTs will take time but we are talking FREEDOM here.  True FREEDOM.  Your mind has been poisoned and slowly and painstakingly your are going to eradicate that poison. 

About not sleeping.  That is a crisis!.  You must get sleep.  Call a doctor and get a presciption or get something from a health food store.  Take warm baths - at least waist deep.  Warm water on the kidneys helps release something that helps with sleep.  Play soothing music!.  Drink warm milk - again some specific chemical is eleased in the warm milk that aids sleep.  This is so very important that you reclaim your sleep!!

I'm walking with you.  You are in my thoughts.  When you electricity comes back on let us hear how your area has sustained the strom.

Yours - Gaining Strength.
   

[penelope]

hi bones,

how are you doing?  What's the hurricane damage like in your area?  thinking of you.......

pb