Lost My Job and Doubting Myself

[Bones]

I just lost my job today and I'm doubting any ability I should have.  I don't have faith in myself anymore.

Bones

[WRITE]

I don't know your circumstances or have any practical advice here and now, just wanted to give you a hug
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[teartracks]

Bones,

I know the whole thing is frustrating...knowing that you have gifts and talents, yet wondering how to get out there feeling insecure about yourself.  I'm sending all my best wishes and prayers that tomorrow will be a brighter day. 

teartracks

[Hopalong]

Hang on, Bones.
Being fired or laid off is a DEVASTATING feeling---I've been there and had the same response.

Do not take it personally...........

Let the shock pass (it WILL).
In a while, you'll be able to pick yourself up, shake yourself off, and move on....

Come back and tell us more when you're up to it.

(I have survived 4 layoffs and one firing and one not-being-funded which feels the same.)

Life GOES ON. All will be well. You will be OKAY!

Hops

[Bones]

Right now, it feels that the more I try to prove my family of origin that they're wrong, the more I prove that they were right all along.

Bones

[Hopalong]

My guess is your FOO doesn't really know diddly about what you know, what you do like and don't like about work, what the unique peculiarities of this work situation was, and why you, like so many many thousands of other people, are having a pink slip experience.

My other guess is if they're not supportive to you now, it's NOTB.

But you DO deserve caring support and counsel while you get through shock and reorienting yourself part. I swear you'll be feeling a lot better in a week...

Now it's ice cream and favorite movies time for a couple days. Not too long...

Then you need to drag yourself and go find support groups. They're everywhere.

Life is still life and will still be life, and it'll feel good again. I promise.

Hops

[Bones]

My guess is your FOO doesn't really know diddly about what you know, what you do like and don't like about work, what the unique peculiarities of this work situation was, and why you, like so many many thousands of other people, are having a pink slip experience.

My other guess is if they're not supportive to you now, it's NOTB.

But you DO deserve caring support and counsel while you get through shock and reorienting yourself part. I swear you'll be feeling a lot better in a week...

Now it's ice cream and favorite movies time for a couple days. Not too long...

Then you need to drag yourself and go find support groups. They're everywhere.

Life is still life and will still be life, and it'll feel good again. I promise.

Hops

Right now I feel nauseous and can't even see past my bedroom door.

Bones

[Bones]

I'm also HATING myself too!  I don't see any worth in anything I've done for my entire life.  It seems no matter how hard I try, I have NOTHING to offer that's worth anything to anyone else.  My boyfriend tells me he believes in me but I don't believe in myself anymore.  I feel like I've lived too long.

Bones

[pennyplant]

Dear Bones,

Five years ago I was in a similar position, except that I walked out on my job.  A job I loved, but a N boss and a situation I could no longer bear.  So, I threw it all away.  And felt like I must be a piece of dirt.

Slowly, slowy little supports came my way from people who hardly knew me.  I was devastated and just slogging through my days but those tiny little supports came through anyway.  I was judging myself and thought others would too.  But they didn't.

Let the people who do care throw you those little supports.  Rest now that you have the time.  The job I ended up with sort of fell in my lap.  The ones I went after, and thought I wanted, thought would be best for me, went to other people.  It all worked out in surprising ways that I never could have guessed, never could have made happen.

I believe it will happen for you too.  It might be slow.  But it will happen.  Just rest, be open, let in the support that is out there for you.  Soak it up.

Love, Pennyplant

[Bones]

Dear Bones,

Five years ago I was in a similar position, except that I walked out on my job.  A job I loved, but a N boss and a situation I could no longer bear.  So, I threw it all away.  And felt like I must be a piece of dirt.

Slowly, slowy little supports came my way from people who hardly knew me.  I was devastated and just slogging through my days but those tiny little supports came through anyway.  I was judging myself and thought others would too.  But they didn't.

Let the people who do care throw you those little supports.  Rest now that you have the time.  The job I ended up with sort of fell in my lap.  The ones I went after, and thought I wanted, thought would be best for me, went to other people.  It all worked out in surprising ways that I never could have guessed, never could have made happen.

I believe it will happen for you too.  It might be slow.  But it will happen.  Just rest, be open, let in the support that is out there for you.  Soak it up.

Love, Pennyplant

Thanks, Pennyplant.

I feel so tired that I just don't want to try anymore.

Bones

[WRITE]

the more I try to prove my family of origin that they're wrong, the more I prove that they were right all along.

stop trying to prove anything to them.

You know, a lot of us here have given up the notion our families will see us as who we are, and that releases us from their expectations and criticism. If not their hurtful behaviour.

I feel so tired that I just don't want to try anymore.

can you take a couple of days to regenerate, start over next week?

[Sela]

Hiya Bones:

Just wanted to say, sorry about your job loss.   That's quite a blow.  Hey!  Can you think of it as a mini holiday?  Use the time to relax and renew your determination to succeed?

I'm also HATING myself too!  I don't see any worth in anything I've done for my entire life.

I do this to myself too sometimes.  This kind of thinking does no good.  You are not perfect and never will be so give yourself a break.  You are also worthy and have done stuff that counts but right now, your own brain is against you because you are taking this job loss so personally.  Was it really all you?

Even if you did something wrong and are responsibile for the job loss that does not make up your entire being.  To borrow Portia's line borrowed from CG (I think?).....

an act is not a person.

Anyhow, Bones, I just wanted to send you a big, large, huge ((((((((((((hug))))))))) and ask you to please not be so hard on yourself.

Tomorrow is another day.  Things won't always be this dim.  You're going to find another job.  And your FOO can think what they like....  you have nothing to proove.  They are the dough heads that are missing out on a respectful and reciprocal relationship...... one they could have had with you, had they opened their eyes and seen you for the worthy, valuable, good person you are.

((((((((((Bones))))))))))

Sela

[Certain Hope]

((((((((Bones)))))))) 

Wish I could give you a new set of eyes through which to see yourself. You are so lovely and thoughtful and full of promise.
I'm seeing this change in your life as a doorway to a whole new set of opportunities, none of which involve proving to anyone that you have value and worth. Standing naked and alone, with empty hands, you are worth everything to your loving heavenly Father. I believe in you, too.

Love,
Hope

[penelope]

hi Bones,

When we can't believe in ourselves, others do.  It's the miraculous way the world works.  I know our dysfunctional FOO doesn't let us believe it, but it is true.

Even if you can't pick yourself up right now, it's OK.  Somebody will, I bet.  And you deserve the rest.  That you can admit you are doubting yourself, shows you are strong.

hugs,
bean

[Gaining Strength]

Bones -

You have just been hit by a mac truck.  You are in survival.  Do not think about next month, next week, even tomorrow.  Just think about one moment at a time. 

DO NOT try to figure anything out.  DO NOT think about what happened.  Put all of you energy into changing your thoughts.   Find one thought to over write dealing with your loss: a statement like, "I WILL SURVIVE.  I WILL COME BACK.  I WILL FLOURISH.

Think about surviving!!.  Put your thoughts into survival.  EAT.  think about eating.  think about what to eat.  DRESS.  Do what ever you have to do to get dressed. 

Take a bath or shower.  Let the water feel cleansing.  Let it wash the darkness away. 

Find ways to release the shock and stress from you flesh.  Exercise.  No matter how difficult it is to get going.  Walk, run, workout,  Something.  or get a massage or accupuncture.

DO NOT think about what has happened or what comes next.  That will come.  First survive.  You are in intensive care unit for your self. 

And keep coming here to get as much support as you can.

My husband died without warning 5 years ago, our child was 7 months old.  A sole practisioner - his income was lost.  My business was closed 18 months later.  I know shock and I know survival.  My well off family has been absent, on the sidelines all of these years.  I dpn't know what hurt the most.  But  I do know survival and I will gladly walk with you through this tradgedy. 

Just say out loud.  "I will survive.  I WANT to survive.  I know I can survive."

I walking with you.

Gaining Strength