Lost My Job and Doubting Myself

[seastorm]

Dear Bones:

Losing ones job is such a blow. I worked as an employment counsellor for seven years and I realized that it was standard to have ones self esteem in the toilet if this happens.  There may not be a lot written about that but it happens most of the time and there has to be a complete rebuilding of your identity. Oh isnt that just ducky. You lose your job and on top of that feel rotten.

So many good people lose their jobs. There are many really demented bosses. Even unemployment insurance realiizes this. I was surprised when I explained how crazy my boss was. They said that they know that references are  not always easy to get if the boss is vengefull etc.

What Color Is Your Parachute is great. It helps people look at their skills,interests and abilities and think outseide the box for places to explore for employment. One of the things it says is that Informational Interveiws are important. This is when you contact a place where you want to work and ask them quiestions about the workplace.  Many, many people get jobs this way. It is better than waiting to be chosen.  If they don't offer you a job, they can point you in the right direction.
The questions to ask are in the book. They are pretty good. Surprisingly, people love to talk about their jobs and they will give you 15 or 20 minutes which often go on for an hour or more.

Good Luck.

Sea Storm

[Bones]

Dear Bones:

Losing ones job is such a blow. I worked as an employment counsellor for seven years and I realized that it was standard to have ones self esteem in the toilet if this happens.  There may not be a lot written about that but it happens most of the time and there has to be a complete rebuilding of your identity. Oh isnt that just ducky. You lose your job and on top of that feel rotten.

So many good people lose their jobs. There are many really demented bosses. Even unemployment insurance realiizes this. I was surprised when I explained how crazy my boss was. They said that they know that references are  not always easy to get if the boss is vengefull etc.

What Color Is Your Parachute is great. It helps people look at their skills,interests and abilities and think outseide the box for places to explore for employment. One of the things it says is that Informational Interveiws are important. This is when you contact a place where you want to work and ask them quiestions about the workplace.  Many, many people get jobs this way. It is better than waiting to be chosen.  If they don't offer you a job, they can point you in the right direction.
The questions to ask are in the book. They are pretty good. Surprisingly, people love to talk about their jobs and they will give you 15 or 20 minutes which often go on for an hour or more.

Good Luck.

Sea Storm

Thanks, Sea Storm!

When I applied for Unemployment, my former employer tried to claim that I "committed misconduct", thinking they could block my getting it.  They weren't counting on the state demanding proof (i.e. documented incidents, letters of reprimand, etc.)  Based on what I was told from the Unemployment Insurance people, my ex-employer made a vague reference to some possible "incident" that took place six months before and the state blasted them.  I got my unemployment approved.  I just wonder why my former employer was so adamant about attempting to deny me unemployment.  Was it coming out of their pockets?

Bones

[Gaining Strength]

Yep Bones it does cost them money.  But then they should have thought about that before letting you go. - GS

[Bones]

Yep Bones it does cost them money.  But then they should have thought about that before letting you go. - GS

I think they were too busy playing politics to think that far ahead.

Bones

[Bones]

It's been a week since the medical school notified me that they received the third letter but still no decision yet.  Part of me is getting pessimistic now.  At the same time, I sent another e-mail thanking them and letting them know that I'm still interested plus that I find the work fascinating.  Otherwise, I don't know what else to think.  I've done everything they've asked me to:

(1) sent them a writing sample
(2) obtained three letters of reference, the last one last week when they asked me for that one
(3) went in for the face to face interview
(4) did the homework assignment they gave to me and returned it the same day

Now I'm wondering if anything I did was good enough or if that's the old tapes playing again.

Bones

[Bones]

Still no news.

Bones

[Gaining Strength]

Still no news.

Sorry.  hang in there.

Now I'm wondering if anything I did was good enough or if that's the old tapes playing again.

That's the old tapes!!!!

[Hopalong]

Oh Bones.
I am such a wounded veteran of job searches, I just want to send you a (((())).

Please remember whatever happens, don't take it personally.
The thing is with employment, if you get the job it's not about you (in the sense that it doesn't prove your worth or value) and if you don't it doesn't INvalidate you either.

Sure makes life damn harder, when you don't get one you want, though.

But I think I wasted a lot of happy heart muscle doing that, in both senses. I have a nice job so that means I'm good, I deserve it! I have a crappy job with mean people so that means I deserve it! I have no job so that means I deserve that!

Yoicks. It helps me to remind myself that a lot of it is effort and persistence and the other part is luck. And they need to line up right at the right time and place and I can't control both parts.

Promise not to give up.

Hops

[Bones]

Oh Bones.
I am such a wounded veteran of job searches, I just want to send you a (((())).

Please remember whatever happens, don't take it personally.
The thing is with employment, if you get the job it's not about you (in the sense that it doesn't prove your worth or value) and if you don't it doesn't INvalidate you either.

Sure makes life damn harder, when you don't get one you want, though.

But I think I wasted a lot of happy heart muscle doing that, in both senses. I have a nice job so that means I'm good, I deserve it! I have a crappy job with mean people so that means I deserve it! I have no job so that means I deserve that!

Yoicks. It helps me to remind myself that a lot of it is effort and persistence and the other part is luck. And they need to line up right at the right time and place and I can't control both parts.

Promise not to give up.

Hops

Thanks, Hops.

Some days it is so hard to keep putting on foot in front of the other and to keep trying.

Bones

[Gaining Strength]

Some days it is so hard to keep putting on foot in front of the other and to keep trying.

Yes it is Bones.  I am learning a lesson i wish I had know something about 20 years ago.  I am learning to keep my eyes on a goal and take steps towards it.  I am not good at this yet but I am learning to develop to habit of seeing what I want before me.  On another post I wrote a bout a book called LEFT TO TELL.  One of the things this remarkable woman does is set her sights oa job at the UN.  She got a page of the UN directory and added her name at the bottom and even made up an extension number for herself.  She posted that on her wall and everyyday she imagined herself there and she looked at her directory with her name.  And in time she got the call for an interview (out of 1000s of applicants) and she went in and eventually got the job.  She just kept seeing herself get it. - I'm thinking of you and cheering for you. - GS

[Bones]

Some days it is so hard to keep putting on foot in front of the other and to keep trying.

Yes it is Bones.  I am learning a lesson i wish I had know something about 20 years ago.  I am learning to keep my eyes on a goal and take steps towards it.  I am not good at this yet but I am learning to develop to habit of seeing what I want before me.  On another post I wrote a bout a book called LEFT TO TELL.  One of the things this remarkable woman does is set her sights oa job at the UN.  She got a page of the UN directory and added her name at the bottom and even made up an extension number for herself.  She posted that on her wall and everyyday she imagined herself there and she looked at her directory with her name.  And in time she got the call for an interview (out of 1000s of applicants) and she went in and eventually got the job.  She just kept seeing herself get it. - I'm thinking of you and cheering for you. - GS

Thanks, GS!  I need it!

Bones

[Leah]

Some days it is so hard to keep putting on foot in front of the other and to keep trying.

Yes it is Bones.  I am learning a lesson i wish I had know something about 20 years ago.  I am learning to keep my eyes on a goal and take steps towards it.  I am not good at this yet but I am learning to develop to habit of seeing what I want before me.  On another post I wrote a bout a book called LEFT TO TELL.  One of the things this remarkable woman does is set her sights oa job at the UN.  She got a page of the UN directory and added her name at the bottom and even made up an extension number for herself.  She posted that on her wall and everyyday she imagined herself there and she looked at her directory with her name.  And in time she got the call for an interview (out of 1000s of applicants) and she went in and eventually got the job.  She just kept seeing herself get it. - I'm thinking of you and cheering for you. - GS

Thanks GS - I needed that too.

I do know my hearts desire, so I just need to focus on it.

Blessings,

Leah x

[axa]

Thanks too GS,

Getting a little clearer here about work also.  Am making realistic plans.  Need to go out there and network, which I hate doing, but have to get my act togheter.


axa

[Bones]

At one point, I was required to attend an unemployment workshop.  At that point, they also pointed me to a possible state job, which I applied for back in December.  Part of that process required me to take a 2 1/2 hour test.  I took that test last Friday and I have to wait for a month before I get the results.  From what they said before the test, the results would determine if I'm placed on one of the following lists:  "Qualified", "Better Qualified" and "Best Qualified".  After that, I would receive additional job announcements.

Bones

[Gaining Strength]

It's so slow Bones.  Trying the patience of Job.  Keep your mind on where you want to go. 
I'm trying to do this.  I picked up another book to reread and it says the same thing.  I know this is true
but it is so hard to do.  But I won't give up and you won't either. - GS