I just wanted to say that thanks to all the support I've received here, I decided to go ahead and meet my brother and his wife (& their two boys) for dinner with my b/f tonight. It went fine. It was actually fun!
We did talk about our parents, just a little bit. He mentioned that when he calls Dad, Dad doesn't say much on the phone, acts bored or disinterested (typical N)... he also brought up how our Mom offered to walk his boys to school once a week (she lives close to their school), and how they agreed on a day - Tuesday. But in typical N fashion, when the day came, she called to cancel, saying she wasn't able to do it for some lame reason... so he said "to heck with her!"
I did manage to fit into the conversation, somehow (it was a little tough talking with 2 kids and 2 other chatty adults at the table), that "there's a good chance I won't be talking to them [our folks]..for - awhile." He gave me the nod of understanding and we agreed that it was all a "game" to them.
Anyway, I was very surprised, but it appears my brother and sister-in-law may have come to the same place regarding our parents. I thought it was very interesting, as he is the second and I'm the third, the traditional Scapegoat and Lost Child positions...
It felt so good to be validated by a family member.
p bean