I raised 2 boys, and from ages about 12 to 21 or so they are more animal than human
Don't send him away, don't give up on him, please don't ... talk to him, over & over & over & over, show him the way -- break his bad habits -- that's all NPD is living a horrible bad habit and by the time you are an adult, it's unlikely the habit will ever be broken. I truly believe it's a bad habit lived out by people of low character. But, at 14 yr old -- there's hope. If you have read the postings on here, you know how N's act and treat those close to them. If you are sure that is what he is doing, steer him in the opposite direction. Be very clear, lay it out, don't wimp out ... he needs you. Anyone can parent a baby, but it takes deep down gusto to parent teenagers -- been there, done that. Mine turned out super, both have degrees and great jobs, they never did drugs or had trouble with the law, etc., but they gave me a run for my money. My oldest son told me that I have a "killer's instinct when it comes to raising kids." I guess that's because I had such a horrible example in my mother. If you are not prepared to hang in there for your boy for the full count, you should not have had him. You are the parent, don't flip it around. Take charge of your own home -- and at 14 yr old, you don't have much time left to get this done. Sorry to be blunt, but time is short, don't wait. Others will probably disagree with me, but having been eaten alive all my life, I think I know what an N parent is, but I don't know about N children. You must stiffen that spine and take care of business -- if after you have exhausted all your resources he still turns out to be on the dark side, then you have nothing to feel guilty about. We must preserve our integrity and stand in the light. If we lose that, then nothing else much matters.